Night Notes on Napkins

Sometimes I Don't Panic

2012-01-25T22:51:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty panicky in that I've been known to convince myself that a particularly bad mosquito bite was that of a brown recluse spider, or a newspaper smudge on my arm was sudden, explainable bruising and I would have to have my arm amputated. Then there was the time I had pink eye and I was confident I was going to "lose the eye." In short, I have hypochondriac tendencies.

When I mentioned how severe the shoulder and back pain had become again at today's acupuncture appointment my doctor proceeded to checked it out again. "Hmm," she said. You know. In the scary "hmmm" kind of way. The good news is there are a couple of people in my life that I feel very comfortable and safe with when I'm around and fortunately my acupuncturist is one, so when she continued with, "We'll have to keep an eye on this. It could be a benign tumor," rather than visions of having a chunk of my back cut out, my immediate thought was, "It's not a toomah." Total Arnold Schwarzenegger voice in my head.

In any event, I'm all set up with some herbal patches, instructions for finding a proper pillow and some tennis ball in the back therapy. Fortunately, Brubeck was kind enough to forfeit one of his for the cause, and with any luck, I can get these muscles a little more loosened up by my next appointment so she can see what is going on.

Until then, I leave you with this.

Now what?

2012-01-13T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's no secret I liken myself to a certain Carrie Bradshaw. I like shoes, martini's, over the top clothes, having the best friends in the world and writing about it all.

Like Carrie, all those nights out in fancy shoes paid off and I secured my own Mr. Big. But... now what? We are almost upon our first anniversary and I have enjoyed married life. Thinking back to when we first started dating, it was all dinner at the table with Jenna Mammina playing in the background and healthy apples for desert. A perfect cozy night in our house now is making spaghetti and retreating to the couch together for a night of Pawn Stars and chilling with the dog. We chomp chips for desert and I rarely make it through a glass of wine before falling asleep.

Have we lost the glamour? How important is the glamour really? While it is nice to be able lounge in pajamas and not have to reapply my make-up to see my husband, I surely do not want to turn into a slovenly, un-showered couple sitting in separate barcaloungers, with afghans on our laps, take-out strewn about, arguing over what to watch on BBC, with twenty dogs milling about because volunteering with the dog rescue has gotten out of control and we've also become animal hoarders and now our friends won't even come to visit and then....

Ok, so it will be a while before all that would happen, but I just want to be careful that it does not.

Night Notes has been evolving over the last year and while I would never put an end to my favorite scribbles, like Carrie's evolution, there will more posts about real relationships in the next year...you know, if TV dinners, smutty novels, video games and dogs don't take over.

Are you married? How to you keep your marriage fresh with conflicting schedules, obligations, chores and life?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

As Pauly D would say, "Best day of my life."

Prince William getting that dirt off his shoulder. Kate looking all cute. Random girl making it all happen. LOVE IT!

Seasick Crocodiles and a Christmas Movie Confession

2011-12-07T22:48:00.002-05:00

I don't understand how people can simply state, "I hate Christmas music."

How can that be? Sure, I don't want to hear a round of Jingle Bells in March, but no matter who is singing Santa Baby, I am going to stop what I am doing and coo out those lyrics. Baby it's Cold Outside, O'Holy Night, Rockin' Around, the Christmas Tree, Last Christmas, Winter Wonderland? What is not to love?!?!

While we're talking Christmas, I have a confession. It occurred to me last year that I loath this new Christmas favorite. Love Actually. It's actually quite horrible and I have taken it upon myself to share with you why.

Horrible:

1. Professor Snape cheats on Emma Thompson.

2. The other girl sleeps with her husbands brother and then he has to fall in love with someone who does not speak english AND he has to jump in the water to get his novel.

3. Keira Knightly wears that weird wedding dress that they refuse to show us enough of, so we can't decide if we love or hate it and even if you google image it you can't find a proper pic and that is reason enough for bitterness.

4. Liam Neelson's wife dies and it's even sadder to watch now, because it later happened in real life.

5. Billy Bob Thornton kisses Natalie and it hurts Hugh Grant's feelings.

6. When Colin moves to Wisconsin, and then there is ugh, just ugh!

7. OMG LAURA LINNEY. SLEEP WITH THIS ALREADY!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR NOKIA RING TONE?!?

And now for the good stuff.

1. Mr. Bean taking forever to wrap the sordid necklace from Snape. He says, "Flashiest of flashes."

2. The porn stand-ins. (Except when you forget about them, because you ALWAYS do and then you sit down to watch the movie with your parents and there they are all naked and nipples...)

3. When Hugh Grant does his "I'm Prime M. dance bitches!"

And this is why I continue to watch the movie, year after year while wrapping Christmas gifts.

Who you calling UGG?

2011-11-30T11:09:00.001-05:00

A few years ago, Kristen and I were sitting at a bar. These were the days we went shopping weekly for bar outfits and refused to wear the same thing twice. Shoes have always been a weakness. On this particular evening, we were tending to our dirty martini's like it was our job. (Ok, not unlike most of our evenings in those days.) We saw this girl wearing a adorable sweater dress with fashionable tights, but then it the glamour of it all just faded away as the outfit ended in clunky, chunky, flat boots. It was UGGly. We judged, and stood firm as this look continued to catch on over the next few months and years. (I blame Kate Hudson.) We kept tight in our sky high stilletos, nursing any possible foot pain with alcohol whilst declaring, "REAL WOMAN WEAR HEELS!"

And why wouldn't we? We're professionals who can do anything in the right pair of shoes.

Exibit A: At most weddings, particularly the outdoor variety, shoes are kicked off before the bread is served. Look at us going strong as the sun is setting at this early afternoon outdoor affair.

Exibit B. We can climb brick walls. Nothing can slow us down. The heels help I think.

Exibit C: Clearly we can dance. (And point at our shoes to make sure you notice at the same time)

Exibit D: ...um, we can fall down too.

We were living a life in heels and loving every minute. I can even assure you that until a few short months ago, we were prancing along to work in our fancy heels everyday too.

Then some things happened. Kristen decided it would be acceptable to wear tennis shoes on the metro and switch at work. I decided it was acceptable to keep proper slippers under my desk at work for mini breaks. It was all a downward spiral (in more ways than one) to flats from there.

I started my job in retail. After two weeks it has become apparent that my feet are not going to "get used" to standing all day in heels. Fancy flats won't do either. I was forced to by proper flat shoes with arch support. This weekend we have a huge employee discount. While Kristen and I were confident the trend of Uggs would quickly pass, it seems evident there will be no end in sight. I did some research. I like the story. The craftmanship seems impecable. I decided I would secretly purchase the evil boots, but never ever let my stiletto friend know.

Last Sunday morning, we met for breakfast. I showed up with my jeans covering my bootstyle regular slippers. It was early and I slipped into the booth without her ever noticing. We talked jobs, babies, life and gossip over breakfast when I decided I must confess to her my intentions to make the purchase this coming weekend.

To my relief, she revealed from under the table, a black, legging covered leg...that ended with an UGG covered foot...

Coffee people are different

2011-11-16T11:24:00.000-05:00

There is a difference between people who drink coffee, and people who do not. Now, I don't want to say we are better, but maybe we are more passionate. I would go as far as to say I do not trust those who do not enjoy, covet and need coffee in their lives, but that would mean not trusting my husband or mom. And I really like them so I'll let this coffee flaw slide.

The morning I was getting married, my bride brain woke me early. I poked Nat but he was not trying to wake up just yet. We had spent the night at the bed and breakfast and our friends Kurt and Kristi came up the night prior as well to get the party started early. Well, actually, Kristi and I had fallen asleep slightly fearful of the obvious ghost activity in the B&B while the boys did manly things like smoke cigars and drink dark liquor or something?

Anyway, I really wanted breakfast and coffee that morning, so I called my parents. They were absolutely partaking in the B&B breakfast, because really, is anything better? I text Kristi, and Kurt wasn't moving either so we joined my parents immediately.

We sat percolating with excitement as the staff picked me out as the bride for day and popped by our table to offer their congrats. (It might have had to do with my white "Bride" jumpsuit in a dining room of white table clothes, fine silver and china and otherwise appropriately dressed diners that gave me away.) When our waiter came to the table to take our drink order, he had a pot of coffee in hand.

"Coffee or tea?" he politely asked.

In unison, my Dad, Kristi and I immediately snatched our perfectly, proper mugs off the table, desperation in our eyes, hands quivering as we held out our empty cups waiting for him to fill them with that dark, smooth drug. "Coffee pleeeease, yes, coffee, good," we practically grunted, unable to form complete sentences with the goodness so close to being ours. The good man nodding knowingly as he quickly took care of the situation and my sweet mother calmly stated, "I'll have hot tea...whenever you get a chance," she added, giving her coffee crazed companions a look that said we had better start acting right.

It was at that moment when I really saw in action the difference between the ritual of coffee in the morning in comparison other beverages. Mom enjoys her tea. In a normal way. Nat likes Dr. Pepper every morning but he can function before he has it. Not us coffee kids though. Oh, no.

And it gets even stranger. Ok, well this is an extreme, but I am on an Ally McBeal kick, so I will leave you with this. Another extreme:

Why start at the beginning?

2011-11-11T09:01:00.001-05:00

...when I can start at the end when it gets good? Last Friday, was not only my last day at my last job, but my buddy Karla was jumping ship at well. We were useless towards the end of the day. Happy Hour was only hours away and after the painful last few months in an office that was sucking our wills to live, we were much more distracted with nail polish colors, which shoes to wear, getting caffeinated with Starbucks and consoling Kerry, who was still going to be employed at the current establishment on Monday morning.

Finally, 5 o'clock came and the three of us hightailed it out of there and were with drinks in hand mere minutes later. A huge feeling of relief came over me, and then a need to have fun. I could almost remember what it felt like, but I was going to need a few rum and cokes to remind me. It was fun to hang with the girls outside of work. We're all incredibly outgoing so before long we joined forces with another young group of fellas that were also taking Friday night seriously. One of the group was a cutie with potential for Karla, and another just happened to be one of Nat's friends in town from NY. Bonus, because we snapped a pic together and sent it to Nat showing him how much fun we were having. My hubs is not one to partake in nights out on Fridays, but we swindled him right into joining us. (Well hours later when he got off of work.)

Oh, hours later. Yes, our group had grown. We had the good sense to eat dinner. And do some shots. And rejoin the boys. By this time I had invited out my favorite single girl and we had all relocated downtown. Things were blurry. There was music. It was cold outside, but for the first time in months I felt warm and happy and dare I say, alive? I skipped around from old friends, to new friends to my favorite friend. (The one I married.)

I needed that night. I truly hope it ended the hardest time in my life I have ever experienced. Several months ago, I decided I simply could not bare to do what I was doing for another day. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of options and it took several months to secure something new. Something terrifyingly new. I've done the same thing over and over again work wise and expected different results for years. Who knows if this change will be right for me, but I have very, very high hopes and positive thoughts.

With any luck, Julie is back!!!

Poor quality photo, but can we take a minute to look at how happy I am? This is pure joy and not just because of the rum.

Oh, and there was one Night Note.

Kerry: Crayon comes off of plate!!!

The Highlight of October

2011-10-30T18:51:00.000-04:00

The year of 2011 has been a stressful one. When Nat told me we were going to spend a few days in the Outer Banks with his family I was beside myself with excitement. We've been invited for years, but never planned ahead to go. I needed this more than I have ever needed a vacation in my life.

We packed up the pup at 11 p.m. on a Friday night and drove through the night arriving just before 4 a.m. It was breezy and we sprinted to the beach with excitement for ourselves and to see what Bru would think of the ocean.

The stay was filled with soul soothing walks of the beach, strong coffee, book reading, cooking and just hanging out with Nat's family. I am a lucky girl.

Our street. The homes in Pine Island are beautiful!

Bru loving life. He dug so much he had to lie down!

Nat humoured me with a little "1st Birthday Party" for Brubeck

Life at it's best.

Sometimes, there are still Night Notes

2011-10-29T21:39:00.000-04:00

Several Saturday nights ago, Kristen and I not only went out, we left the state of Maryland. I had to check out a comedy club for work or I assure you my night would have involved pajamas and catching up with Sister Wives on TV. While Julie/Kristen adventures were once routinely quite dramatic, we're married and low key these days. We sometimes wonder if we are unhip hermits.

Comedy clubs are not my (our) cup of tea. The last time we went to one, the drunk white "comedian" started making racial slurs before stripping down to his tighty-whities and stumbling through the crowd in Baltimore that had turned on him. It was fairly terrifying in that way when Leonardo DiCaprio does E in Romeo and Juliet. The lights were low, the colors were bright and blurry and I was sure that guns were being held high over heads in slow motion, but we were so drunk ourselves that all we could do was slink down out of our chairs and hide underneath our sticky, alcohol slicked table until it finally occurred to us that we could just leave and that is what we did and successfully, though narrowly avoided the gun fight.

I digress. We put on our fancy clothes and brought a GPS because unlike the days of our past we were going to be respectable, drive ourselves and not be drunkenly passed out in the backseat of Ben's ride when the night was over. All went well on the way there, except for a minor moment when we got slightly turned around. As I calmly cruised under an overpass, church bells or classical music suddenly overtook my vehicle. Life has been high-stress lately, and for a few scary seconds I thought I had completely lost it. I thought my mind had picked that very moment to check out and I was going to be all eerie vacant smiles on the outside, and manic church bells on the inside indefinitely. Luckily, Kristen heard the unexplained sounds as well, so then life was good again.

We arrived right on time to the classy comedy club. There were white table cloths. Have I mentioned how much I adore white table cloths? I do. We ordered our wine by the glass and our 15 dollar salads, 35 dollar entrees and had no fear of a gun fight this time. We were getting special treatment because the general manger knew I was potentially buying 1,000 tickets for my company. The comedian was actually quite comical. (The female magician who opened was...less than comical.)

The GM gave us a private tour of the club upstairs after the show and we caught the attention of the cute comedian. "Still got it!" we thought. We were feeling pretty confident and proud of ourselves when the night was over...

Enter the elevator. Somehow we ended up in it with Tim Kidd . Now, I consider myself to be pretty smooth. So is Kristen. We can talk to anyone. People like us. So why we picked this moment, when we were looking good and had given the appearance of being all VIP to turn this elevator ride into the most awkward 14 floor trip there ever was is beyond me.

Me: So...big plans tonight Tim Kidd? (I meant to come off cool and casual was really only chatting with him to be polite, but it came off sounding like, "Want to go have sex?")
Tim Kidd: (monotone) My second show.
Me: (Do'h!) Well I know that... I meant-- after.
Tim Kidd: (he thinks I'm DTF now and looks curious.) ...I don't know. What do you guys do around here? Are you hanging out?
Me: (horrified fear and panic. Turn to Kristen for help. )
Kristen: WE don't know. We don't live here!!!
Tim Kidd: Where do you live?
K and J: Annapolis.
Tim Kidd: I went to Salisbury once.
(crickets)
Julie: ...oh...that's not... really very close to us.
Tim Kidd: ...Oh... What floor are you guys on?
K & J: (suddenly have idea what floor we are on.)
Kristen: We don't know.
Tim Kidd: (looks annoyed. Gets off on the floor we clearly are supposed to get off on as well. No goodbye. No, "Have a nice night." Just walks away as the elevator door slowly shuts and we stand there for several seconds in silence.)

I'm pretty confident we sucked part of his will to live that night with our awkwardness. What is wrong with us? we questioned. Despite our fear of running into Tim Kidd while he waited to start his second show, we braved the hotel bar while waiting to meet up with our friends Brandon and Sandy. (I really want to just start calling them "Brandy" because they are getting married and it just feels right. )

Anyway, they conveniently live a few blocks away from the comedy club so we got a sweet tour of Arlington and the following (brief) night notes occurred.

Kristen: If I were to be a female magician.
Julie: (look)
Kristen:....ok
Brandon: You could see the rat in my brain running.

In conclusion. it's obvious by my lack of posts in general, not to mention the lack of Night Notes that a lot of other stuff in my life has consumed me lately. I'm working on it, and hoping to get back to a new normal very soon!

Then and Now

2011-09-18T08:39:00.001-04:00

The mosquitoes are subsiding. Crunchy leaves fall gently onto my porch. The windows are open and that familiar crisp feeling sneaks in at night.

Fall is upon us. No amount of wishing or remorse for a summer that went by too quickly and all too neglected will change that. All in good time we'll pick out pumpkins and things that say "Harvest" to put on display in our homes. Everyone is fired up about football and as girls, we physically can not stop ourselves from talking about boots. Is it too soon? It's too soon isn't it? We discuss which boots we plan to wear and with what. Let us not forget the boots that we have yet to purchase this year!

I awoke earlier than needed by the sound of an explosion or gunshot of some sort this morning. Nat moved slightly in his sleep and curled around me a little closer obviously unfazed by the noise. The morning air took me back to my elementary years when the first days of fall would make their appearance. Mom would have put flannel sheets on my bed and I had a few dangerously synthetic night gowns that would spark with static electricity in the night against the sheets. I was often the first to wake up in those days but rather than rise, I would reach for whatever Beverly Cleary, Ramona book I was reading at the time and hunker down for a bit of uninterrupted escape from the trials of my own school work and grade school politics. Eventually, Mom and Dad and Cheryl would wake and we would have toast and eggs and hot Red Rose tea steeped until it was bitter just the way I liked it. The appreciation of a day off from school did not escape me even then.

This morning I'm channeling my inner childhood Julie. The Ramona book is currently replaced with my laptop for perusing blogs and facebook. A sweet husband sleeps soundly next to me and the dog who is rescuing me snoozes on the floor by our bed occasionally opening one eye to see if it is walk time. The blissful satisfaction of a day away from work is not lost on me.

I could totally be in law enforcement.

2011-09-05T08:25:00.000-04:00

It has been determined that Katie and I are going to write letters. Anyone at Harry Browne's bar on Friday night might know this as I slammed my fist against the bar as I exclaimed it. Not only that, but Katie and I have have developed some radical new safety procedures to implement in this town to keep it safe. It involves hot pink. I'll back up.

As if an earthquake and hurricane were not enough, last week Annapolis had the fun of tracking down a fugitive who escaped from the court house right by my house. His specialties are drugs, violence, taking things that don't belong to him and rape. Yay. A well rounded criminal. He had attempted to flee from court a few days prior so our law enforcement decided it would be swell to dress him up in a dark green jump suit and assign him one female guard. Obviously, he overpowered her and ran for the nearest neighborhood where he hid in someone's garage for twelve hours. Oh, and said neighborhood still had no power from the hurricane.

After fighting everyone ounce of my soul that wanted to put on pajamas, eat a cheese sandwich and watch "Four Weddings," I thought it best fight my agoraphobic urges and go out to dinner with Katie. It worked because when we finished dinner I wanted to go get a drink, so we headed on over to old faithful, Harry Browne's and began our discussion of disasters at hand.

First up, why did our hardened criminal wear dark green? Were they out of camouflage? For that matter, why didn't they just dress him up in a business suit? A police uniform maybe? Katie and I think from now on, the crims' (that's new slang you know) get fluorescent hot pink. Nineteen eighties style. And they DON'T get to wear their own clothes under it like in the case of this guy. (Seriously. WTH?!) But the best part? We'll we're still working out the details. We couldn't decide if an alarm would sound if the suit exited the court house, or perhaps it would blast Britney Spears music, or maybe the suit would just blow up like a puffer fish? Again, it would cost money for set up of suits linked to buildings.

I think I finally narrowed it down. The suit only moves in slow motion. I don't know what kind of engineer needs to design it but it definitely can't be that difficult. Once the suit tries to move fast, it locks up and becomes rigid. Walking = good. Running = bad. And the faster the person tries to move, the less the suit will move. That's right. Anne Arundel County is going to have their minds blown with they get our letters. They might even make us honorary council woman! (I'm not sure what that means, but mostly that we will get paid the big bucks to make more decisions like these, or at least just a lot of money for this one.)

Anyway, Night Notes as follows:

9/2/2011

Katie: If I were a fugitive...

Julie: If I were a fugitive, I wouldn't have murdered, robbed and raped.

Julie: He's my doggies daddy.

Note to Self: Just stay home with your pajamas and cheese sandwich.

I rather enjoy needles in my body...

2011-08-30T19:36:00.002-04:00

I'm dabbling in the world of acupuncture these days for a myriad of reasons. Yesterday, I ventured in for the real deal needles-in-my-back appointment.

To get started was told to leave on just my bra and to make sure my skirt was loose enough so she could move it if needed. As I situated myself on the table face down I unzipped and rezipped my skirt numerous times trying to get it just loose enough, but not showing too much thong loose. I gave up when I zipped my skin in the zipper and fretted that she would wonder what kind of kinky things I was into because I had a pinch mark on my ass.

Next up, I put my face in the head rest and conveniently discovered there was an arm rest below. My initial thought was not, "Oh, nice place to rest my hands," but "I bet a lot of people drool on this thing." Around this time, the doctor arrived and proceeded with needles along my both sides of my spine. She wrapped me in blankets, commented that a few of the needles had turned red, (?!) turned on soothing music and left me to my experience.

I felt pretty relaxed and smug about being able to chill out at 5:30 in the evening when I'm normally running around all helter skelter stressed. Suddenly, I woke from a bizarre and startling dream about puppet people arguing though I can't quite recall the specifics any longer. I do recall, my loooong stream of drool hanging straight down to that hand rest! CRAP! and also, I knew it! I frantically wiped away at it, sure the Dr. would appear right then. Oh, the shame of it. I wasn't really sure how long I had been there, but while I didn't entirely doze off again, I was by no means entirely alert.

After an undetermined amount of time, she came back and as promised, removed the first needles and replaced them with a few new ones in a different location and quietly walked out. I proceeded back to my twilight zone of half consciousness. I could barely hear the man in the next room rambling on about his stresses in life and his daughter and wife. I felt bad for the acupuncturist who had to deal with him, but decided that is probably what I sounded like at my first visit last week so I let it go and faded back into the zone.

When it was all done, she told me to take my time getting ready. She suggested I might feel a little loopy. As I stood up, I was surprised to see the sun was getting a little lower in the sky. Looking at the clock I was shocked to find over an hour had passed. I walked over to my clothes and stumbled, I was so off balance. In a calm and relaxed way though. I lost interest with clothes at this point and wandered over to the mirror, (no mind I was passing huge window looking over someones back yard) and found that my eye make-up was surprisingly smeared, my face looked unusually relaxed and come to think of it, it felt completely stress free.

It took me longer than normal to button my shirt and gather my things. Nat had called. Had I told him I was going to acupuncture? At the front desk, I was told what to expect in the next few days. She had done a treatment for my shoulder and for sort of an emotional detox, I believe. The next 72 hours could be interesting. She told me to drive safely as I probably felt as though I had a few glasses of wine and was "dopey."

I'm not sure when the last time was that I felt that relaxed. Nat had dinner for me when I got home and we took a gleeful Brubeck for a cool evening stroll. Now that my head was on a little straighter, I practically skipped on our walk. I slept in dream free bliss, though I did not want to get up this morning. My back is cracking in a very satisfying way and my shoulder issue feels much less tense.

Until the journey continues next week, I'll be trying to find times for the good stuff in life and relaxing with my loves.

East Coast Drama

2011-08-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

So the earth was shaking and the seas were swirling around these parts in the last week.

Last Tuesday we experienced a 5.8 earthquake. That was a lot of shakey excitement for Maryland since most of us have never felt a significant quake before. I can say it was neat because to my knowledge while nothing terrible happened, we had a few broken things and open dresser drawers so I feel like we can say we really experienced something.

While media was all, AGH, batteries, ice, non-perishable foods and gas! Pandemonium now! I was like, "YIPPEE!!! Hurricane storm, it's our 6 month wedding anniversary AND Nat has the weekend off!" I promptly proceeded to purchase plenty of perishable foods which worked out really well for me since we never lost power. And in the Julie and Nat household, the TV remotes are the only things we own that run off of batteries so I didn't have to buy those anyway.

In other news, do you ever just assume that your husband doesn't really pay attention to the girly things you do, but then all of a sudden he not only knows exactly what you are up to, but manages to poke fun at you in a really clever way? I had just finished up some in-house yoga Sunday morning when Nat woke up. Brubeck had actually cooperated and watched in curiosity for once rather than his normal, sniff, sniff, paw, bite knock me over routine. Nat looked up and spied this scene.

"Brubeck is on your Namaste rag." ...Namaste rag?

Oh HI Hermit, Night Notes!

2011-08-21T14:07:00.000-04:00

After the previous Friday nights shenanigans I was on the fast-track back to hermit town. While I did have a great time out of my house for the first time all summer, the repercussions of my beverages were brutal. So when Nat asked me this Friday night if I wanted to go out to visit our friend Newman who was working at the Wild Orchid I hesitated. I hadn't seen Newman in months. I would have to forgo my plans of eating a swiss cheese sandwich, wearing pajamas and going to mtv.com to watch Jersey Shore extras...Oh, god. I had to go. But could I make myself do it?

I looked like this trying to decide.

Full of worry and fret. Eventually, I decided I could do it. I would put on my real pants and apply a large amount of mascara and I would go and drink only a respectable amount of alcohol. I would enjoy going out and mingling with the (gulp)...public.

Nat and I arrived around 11 and there was a drunk psychologist forcefully pushing her knowledge of body language on all the other patrons. Personally, I felt that was in poor form and rather unprofessional. In addition, I feel her need to blatantly make others nervous that she was looking at them to be a sign of her own insecurities. That and I was jealous of her shiny red shoes.

Eventually, I started to settle in. I had a glass of red wine and we started to catch up with Newman. The following Night Notes occurred:

Newman: I had to fire him.
Julie: Why?
Newman: He was mean to the bosses wife...you should know about that.
(Do'h! Touche Newman, Touche)

Julie: How many trannies were there?
Newman: I'm going to plead the fifth.
Newman: Tranny Hobitt. Yeah!

Nat: Newman has a short fuse. It's more like a fuss. Just take of the "e."

We only stayed out of a few hours before Nat and I were both ready to venture home. Getting out of the house was good, but getting back home was good too. I'm going to try to be brave and face the world some more in the next few weeks to secure more night notes blogs. Newman suggested a new feature called, "Night Notes on Night Scrolls" which I think is really just a longer version of a night note, but I'm still entertaining the idea. Right now, I'm really into my new picture feature which I'm pretty sure I can maintain so we'll see how that goes.

Why Dolly Parton is not to be trusted

2011-08-20T17:08:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time back in the early 90's my parents decided to take us to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. We did lots of things on this trip but I'm pretty sure the main event was going to Dollywood. I mean, my Mom likes Dolly Parton, but not base-a-whole-vacation-around-her "like" but I was young so it is the main part of what I remember of this trip.

Anyway, Dolly swears all the rides are kid friendly, and none are too scary but just right. You see where I'm going with this? La de da, carousel, ferris wheels, log flumes, and normal roller coasters. All good stuff. (Come to think of it, ferris wheels and log flumes have always quite terrified me if you want to know the truth. Your all NOT strapped in and flailing about. )

As I was trying to say. First roller coaster. Good stuff. Second coaster.... Let me start by saying if I were to have a discussion with Dolly Parton in regard to the Death and Terror Coaster of Traumatic and Nightmarish Unfun Fear- the look on my face would look like this.

Everyone is so good with MS Paint Pics accurately describing event emotions. Maybe I'll go with this idea?

Dolly calls the coaster in question, Blazing Fury. It is an indoor ride in the dark that takes you through a burning town. Right? No, but what IS that? People are screaming and crying and cats are definitely dying and it's dark and creepy and NOT fun. So I'm sitting next to my big sister kind of in shock at what I'm seeing but mostly thinking, 'this is really weird' because I'm too young to realize it's actually really twisted when all of a sudden the train takes off and it's pitch black and there is water spraying in our faces, but we can't see a thing and then we're falling, falling, falling, and again it's dark and I have no idea when it will end but it finally does and then I realize I was so scared I wasn't even breathing much less screaming and it turns out we supposedly just went over a waterfall...Right? WHY is there a waterfall in a burning town and why aren't the towns people putting out the fire with the water?

I regroup my ten year old brain around what just happened, but not for long because now there are fake people coming at the train crying for help and it's even more kinds of wrong when we begin to hear a loud whistle and a bright light starts barreling towards us except really it's the coaster picking up speed and the light is still and I really can't tell what's going on but then I realize it is a train coming right at us and just before we crash, the coaster takes another million second downward hill right under the light and it's pitch black and it seems like it's never going to end and finally it does and I'm thinking, "I really hope this is almost over."

Just when I lean over to tell Cheryl that I'd like to be done with this we are in peril again because we're barreling towards a brick wall that says something really helpful like "Danger." Fortunately, we narrowly avoid this method of death, but unfortunately it is by going under it just in time in another never ending blind downward mountain of terror.

And then it was over. I was horrified. I couldn't wait to talk about just how horrific it was when Cheryl looks at me with a huge smile. "Wasn't that fun?"

What? No!

Was she out of her mind? Were we even on the same ride? Then my parents met up and they were all, "That was really neat. I've never been on a ride like that before!" All full of glee and giddy. I was still shaking in dismay of everything I'd seen and felt, but when they asked me, I was all...

Never better. Never better.

That was the end of that. For a few years anyway. Believe it or not, we went back to Dollywood like three years later.

I'd never expressed my negative feelings towards the Blazing Fury coaster and just hoped it would not be there again. But it was. And my silly family wanted to subject themselves to it again. Mom and Dad got on first. Off they went. I was starting to feel a little panicked. Cheryl and I got on and sat down. "Are you OK?" Cheryl asked me. "Iwanttogetoff.Idon'tlikeit."

CLICK. And it was too late. We were off. It was only then, as we slowly rolled through that burning town with the trapped cat that I hyperventilated my hatred towards the ride. We coasted ever so slowly, closer and closer to the blacked-out never ending hills that evoked such terror to me. I clutched my sisters arm for dear life as we catapulted to or from danger the same three ways once again. This time, I had so much pent up fear I was visibly shaking (ok, and crying) when we exited this house of horror. My parents were quite confused by my state of distress.

This doesn't normally happen, but I got so carried away with my facial expression pictures, I'm not sure how to end the blog. Um. The End.

I never cease to be amazed...

2011-08-16T12:36:00.000-04:00

Without really getting into what I do for work, I wanted to share the following email transaction that I found to be both hilarious and shockingly untactful for lack of a better description. It begins with an email from a random lady in response to a mass discount email that was sent out by my company. (I have only edited my response to avoid getting into my line of work.)

Random Lady: email me fee schedules! I want to good services too.

Professional Me: I have attached a generic preliminary sheet so you can get an idea of our fees. Would you like me to prepare one with specific figures? I would be happy to answer any questions you have and hope to work with you soon.

Random Lady: do you have chinese work in your office?

Professional Me: (Wait. What? Proceeds to google person while drafting appropriate response in head.)

Random Lady: We will pass since I have much better deals with another two companies, even with $300 discounts.

Good Luck, I know a lot of ________ companies will be out of business next few years, just too many around.

Yes, the person who is unable of emailing with proper grammar just wished me good luck and suggested my company may go out of business? I feel a more appropriate response could have been, "Thank you, our current companies still offer lower rates."

My favorite part? Her email signature.

"I believe success isn't what we know, but who we know."

Fantastic! It's good to not want to be held accountable for making yourself a success but rather to mooch off of others.

For the record, I felt no need to respond.

School, Gin, Night Notes, and Procrastination

2011-08-14T11:50:00.001-04:00

After taking several semesters off of school while doing that whole big white dress thing and getting settled into new jobs, the time to hesitate is through. I have registered for an intense program this fall called Excell. The short version is that students can earn up to 36 credits in one semester by targeting specific classes they are required to take and writing to prove "life experience."...or something. I'm not sure, even though I have a friend who has done it and discussed it with several advisers, I'm still not positive how it works.

I do know that I'm technically in the program which starts...you know, sometime in the next few weeks and the first order of business is that I peruse the courses I have left to take and write an essay explaining which courses I will be targeting in the program. Sounds easy enough, right? We'll I'm sure it will be once I get started.

Wednesday I simply had to do laundry. And then Thursday, I'm embarrassed to say, well that was Jerzday and before that I needed to vacuum and wander aimlessly around my house for five hours. Priorities. Friday night I really was about to stop playing on the internet. Really I was. I was sipping a gin and tonic on my deck and I swear I was reaching for the syllabus when my phone rang and my hand switched directions and answered totally against my will.

It was my good friend Eli who I had not caught up with in ages. He used to be my roommate and now we literally live less than a mile from each other but I rarely see him. He said he was walking downtown to Stan and Joes for some live music and I happen to love Stan and Joes and know all the bartenders there so before I knew it, I said I'd leave straight away.

The syllabus fell to the ground in symbolic slow motion. Brubeck looked a me in a rather judgmental way for such a young pup. I assured him I'd only be gone for one and kissed the top of his furry head as I popped out the door.

The thing with Annapolis is that you can never just go to one bar. It's basically impossible to not relocate at least once. After we had discussed Eli's recent honeymoon and various other topics of interest, the band became extra loud and we decided to go to Tsunami. The good news is we ordered sushi, but the bad news is that we also ordered more drinks. Twice. My plans for 9 a.m. yoga and completing the crucial school project in question before heading to a birthday party the next afternoon were quickly deteriorating.

There is only one Night Note. It is as follows:

Eli: I tell you what I'm going to do. Not go to yoga at 9 a.m.

Sigh. As previously discussed in painstaking detail I've been quite the non-drinking hermit in my house all summer long. The memory of the numerous gin and tonics did nothing positive for my Saturday. When I officially made it out of bed around 3:30 (oh the shame of it) it still look me a solid two hours to get myself in gear to go to the party three hours late. And nurse an iced tea.

Upon arrival home I had a solid hour before Nat finished work and it would have been a great time to start the project. I'm pretty sure I spent and extensive amount of time wandering around and petting Brubeck before convincing Nat to watch Eclipse, or whichever is the third Twilight movie.

Julie: Let's watch Twilight. It's good. I swear. Wolves fight.
Nat: Is there nudity?
Julie:.....Yes.

He was totally onto me and dudes with muscles and no shirts does not qualify as his version of 'nudity' however I was still a little pale and ill from my hangover so he obliged. I will admit the movie wasn't as good as I remembered, but don't tell Nat that.

So now, it's Sunday. The dog as been walked, I've consumed a bagel and secured coffee. The house is relatively clean. There is no reason not to start this school thing. I mean, it really shouldn't take too long. I should just get it done and over with. I'll feel so much better when it's done. Worse case scenario it takes two hours. So really, I have all day to do it, right?

Jersey Shore Thoughts

2011-08-08T15:09:00.002-04:00

My husband has taken to calling me a hermit because I just haven't felt like myself lately and therefore have not gone out. You may have noticed the decline in Night Notes. To fill the sober void, today you'll find evidence of the deep and meaningful conversations I partake in. It's really not all that different from an actual Night Note. Typically, I allow myself one really good trash reality show to indulge in at a time. This google chat excerpt is Kristen and me discussing our favorite orange GTL'ers in painful detail last Thursday before the premier.

Julie: I just watched the trailer for Jersey Shore. SO excited. Im also such a loser
Kristen: Ha ha ha. I think I will probably start watching it and then get bored halfway through the season, which is what I did last year. It is set to record though!
Julie: no way dude. i had not seen the trailer until now and it looks amazing!
Did you know there are going to be fights?!?!?!
Kristen: ha ha ha ha I saw one where they had the situation on a stretcher?
something ridic like that
Julie: I KNOW!
although i thought it was ron, but yes, it does make more sense for it to have been mike. It looks like those two are going to get in a real fight
Kristen: i like ronnie (insert face of shame)
Julie: ............
Kristen: ha ha ha. i know!
Julie: i dont think i can be your friend.....for real
Kristen: i hate mike
Julie: TEAM SAMMI!!!! (I mean, if we're talking Ron and Sam)
Kristen: she's a whiny beyotch
Julie: Yeah, but Ron is a dick
Kristen: but she is sweet sometimes. no, i am talking ron vs the other guys
Julie: um,....no i like Mike more. But obv Pauly D and Vinnie are the best ones
and Ronnies is not bad looking but I really dont like how he scrunches his nose when he laughs
Kristen: Vinnie...BARF I'd do ronnie and pauly
Julie: (..you do realize this is going to have to be a blog post about us contributing to society again right?)
Kristen: ha ha ha
Julie: AND DON'T SAY BARF!
and STOP LIKING RONNIE!
I HATE him!
Kristen: ha ha ha ha i think vinnie is so ug!!
Julie: he is not, i mean hes a little pale
and he does do that eyebrow thing that is annoying
but he is sort of nice, and funny
Kristen: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=vinnie+jersey+shore&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=sQQ&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1024&bih=613&tbm=isch&tbnid=RCSn198lBm47uM:&imgrefurl=http://jerseyshoreleak.com/index.php/jersey-shore-images/%253Falbum%253D2%2526photo%253D79&docid=7KGUe9Eg1qd-XM&w=600&h=400&ei=EgU7Tqb9GoXX0QGzsfmxAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=516&vpy=324&dur=325&hovh=127&hovw=190&tx=117&ty=182&page=3&tbnh=123&tbnw=183&start=29&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:29
does that show up ?
vinnie is clearly the ugliest and, also, his eyes are overly groomed.
*eyebrows
Julie: ok, his eyes are in fact overly groomed
however Ronnie has Dr. Suess hairs
*hair
Kristen: ha ha ha his hairs are awful
Julie: i also have a suspicion that he shaves part of the top of his forehead

And there you have it. The world is lucky to have us.

I would have been a great Girl Next Door

2011-07-31T14:04:00.000-04:00

In order to do this post, I have a shame worthy confession. I adore the original "Girls Next Door" with Holly, Bridgette, Kendra and Hef. It's true. It's a guilty pleasure I find highly entertaining.

When Hef and the original three split, I boycotted the new show staying loyal to my girls and scoffing at the gold digging twins and wannabe Crystal Harris. "TEAM HOLLY," I secretly rallied in my head. I truly believe with all my heart and soul she loved him.

Hef and Crystal split days before their wedding and Crystal was quickly replaced with new entertainment. Realizing her fame was ending and how replaceable she was, in a recent Howard Stern interview Crystal described an unfortunate sex life with her ex. Ungrateful bitch. I felt enraged. (No, really I did.) The following conversation occurred.

Julie: I loath that Crystal Harris.

Kristen: Yeah, she's an idiot.

Julie: NO class.

Kristen: Hef is a very rich and powerful man. You don't want to mess with him.

Julie: So ungrateful. You have your perks from Hef and you keep your mouth shut!

Kristen: ...Can you imagine sleeping with Hef?

Julie: .....I mean, I don't really want to. But it probably wouldn't be that bad.

Kristen: He's not bad looking.

Julie: He's not! He used to be really cute. Ohmygod I have a game.

Kristen: WHAT?

Julie: Who would you rather sleep with? Ok. Hef or.... Cee Lo Green?

Kristen: Hef.

Julie: ME too. Ce Lo has very nice teeth, but he looks kind of sweaty.

Kristen: Hef or Bill Gates? One of the richest men on earth.

Julie:.....Hef. He's still cuter and seems like more fun.

Kristen: Me too.

Julie: Hef or Donald Trump.

Julie and Kristen: HEF!

Julie: Donald looks like he would have bad breath. Maybe I do want to sleep with Hef?

Kristen: Ha ha. We would have made awesome "Girls Next Door."

Julie: We would have. And we wouldn't have trash talked Hef when it was over!

I've set it before and I'll say it again. We are a huge asset to society.

No disrespect is meant to Kendra. I lover her but clicked the wrong photo and Hubs said it was funny and better to put his pic than to keep a real Girl Next Door.

In a recent crafting adventure, Kristen introduced me to Mod Podge. We were Mod Podging planets onto a chair when the following completely serious conversation occurred:

Julie: If I were a planet I would be Jupiter. Those rings are the best.

Kristen: So would I...but with diamond rings.

Julie: Yeah and a lot of moons too. Jupiter is a high maintenance bitch.

Kristen: I think the Mod Podge fumes are getting to us.

I want to hang out in my driveway all day

2011-07-28T22:52:00.001-04:00

With a little extra time yesterday morning, I popped out for a quick stroll around 8 a.m. with Brubeck. As we leisurely walked down my street, a toddler toddled down the sidewalk wearing just a pair of swim trunks in front of his house while his extra pregnant mom set up a wooden table with perfectly mismatched chairs in the driveway. His Dad came from around the corner carrying a blue plastic pool. They appeared to be setting up for a fabulous morning. The boy smiled in delight at Bru and exclaimed, "Doggie."

I felt slightly jealous of the fun they would be having while I ventured on to sit in my office for the day. I wondered how long they would enjoy their morning outside and kind of even wished I could be sitting in a cheap blue plastic pool of my own.

Today I found time to sneak in another walk before work again. Wouldn't you know that the table and chairs were set up again, only this time there was a fresh Micheal's bag filled with what I was sure was the supplies for a crafty morning on the table. I felt grouchy and green with envy which is not a good and zen way to feel. All the same, I wanted to be hanging outside doing crafts on a beautiful summer day.

I'm not sure what the Dad does and if he eventually went to work, or if the Mom is just home relishing her last few days as a one child Mom before the second arrives. I really thought about that. I might have to go to work, but I kind of secretly might like my job a little bit right now. Shhh! Don't tell anyone. Even though that woman is at home, she does and is about to have all sorts of stresses and interuptions that I can't even imagine. Maybe her driveway morning isn't actually nearly as relaxing as it looks...?

If you see me chilling in my driveway having my own relaxfest this weekend, you'll know where I got my inspriration. Unfortunately, I think I would look trashy sitting in a childs plastic pool, but maybe I can have table/crafts time outdoors....

***Update: Friday morning, two giant pots of assorted planted herbs were added to the driveway setup. Not bitter. Not bitter at all.

Silent Sunday

2011-07-24T12:15:00.000-04:00

Ocean City, Maryland, July 23, 2011

Amy

2011-07-24T11:01:00.000-04:00

In the t-shirt shop on the boardwalk in Ocean City, I was casually waiting for my sister who was trying on a few pairs of shorts while I gazed at the myriad of decals adorning the ceiling and walls. I will always remember where I was on this blistering hot day when I heard this tragic news.

Random sales clerk from Montgomery County who goes to Towson and thinks I go to UMBC because he asked me where I go to school and it seemed like an easier answer to just say that: (yes, I have no idea why I know so much about this guy after being in the store for 10 minutes...where was I? Oh yeah---)

Towson Boy: Did you hear that singer died?

Me: Who?

Towson Boy: Amy Winehouse

Me: She did?! That's terrible. When?

Cheryl: (peaks head and half of body out from behind dressing room curtain, shorts only half pulled up over her bathing suit) What? Amy Winehouse died?

Towson Boy: Yes she was found in her apartment today.

You can't help but think the obvious. She should have gone to rehab. Actually, I think she did try on numerous occasions. I thought Amy was a phenomenal singer. I loved her amazing voice, heartfelt lyrics, and watching her dance to her music. She had an nontraditional style that she stayed true to and she rocked it.

On the car ride home I told Cheryl I was angry. This woman was incredibly talented and had all the resources she could possibly need to get better. Now we will never have more amazing music from her. But you know what? We don't know how she died yet. We all just assume it was drug related. I'm disgusted by the negative facebook status updates. Maybe I'm not shocked myself that she died, but to treat her death as something that deserved to end and to actually post that she deserved to die is inexcusable.

No one knows what demons this woman had to battle. The untalented people posting these things will never know what relentless media attention can do to your mind and soul. Who knows what other troubles, mentally, physically, family, childhood ect., she had to overcome.

I truly hope Amy is resting at peace and signing her heart out. I'm glad she shared her talent with the world while she could.

Happy Hour Night Notes

2011-07-11T07:20:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, Kristen, Katie, Brubeck and I decided to go to a casual Thursday night happy hour at Wild Orchid. As these things often happen, one thing led to another and before you know it, thirteen of us had gathered and were relocated to Metropolitan's rooftop and it was nearing last call. The wine, and a few shots were flowing and the night note had manifested itself on a cloth napkin. This is either an all time high or all time low. Oops. Let's go with classy.

The Night Notes, as they were this fine Thursday night.

Katie: You can die from detox from alcohol.
Kristen: That's why I'm still drinking.

Kristen: Is this when you ate all my strawberries?
Julie: I ate all your strawberries and your pasta.

Julie and Kristen: Newman was the least creepy of them all.

Anonymous: Patrick F. always pretends to be the good guy.

Kristen: (proudly) I have pecs too!

Katie: It's painful to be sore.

Newman: The plaid bitch!

Newman: Wine, woman and wisdom. When women drink wine there is not a lot of wisdom.
Kristen: That's a lot of wisdom.
Newman: More like bitches, booze and bitching.

Kristen: Welcome to Annapolis. Keep your dirty f$&King mouth off our fountains.

Bri: We do not support Newman. Ever.

Kristen: That wasn't an accident.

Julie: I think drunk eyes are hot.

Jud: Grandmere-occur.

Katie: It's pre-sexy back. After nsync, before sexy back.

And there your have it. Night Notes on a cloth napkin.

I'm not in the mood to get my camera, but feel the need to prove this happened, so here is the evidence taken outside on my computer cam while I sip my afternoon gin and ton.

Silent Sunday

2011-07-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

Taking a well deserved breather and enjoying a moment of nothing for the first time in weeks and weeks and weeks...

My Gain is Your Gain Giveaway

2011-07-06T22:26:00.000-04:00

As the dog days of summer quickly slip by me, I'm trying desperately to find time to enjoy them. My mind runs a million miles a minute and unless I write things down, nothing happens.

On that note, the old Night Notes have been neglected. Both the blog and the actual act of jotting down Night Notes, though an epic one from last week is to follow. To try to get back on track, I'm going to do my first ever giveaway! Hopefully, I'll have more than two entries because then I would feel really bad about myself.

Here's the scoop. As previously mentioned, this summer had a very rough start. Then I inherited lots of fantastic furniture and a piano and spent a few weekends organizing my Grandmother's house to get it ready to sell. I was "volun-told" to take all the pictures out of the house to be sorted at a later date. Eighty-seven years worth of pictures means many, many more boxes of pictures than you could ever imagine. (Um, along with quite a few skeletons which I must say is a welcome distraction to the still painful loss and shock- but I digress.)

You know how you read a good book and you start to feel like the main character? This has been kind of like that. Grandmere had many talents and hobbies. Many I've dabbled in here and there. Obviously, I brought home her piano and pictures, but also patterns for sewing and of course a few books. I feel like I'm turning into her which is surely not a bad thing. It has however made me want to become a minimalist, all the while I realize I picked up a lot of new stuff. One day, Nat and I will move, and all of our stuff is going to have to come with us.

I started cleaning off my bookshelf. How often to I read books again? Some I donated, but then I had a thought. How about a good old fashioned self-promoting giveaway. I haven't seen it yet, but I know a few months ago "Something Borrowed" was in theaters. I adore Emily Giffin books. But I'm more than likely not going to read them again. I don't own "Something Borrowed" but I do have "Love the One You're With," which is actually my favorite. And I'm not going to read it again, but you might.

As for the giveaway, I don't really feel like figuring out how to generate a random picker because that sounds boring and also, I like to answer questions. To enter, follow me and ask me a question or tell me something you would like me to write a blog entry about. If you follow me on twitter, I'll tally up bonus points for you in my head and if you get more people to follow me, let me know and I'll like you even more and be even more likely to give you my Em Giff book. Hey, it's my blog, I've had a rough summer and I make the rules how I want! I suppose there should be a deadline, but I'm not really sure what is standard, so I'll make it next Wednesday night. That is one week. Unless you respond that that is not standard in which case I'll change it. (See? You have some say.)

I promise to get back to quality blogging after this shameless self promotion for absolutely nothing shortly. Well, depending on your definition of "quality."

AM I losing my mind?

2011-06-24T22:05:00.000-04:00

My friend Jen and I have been trying to get our pups together for the once monthly "Yappy Hour" event downtown. This week after we confirmed we could both go, she realized that she had to drop her boy off at boarding since she was going away in the morning but decided she would still go with me and Bru anyway. Last night I noticed Bru's eye was a little red. We decided it must be from swimming and we would keep our own eyes on his. Morning time? He's fine.

I rushed in the door at 5:15 this evening exclaimed, "Let's go Bruby!!!! We're going to Yappy hour! You're going to love it!" He was really excited. We thought it was best to walk since I would be drinking and he can't drive.

Twenty minutes later we were there and I got in line for my beverage but Bru was being all weird and pawing at his face. I told him to stop embarrassing me. He got distracted and mingled with an enormous Newfoundland for a bit. We made our way through the crowd and this lady was all, "Oh, he's so sweet. And look at that winky eye?" Everyone tells me he is so cute and while I was confused about the wink thing I figured she just had too much to drink already. She seemed a little drunk.

I went inside to get some cash and that's when I really looked at Bru's face for the first time this evening. His eye was swollen almost shut! I completely panicked and started talking to him about how we had to leave immediately and I was SO sorry I hadn't noticed sooner. A sweet man walked by and told me I had a good looking dog. Near tears, I told him we had to go because he had an eye infection and I can't believe I hadn't noticed sooner. The man seemed really concerned, (about me, not Bru) and assured me Bru would be ok. I started to cry.

Bru and I ran outside and I called Jen telling her she wasn't going to believe this. She said not to worry and we kind of laughed since she had in fact made an emergency vet run with her guy this week too. I tried to jog with Bru but it was like 85 degrees outside and I basically had to tug him along which is when I realized it was clearly a viral infection and he probably had a temperature and was bordering on having a seizure. (Obviously.) I called my mother in law to get the vets number to call on our walk home, but they would not see him until morning and had the audacity to say they could tell I was upset and if it seemed to get worse I could take him to the emergency vet. I mentally started writing the scathing letter I planned to send to them in my head.

My mother in law called a few minutes later and said to bring him by and she would take a look to see if she thought he could wait or not. I felt relieved to have help in my fur-babies fate. But what's that? His face looked kind of back to normal. In fact, had I imagined it? No, the other happy hour people were commenting. Pat took one look at him and said it looked slightly pink but other than that he seemed fine.

Seriously. I have no idea how he went from total half shut swollen wonk eye, seriously illness dog to perfectly healthy two eyed dog in a matter of of 20 minutes. My biggest concern now? What am I going to tell the vet now? I've already called them once, (ahem three other times) for random questions. Clearly, I come off as a total nut job.

And this my friends, is only one of the reasons I could never have a real kid.

Do these look like Mom pants?

2011-06-18T16:08:00.001-04:00

After an overly successful shopping trip at good old Marshall's earlier this week, the following interaction occurred between the cashier and me.

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Do you think it would be appropriate to get a green lantern for my 7 year old son?

Me: (looks around to see if she is really talking to me.) : Um,...what?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Do you think it would be appropriate to take my son to see the movie "Green Lantern?"

Me: (Brief image of Ryan Reynolds all green runs through my mind. Becomes side tracked with thoughts of Ryan's wash board abs. Quickly jerks back to reality as ample bosom lady has stopped ringing up my items and is waiting for an answer. ) Oh...What is it rated?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: PG-13.

Me: And your son is 7?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Yes.

Me: (Wonders if this lady is serious. Why is she asking me parenting advice? Start to question my purchases. Did I accidently buy Mom khakis? No, that's surely not it. Is she just making small talk? Why didn't she just ask about the weather or tell me how non-mommy my khaki capris are like a normal person? She's being so nice it would be bitchy to say it would probably be fine to take her son to see the movie in 6 years when he is 13 because isn't that what PG-13 means after all? Realize I haven't said anything for an extended period of time. ) Well I'm sure it would be fine if you are going to be with him. Then if he has any questions you can discuss it with him afterwards. (There! That sounded very intelligent and reasonable. I feel pretty proud of my answer.)

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Yeah. That's true.

Me: Yeah. He'll be fine. Good luck! (I have no idea what that movie is about. )

Deep Conversations with Julie and April

2011-06-15T09:38:00.000-04:00

The following is an actual g-chat conversation between my best friend and me a few weeks ago where we discuss the complexities of making it big on the tails of the youtube hit, "Friday." It's clear to me that we are a big asset to society...

April: I seriously need to work but have you seen this? Rebecca Black, Friday It's ridic, hilar, and catchy

me : been knowing about that, SO catchy

April: i figured --I don't do the youtube thing but this is just so freaking funny

me: even though its SOOOO bad

April: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!

me:damn, but now its going to be in my head again

April:couldn't be worse, i wanted to share the torture

me: that video was mad drama like a month ago, there are just so many questions, ok, mostly just the one, why is she driving around with her 13 year old friends...in a car?

April: and which seat do I choose??

me: on a fridaaay, fridaaay,...after she ate her cereal?
ok, my other question is why is it so catchy when its SOOOOO bad...you know her parents spent a couple thousand for her to make the video? Oh, and that rap guy?

April: ......Because its Friday!!!!

me :oh right, it IS because its Friday

April: and really everyone does look forward to the weekend! so everyone can relate!

me: especially ON a Friday

April: esp! she's had like 150 million views! ....I guess I've been like 5 tho

me: and I've been a couple as well. *hangs head in shame....maybe we can come up with somethign catchy

April: maybe we can, that everyone can relate to

me: so...Wednesday is out?

April: hump day?

me:"WTF Wednesday?" - it used to be a big deal until I got old and was no longer able to hang on Wednesdays, and "throw in the towel thursday" got real.

April: It can't be negative or pessimistic or it won't work, everyone looks forward to summer,or spring, flowers blooming, the beach? Friday is every week tho,.....seriously every week people look forward to Friday. It can't be beat

me: what about....SATURDAY?!?! Saturday is WAY better than friday...unless you are hungover from Friday

April: Friday is all about the anticipation

me: thats where it gets tricky, you are right, there is NO anticipation for Saturday

April: by the time Saturday is here you're over it

me: people always be saying, "is it Friday yet?"

April: Okay I seriously need to do some work or I won't be able to leave!on FRIDAY! FRIDAY

me:not on FRIDAY? but you must leave early on Friday friday

April: ...maybe we can make an adult version

me: yeah, adult mostly just means alcohol prob,right?

April: I'm pretty sure they had alcohol...

me: they did? oh dear. how will we upstage them then?

April: i mean how do you "party" without alcohol

me: did they have the sex?

April: I didn't see sex

me: we'll the add sex!

April: leaving work early and sex --we got it!

me: oooooh, that IS it

"leaving early, early, early
going to have some sex"

same beat and everything!

(i feel a blog coming on.)

April: we have to stop I'm looking like a fool cracking up at my desk

me: ha ha ha, but it doesnt matter, we're about tomake it big!

April: not rofl but cuamd

me: wait...what is cuamd?

April: cracking up at my desk

me: ha ha ha, me too

April's new status message - MUST. DO. WORK! 10:30 AM

April:okay. don't talk to me or you might interrupt my working.

PIVOT!!!

2011-06-10T21:15:00.000-04:00

Nat and I are getting rid of basically every big item we own. The couches, the kitchen table, dressers, ect. If you read the last post you can pretty much put the pieces together and guess that we're inheriting all of Grandmere's furniture. It's bittersweet obviously, but I'm trying to focus on the upgrade. The current project/distraction is moving everything out. This means posting things on craigslist to sell on the cheap and hope the people don't chop you up when they come to get them.

It's hard to coordinate mine and Nat's schedules and well, my four legged friend isn't exactly intimidating just yet so he would be of no protection. The first guy came this evening and I was sure right away I was going to get out alive and he wasn't going to steal all the rest of my things. We had great luck with the first dresser. By the second we had chatted a little and I'd even sold him on the futon. The relocation of the long dresser proved to be tricky. It was a "pivot" situation. I put on my best Ross from Friend's impersonation and was all "Pivot, Pivot, PIVOT!!!" And the guy was like, "Turn, Turn, Turn!" Fortunately, we had much better luck than Ross and nobody got stuck or crushed, and the best part was that nobody got chopped up!

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around things and come to terms with life and death and all that. In the not so far back on my mind, it's right there every minute of everyday. The weekend plan is a day at the pool with my best friend. Sun, wine, vit d and a little down time are starting to warm my spirits just thinking about it.

Trying to sort it all out

2011-06-08T22:22:00.000-04:00

With the first truly hot days of summer upon us, I broke down and turned on the air conditioning after a long walk with Brubeck. Sticky with sweat and physically and emotionally beat after my tear filled walk I took a cool soothing shower. The air had kicked in by the time I got out and my muscles had relaxed. I felt comforted by the familiar relief. It reminded me of summers spent with my Mom while my sister was working or out with friends.We would swing by the Amish farm and pick up homemade ginger bread. She would take me to the library and being the odd kid that I was, I would often read books under my bed thinking my hideaway was most clever. It was cool and dark while I read Sweet Valley and Babysitters Club books by the armful. This weekend I wished I could go back to those more simple, innocent, carefree times if only for a few days when all was right with the world.

My beloved Grandmother passed away on May 27th. After an impressive battle with numerous forms of cancer over the last decade, I'm searching for comfort in that she is at peace. She taught me more than I could ever share, and I love her more than words could ever fully express. She never stopped living life to the absolute fullest, teaching polka dance, crocheting elaborate blankets, helping me plan my wedding and being an inspiration to everyone she met. Family, her friends, my friends, even her doctors fell in love with her instantly. It seems the whole world should stop moving and morn this tremendous loss. I don't know how long it will feel take for me to stop feeling like the breath is repeatedly knocked out of me all day long and wondering how it is even possible that she is gone. I do know I am so lucky to have had her as my Grandmother.

Grandmere

Not Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-18T18:47:00.001-04:00

I was all set to to a Wordless Wednesday post. It was going to be something like this.

Writing buddy.

Oh my god look how cute Brubeck is, and look how I'm posting a silent post and talking about it as always, defeating the purpose of a "wordless" or "silent" post. No, but seriously look how cute he is. I just sat on the floor and he positioned himself on the couch with his head right on my shoulder while I was writing!

So that was going to be the post. Until I got a text at 2:42 a.m. last night. It said:

"Night Note: are your boobs just forb storage"

Drunks! On a Tuesday night! That's ok. It was from my friend Newman and he's on vacation with my friend Katie, because they are dating because I introduced them. It worked out really well. So first I was like, Damn, I'm freaking tired. I don't care about boobs right now. Then I thought about the question. Technically speaking, are boobs just forb storage?

I've scientifically decided the answer is no. For some, maybe. I on the other hand do not plan to ever store anything in my boobs. For me, they are there to make my clothes look better...but not that much better because I don't have a lot going on, which really means it's a good thing I don't plan to use them since they wouldn't store much anyway.

More importantly, I feel like a really important curator. Sort of like whoever overseas "texts from last night." People were drunk last night. Funny things were said. They felt the need to check in with me. Let me know something noteworthy happened. Check in with the old "Night Note Curator." I take the title very seriously. I'm thinking about putting it on my resume actually. Maybe my LinkedIn.

On that note, I'm sorry for wasting your time with a fake Wordless Wednesday post. Here, look at my puppy again. It's not like you have a choice.

"Puppy Baby!" (Yeah, that might be how I greet him when I get home. *Hangs head in shame.)

When a Mockingbird tries to Kill you...

2011-05-17T10:57:00.001-04:00

On Sunday, I decided to give the old tree loppers a whirl on a few of the crape myrtle branches that hang over my car, snagging at my hair each morning and throwing all sorts of tree stuff on my vehicle. After a few snips, I heard a squawk and angry flapping and then a bird darted out of the tree, landed on my house and stared from above. Gulp. He made a few more sounds and another bird joined him on my house. I'd seen this in a movie once and the outcome wasn't good. With one eye on the bird I made a few more hasty snips before he swooped back into the tree and made mean noises and I scooted across the yard. That bird was surely threatening me.

I was sure this was my fate.

Just then, my mother in law pulled up, happy at the site of loppers as she's had her eye on trimming that tree for some time. She gave me the courage I needed to get back in there, and helped me tackle some of the ivy that is viciously overtaking the tree and ultimately killing it. The birds swooped in and out and squawked and threatened. We made a solid game plan of which branches to keep and which would have to go due to death by ivy and called it a night. The mockingbirds glared from above.

When I got home yesterday, Nat, my mother in law, and a few neighbors were circling below the tree and the mockingbirds and a few smaller bird friends were circling from above. It was quite the scene. I brought Brubeck out on a leash and we sat down on the lawn to watch the tree get it's hair cut and the ivy patch below be subdued. Dogs and owners walked by for visits, new neighbors popped over with tips and ideas and even a pick-up truck to haul away the dead branches.

It was great to see everyone come together on a busy first night of the week. We've lived here just over a year and have always been friendly with everyone, but ever since we've had Bru it's like we've been formally accepted. We had puppy school and Bru wasn't going to have time for his evening walk. A sweet college girl from across the street has a young German Shepherd. She invited me to bring Bru over to run and burn off some energy in their back yard. He had a great time.

As cheesy as it may be, it's a great feeling watching your whole neighborhood come together for a project spontaneously...and offer support against killer Mockingbirds.

Freebie Five (Yes, of course I mean sex.)

2011-05-12T11:13:00.000-04:00

Now that I'm married I have lots of important things to tend to like raising a puppy, trying out new recipes, and keeping a clean house. A wise friend of mine recently commented on a blog that I was growing up and would be catching baby fever soon. Not going to happen. Since I happened to have just started working on my Freebie Five list, I decided to post it just to help prove him wrong. How immature is that?! If you don't remember the Friends episode where they decide which celebrities they are allowed to sleep with given the opportunity, well you'll have to youtube "Ross, Isabella Rosselini" yourself for clarification because the video refuses to attach.

I did a little research this week and I have my official first (un-laminated!) list. I still reserve the right to make changes as I mature. For now, this is my list IN order.

5. Robert Downey, Jr. - He's a classic. You can't go wrong and all your friends would be jealous. He's dabbled in a little bit of trouble and made an awesome come back. I bet he's polite and opens doors and stuff.

4. Taye Diggs - I've loved him from the first time I saw "Brown Sugar." He dresses well, is a charmer and you know he's got moves. He would definitely open doors.

3. ~~Matthew McConaughey~~

~~Bradley Cooper~~

Matthew McConaughey - That's a hard decision there, but you can't have both. Brad's funny, but I need somebody a little less conservative and a little more sweaty. Somebody who is a bit crazy, and maybe has a southern accent in the good way. MM looks good in and out of clothes. He's probably not going to open any doors, but he might share his banana smoothie with you-post run.

2. Javier Bardem - Where to begin? I was smitten in Vicky, Christina, Barcelona. If that man asked me to go on an airplane to Oviedo, after I'd just met him during dinner in Barcelona, I would go in a heartbeat! When he came onscreen during Eat, Pray, Love, my girls and I began to just giggle. Definite door opener.

1. Vin Diesel - I know! Who am I? This is blatant, "insanely deep voice, look at those muscles, you're not even that attractive at all, but your muscles are so very big and large and I would just like to see what you would do to me," sexual attraction. (Whoah, did this just turn into that kind of blog? Oops.) In all seriousness, (because this IS a very serious topic here) skip forward to about the 2:03 mark to witness the precise moment my infatuation with Dominic Toretto began. And here is the pic too. Oh, and he might open your car door.

WOW! Right? No? Whatever, this is MY list. You go make your own list, then come back and post a comment so we can all judge each other.

Speaking of judging, the same wise friend who said I was growing up also poked fun at the likely fact that Snooki would be attracted to Dominic Toretto. (Because let's be honest, it's the character and the attitude that I adore. I know nothing of actual Vin D.) In my defense, I'm not typically attracted to the "juice head" stereotype and also, there are a lot worse things I could be compared to Snooki for doing in my day.

To further the judgment, I got my friend Kristen in on the act and we decided it was perfectly acceptable to each have a "Cougar Bonus," not included in our five.

Mine is Zac Efron. What? Judge away.

More Adventures in Walks

2011-05-09T07:00:00.013-04:00

You might think a walk is a walk, but not in my neighborhood. After Friday's walking shenanigans I couldn't imagine Saturday could be as adventurous but it was.

First of all, I saw a bunny hopping in the distance. As we neared, a man in his yard said, "Bunny, are you out again?" He crouched down low and began to stalk the white and black fur-ball which I then noticed was wearing a pink collar. What? "Is that your rabbit?" I asked. He noticed me for the first time and let me know that No, it was his neighbors rabbit and this was the second time it had gotten out today. ---WHAT does this mean? Do people really put collars on their bunny's? How is this rodent so crafty that it keeps escaping from inside a house? The man wasn't worried about any of this, just me keeping my puppy away. Yeah, like that's thats the biggest problem with this scenario.

From there we happened upon a 150 pound Bernese Mountain dog in the school yard field. It's owner wanted to greet us and before long my boy was tackling her beast of a dog. I love the big gentle giant breeds so it was win win all around.

Next up, we passed through the Navy's stadium parking lot where there was a private party inside. It seemed the entertainment was warming up outside as a violinist was playing a few notes by his car. Bru has an endearing way of turning his head to listen intently and the violinist was immediately smitten. He sat down directly in front of the man and stared with undivided attention while the man played a whole song for us. The violinist said Bru made his day. The musician was obviously pleased when he discovered my dogs name was Brubeck. Yes, my dog won me a private violin concert performance. What did your dog do for you today? (Just kidding, I know everyone has fabulous dogs and we all know our own is the best.)

Aside from the normal puppy chewing that is to be expected, there is only one problem with Brubeck. I wanted a dog that was nice, but looked a little intimidating for protection. He has a big boy bark already, but people are just drawn to him. He is not intimidating at all. I swear two people at puppy school have said to their annoying dogs, "Why can't you be more like Brubeck?" (I am not making this up.) Everywhere I go people comment on his "sweet face." Maybe that happens to everyone when their dog is still a puppy, but I genuinely think we've got an extraordinary dog here.

Hanging with Older People

2011-05-08T16:17:00.000-04:00

Saturday had a way of surprising me with it's unexpected ups and downs as days with uncertain plans often do. I have two ailing Grandmother's and on this particular day, the one who normally is not in the best of mental states cheered me right up from my very hard visit with the first. There was karaoke at the Mother's Day lunch we attended at her assisted living. She was all about singing Patsy Clines "Crazy," well after the party ended. But only the part where she says, "I'm crazy." Grandma thought the louder the better. The irony of the situation was obvious, but is it wrong to laugh? Sometimes you just go with it and be happy their happy and laugh at the sadness and mentally make note to go check your calendar when you get home to schedule a date when you plan to check out officially some 40-50 years from now. Dramatic? You have no idea.

On the bright side, upon getting back to Annapolis, I was chilling on the back porch with Bru enjoying a cold beer. (I know you think I only drink wine, but these days I only drink beer, it's weird, I know.)...(Unless I'm at an Assisted Living Mother's Day Brunch, then I drink cheap champagne out of a plastic cup.) Anyway, I've got my beer and my pup and my Whole Foods take out, and my tipsy neighbor peeks her head over the fence like Wilson in that "Home Improvement" show from the 90's and is all, "You HAVE to come to the party!"

I mean, I could see the party going on a few yards away and it did sound pretty fun, but so did sitting on my deck writing. She said the whole neighborhood was there including my mother in law and roomie. (They live right next door. I know, this sounds crazy, but they are REALLY chill and laid back.) I was a little nervous just barging on over because I hadn't RSVP'd and the average age of said party was about 60 and I'm....not. Tipsy neighbor said she was going to do the wave when she got back over there just for me. And she did. And everyone yelled, "HI JULIE!" So then I felt anti-social and bad, and a little creepy like I was spying on them even though I wasn't.

Eventually, my mother in law came home to feed her dogs and get me to go to the party with her. The first thing that happened was I was handed a shot. But not just any shot. A skinny girl margarita shot out of a shot-glass made of ice. Genius. Cold shots and you don't have to clean up the glasses afterwards. Love it. Then I realized these Baby Boomers were all wasted! Every single one of them. Next up, they came out with a whole casserole dish of lime with real mint jello-shots. Why do I always forget people older than me know how to party. (Seriously, click that link, it's one of my favorite nights ever.) I have a young pup at home and responsibilities and I'm a proper married lady now so I passed up this 2nd shot. Who am I kidding? I wanted a romantic night with Hubs and he was due home in about an hour so I didn't want to get wasted AND in front of my MIL at that!

So that is how I found myself at a Baby Boomer party of drunk characters I don't know on a Saturday night.

Silent Sunday

2011-05-08T08:00:00.010-04:00

Bru says, "FEEEEEED MEEE PEOPLE FOOOOD!!!!!!!!"

Go ahead and caption my words/thoughts yourself. This picture begs of it. While you're at it, caption Kristen too!

I seriously love the crazy look in his eye.

People outside on Fridays

2011-05-07T19:57:00.001-04:00

Remember a few months ago when I had a lot of time on my hands and I started/singing talking to myself? That's sort of happening right now, except I randomly talk and sing to Bru. Like, just now, I went upstairs to take out my contacts and I said, "BRB." (Let's not start on the fact that I do in fact say, brb instead of be right back.)

Yesterday, I needed to grab some laundry from the basement but I wasn't sure if I could trust Bru to stay out of trouble for that amount of time. "Can I trust you to be good while I go downstairs?" He turns his head very innocently at me. "I dooon't think I caaaaan. You look like trouble to meeeee-eeeee, " I sang. "You're going to eeeeeat myyy thiiiings." In young Brubeck's defense, he did not eat any of my things. This time.

We went for a long walk today and one of my favorite things about Annapolis is that people of all ages take their outdoor drinking seriously. Who needs an official happy hour location when you can have a glass of rose dripping with condensation on your screened in porch? That's what one elderly couple was doing. Another not quite elderly yet, but maybe in a few years couple, were doing a little --actually, I have no idea what they were doing aside from wandering around their front yard drinking gin and tonics and talking to me. For that matter, I don't know why I was in their front yard, but I was. Was I drinking? Was I drunk? Am I drunk right now?

On the way back from our walk, my four legged friend was starting to get distracted and not walk properly. I channelled my inner Cesar Millan and realized I needed to walk more assertively to be pack leader. I picked up the pace and Bru followed suit. I was feeling pretty confident, all hair blowing in the wind, sunny day, looking good in my yoga pants with my well behaved dog and smiling at the young couple walking past me, when a bug flew violently up my nose. I mean, when does that happen? I had to stop and snort and snot all over the place and basically fall off my high horse right in front of that cute couple. Guess who's tale was between their legs then.

In closing, I just took this picture of the puppy baby.

It's alright, but OMG, there is a giant spider about to attack him!...I thought when I looked at it. I jumped up in fear and peered over the coffee table and to my dismay realized the situation was far worse than originally thought. It was a giant beetle/scorpion! I didn't even know those existed in Maryland! It wasn't moving though. I squinted. It was a close call, but luckily it was just a piece of stuffing from the Bru's favorite goose. Phew!

A Night at the Dog Park

2011-05-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

Friday morning I got up at 5 a.m. to watch the Royal Wedding. (Crazy and uncharacteristic I know.) By noon, I was cranky and tired and longed for an old school Friday night where I would come home, eat Campbell's tomato soup for dinner and watch Indiana Jones II. Only one thing was standing in my way of a night on the couch. A certain rescue named Brubeck.

As you'll recall, we recently adopted this guy.

He is an absolute doll but requires serious play time in the evenings to keep him out of trouble. What to do? I had been considering the dog park but was nervous to go for the first time. Desperate for some chill time after, I decided to give it a go. As we approached the fence, I considered chickening out. Would the other dogs like Bru? Would they be nice to him? Would he make friends? What if Bru got into a fight? Worse yet, what if he started it and hurt somebody else?

Young Brubeck made the decision for me. He was so excited I couldn't turn away. As we entered through the two gates my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Immediately, an enormous husky came in for sniff. I nearly panicked as Bru tucked his tail between his legs and cowered. Oh dear. I tried to breath deeply and be a confident puppy Mom with a brave face and encourage my boy. "Go on fella! Go make friends," I said as the huskies Dad came to move him along.

Bru bee-lined it for a bench where two seventy plus men were sitting and leaped in between them. I scurried over, shooed him down and they just grumbled at my apology. I was a little taken back by this. Shouldn't people at the dog park, like dogs? From there, Bru made his way over to a young couple and sat at their feet. Well this was getting a little embarrassing. And pointless. He wasn't burning off any energy. Fortunately, this couple loved him.

Finally, a big Golden Retriever came up and pawed him. They hopped around a little. Then a super tall Doberman came in for a hello. Before I knew it, Brubeck was bounding through the huge fenced in field. It was around this time that I nearly passed out because apparently, I'd been holding my breath. A woman about my age asked me which one was mine. I pointed him out and it turned out he was running with her lab mix, and a pitbull mix and the doberman. I admitted this was our first time and I hoped he would do OK. She and another lady who had the only pup younger than mine just laughed and assured me the dogs love it and need it to behave and not eat your stuff at night.

Then Bru started to bark. Oh dear. The dogs were flying around the field. What should I do? Was he about to start trouble? Would my baby be hurt? He's only seven months. Is he scared?!?! The other dog Mom's just laughed and said he was fine. He was having a blast. And they were right. I chatted with the other Mom's and decided Bru was done when he first sat on the bench with the Husky Dad and then walked on over to another lady and rolled on his back so she would rub his belly. Charmer I tell you.

In other Brubeck adventures, he had his first date this weekend, AND went to a bar for the first time! In other words, I went to the Annapolis Food and Wine fest with friends and when we were done with that, the good people at Stanley and Joseph's didn't mind that Bru and Xena (my friend's Dog) were wrestling on the back patio.

Seriously, it looks like I photoshopped in those teeth, but I didn't.

My Girls and Me

What my kmart purchase says about me

2011-04-28T19:24:00.000-04:00

That's right. I was shopping at kmart for essentials on my lunch break. I do it routinely not because they always have exactly what I need unlike the trusty land of Target, but because it is one parking lot away from my office. I always leave annoyed but when the chick with (faded) hot pink hair on the end of her brassy bleached hair connected to her 1/2 inch dark brown roots commented on my dog chew toy, my $50.43 purchase said a lot about me. Let's take a look.

Lightbulbs : She's got a light out.

Mascara : She cares about her appearance. (and doesn't feel like going to sephora to get her favorite mascara.)

Fluffy Pink Flip Flop Style Slippers : What is the point of flip flop slippers, one might wonder? I too used to be infuriated by this concept. Then I got a house with a basement full of sweet hiding spots for killer wolf spiders. Hense the cozy summer slippers.

Aquify Contact Solution : Girl can't see well without aid.

Men's Boxer Briefs : She has a fellow she likes to keep in nice underwear...that she buys at kmart??? Ok, in my defense they were a steal at 4 for $10.49! You can't pass up that Fruit of a Loom.

Sturdy Stuffie Dog Toy with Squeaker : Girlfriends dog likes to chew things. She's a pushover because she voluntarily buys him things with annoying squeakers in them.

Two (2) packages of Goldfish Crackers : She needed a little crunch with her lunch and they were on sale. EVERYBODY needs a little crunch with their lunch!

So there you have it. That is how I blew $50.43 at kmart in a matter of 20 minutes on basically, nothing.

The much anticipated "Wedding Night Note Story"

2011-04-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

Wasn't it much anticipated? No. We'll here it is anyway.

I stressed for weeks about the seating chart at the wedding. It actually was not until the morning of the wedding that it was completed. The main problem was that one table was slightly secluded from the rest of the room. They could still see all the action, but I was afraid those people will feel like they were the black sheep. In the end, we decided everyone would understand and it was what it was. We still numbered the table as "Table 2" so they would feel good about having a high number.

Everyone was happily seated when before long someone at Table 2 pointed out their predicament. After sizing each other up, they in fact decided there was a reason they were quarantined from the rest and determined they must live up to their reputation. After getting to know one another they soon became rowdy and other guests took time to visit their table to see what was going on in the private VIP room. (Ok, maybe I'm pushing it.) Even though not everyone at Table 2 knew each other initially, by the end of the night they were great friends and got together to write Nat and me this story:

Once upon a time, under clear blue skies, Julie and Nat got married. Later that day..., they sat us all at Table 2. An unrealized mistake on their part for as it happened... Table 2 had ingested some bubbly liquid in Nat and Julie's honor which made them... Somewhat gassy. "Uh oh," said Pam, I think I may have over done the... Lipgloss. "Not to worry," said Kristi, "You can" ... "Just pretend you are Snookie and say 'Smoosh, Smoosh!' No one will know"... So the lipgloss debacle was over, but ... there was still the issue of *creamed corn to be settled. "Well, at least I'm looking fiiiiine," said Kurt. ...Kurt looked off into the sunset with his round eyes, beady and black with the accumulated knowledge of his endless life. "It's done," he said with an odd smile. "It's done." The End.

Kristen telling us a story has been written!

Laughing at our story.

What does it all mean? How did they turn it into a madlib style story when when they wrote it from scratch? We'll never know, but I love them all the more for it! Love you Table 2! You go down in Julie/Nat Wedding history!

(*we did NOT have creamed corn at our wedding for the record!!!)

Puppies Happen...

2011-04-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

Well, after agonizing and fretting for weeks, then falling for a very specific puppy, I took Nat to meet the young guy Saturday. It was on this dark and stormy morning in Alexandria, Virginia, that the dog formally known as Binky darted across the room and fell at Nat's feet. Nat didn't stand a chance against this fine fella's charm. Content with his fate, Binky settled in for the car ride and listened while the names such as Miles and Cannonball were nixed and he became Brubeck.

Please meet my 7 month, 45 pound Great Pyrenees/Yellow Lab mix rescue. He's got a little hound in him and maybe even a bit of Rottweiler and Husky. His life started in South Carolina and he's been shuffled from road side, to shelter to foster to doggie day care and now resides in a quaint neighborhood in Annapolis, Maryland with us.

Handsome Brubeck

He is an absolute doll! As mellow and low key as he can be. While he enjoys bones and digging, eating and napping, squeaky toys and walks, he's also down with jazz, lunching with the ladies and shopping! Ok, well as long as it's petsmart. Everyone falls for this sweet, soft face.

In other news, I guess I lied in my last blog because I promised the hilarious wedding Night Note story and failed to produce as I got carried away with caring for Bru, but I will get it as soon as possible from my bestie who has it securely fixed to her refrigerator!

The Doggie Cycle is Real

2011-04-14T21:46:00.000-04:00

(Disclaimer: This post makes me cry so skip if you're not in the mood and I promise to post the Wedding Night Note Story this weekend! You'll laugh and stop being annoyed at me for being ridiculous I promise!)

Some might think it is ridiculous to stress to get a dog or not as much as I have. I know it's not a baby, but it's a huge commitment and I take it seriously. Just as seriously as I my freedom to randomly take day trips or occasionally stay up until 4 a.m. with my friends taking Night Notes and sleeping until noon. If we're going to be one hundred percent honest a big part of it is the doggie cycle. It starts with that first dog. When he dies your heart breaks and you keep expecting him to come around the corner and he doesn't. To heal your aching soul, you distract yourself with another. And then 55 years from now you find yourself dogless and can't get a new dog because you're going to die soon and you'll outlive this next dog and he'll wonder why you left him like Bear wondered in Sweet Home Alabama when Reese Witherspoon moved to NYC and he just didn't know what he did wrong.

Yes, I'm a complete nut job. Or just someone who loves dogs so much I'm terrified of the loss. In my life, I have outlived two amazing Great Pyrenees dogs. Holding back on getting another dog protects me from that pain again. However, we are approved to adopt the dog I fell in love with last weekend. All that needs to happen is for Nat to meet him and fall in love too, which I'm terrified of happening. I switch from ecstatically excited to sick with nerves on our pending decision. Non animal lovers will find this to be a silly and ridiculous post but I'd like to hear from some readers. Advice. Thoughts? Pro/Cons I hadn't considered.

Two years ago I wrote this after waking from a dream about my dog who died many years ago.

Soulful, brown eyes stared through the glass door at me with all the wisdom in the world. Four paws slowly carried his large frame a little closer. “Please don’t go,” I whispered as I slowly opened the door knowing he shouldn't really be there. My hand remembered the shape of the top of his furry head as I reached out to him and it felt exactly as it had six years ago and the thirteen years before that. I wrapped my arms around all hundred and twenty pounds of his body and he leaned into me as he always had. He was so warm. I buried my face into his snow-white fur and sobbed. His doggie smell was exactly the same.

I woke early this morning with tears streaming down my cheeks and the familiar smell of the family dog lost years ago fresh in my mind. I don’t recall ever having a dream so vivid…or out of nowhere. These early morning thoughts leave me remembering how hard it is to lose an animal and reluctant for the puppy we’ve been talking about.

Ok, Ok, let's lighten the mood a little. Enjoy one the best movies lines of recent times~

Who's Your Lobster?

2011-04-13T22:19:00.000-04:00

Monday in Annapolis, Maryland graced us with a temperature of 79 degrees. My foodie husband and our foodie friends decided to take advantage and grill out. These guys don't do anything the traditional way and it's standard procedure that when Nat and Kurt get in the kitchen, Kristi and I tend to drinking, watching chick flicks on the couch and discussing serious topics such as "should I get feather extensions?" (Answer: Yes, obviously.)

Like typical children bursting with energy on the first day of warm weather, Kristi and I tired of TV and obnoxiously saying "Guacamole,"but pronouncing it " ha-wuakamole" over and over again pretty quickly when it occurred to us that the boys had mentioned lobster. We peaked into the kitchen demanded the lobsters be set free!

Insert, "He's her lobster" jokes here.

I expected them to make a run for it, but they just kind of sat there. Fairly anti-climatic, but also low maintenance which gave me an idea. I told Nat maybe we could just have a Lobster for a pet instead of a dog just to see how we did. He wanted to eat our new prospective pet though.

Like I said, the husband-folk wanted to grill. There came a time when something had to be done. You can't just put a lobster on a grill. Kristi and I said our final goodbyes and darted back into the living room hiding under pillows and loudly singing "LA LA LA LA LA" while Kurt... took care of the situation.

How is it, that he's actually kind of cute?

It was not ideal and I did feel guilty about the whole thing. That lob definitely knew what was up and he thrashed his big claws once he was on the (ahem) chopping block, but Kurt took care of it as quickly as possible. Once I saw the lobster on the grill with corn, and then plated, I got over it. Lobster is delicious! Thanks little buddy!

Yay, brightly colored food. That means it's healthy, right?

Serving it up family style with pork tenderloin on a bed of shredded, sauteed, brussel sprouts.)

Looking a bit tired, post allergy attack and sans make-up with glasses but I still want to remember this night.

Normal: Hubs with his nose in a wine glass.
Not Normal: Chris is a ghost now? That's new.

To Expand or Not to Expand...

2011-04-12T09:58:00.002-04:00

Nat and I have been contemplating a dog for years. With the wedding and honeymoon behind us, now seems like it should be the perfect time. As one who is terrified to commitment however, I've started to get cold feet. Summer is coming. I won't be able to go to the beach all day with a dog. What if Nat and I argue about vacuuming?

About a week ago, I was on an early evening walk. We live in a nice neighborhood, so I was surprised to be heckled by some young teens. Said teens were recording themselves doing bike tricks, but turned their video my way when I walked past.  "Get down on your knees and work it girl," they yelled. Oh. My. God. Reeeally? As if that wasn't bad enough, I continued onto my house where a short while later they meandered on by to yell more sexually explicit things while I stood in my front yard talking to my mother in law.

Maybe it's time for a nice, intimidating dog. And a total lifestyle change. In my constant quest for inner peace and zen, I've decided if I'm going to be walking a dog I can probably quit the gym, but still do yoga once a week and hopefully keep everything in place. My friend April protested saying that I love the gym. I thought about it. I don't really love the gym anymore, I just go because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't!..(Ok, I guess I still love it a little bit too.)

We agreed to watch Nat's Mom's dogs overnight Sunday. They are little Cockerspaniel/Pomeranian mixes who are tons of fun and love us at his Mom's house. Piece of cake! It would be a great trial period for us right? The second his Mom left they proceeded to mope and look tragically depressed. I gave them a treat which they refused to eat, but proceeded to snarl at each other over.

I decided to leave the house to go to a doggie adoption event and allow the dogs to get used to our place. They stared longingly out the window at me utterly devastated at their abandonment. When I returned a short hour and half later, they were still peering out the window.  In the meantime,I had fallen in love with a perfect large dog at the adoption event, but these two were bringing me down. I let them outside and they just stood and stared. We came inside to take a nap and the bigger one barked the moment I drifted off to sleep. I could tell she did it on purpose.

In a final attempt to cheer them up, I decided to brave the streets and take them on a walk. They gleefully skipped along...back and forth tangling me up and getting their leashes under their legs because they wouldn't walk at the same pace.   When other dogs walked by, they lunged at them and then bit each other. I was mortified! I've been told the bigger one likes to poop for sport. (AND she had already gone in my yard), so after picking up after her twice, I was done. She continued to make attempts to squat but I tugged her along while she pretended to act miserable and the other walkers judged me for being a bad dog walker. She would then joyfully trot along on good behavior when nobody was around. They were still pretty bouncy when we got back to my house, but once inside, they tragically flopped their little bodies down and sighed big pathetic, "woe is me sighs" and looked pitifully at me from the top of their heads.

I tried yet again to rekindle that nap.  They barked to be put outside. Nat came home and they were happy to see him for a little while before returning to their tragic, sad state. When it was time for bed the little one tried to position herself between us. NOT going to happen. I said "No," and her little doggie eyes actually teared up and she proceeded to look heartbroken while Nat sided with her saying, she was just scared and unsure why she was at our house. I still took my spot next to him (because I'M the alpha female) and let her sleep down by my feet while the other suspiciously slept in the doorway. (And occasionally let out one sharp bark throughout the night.)

Maybe it was a fluke that those two were being so lame? Maybe it's a sign that we shouldn't get a dog? I'm still trying to decide to take that plunge or not...Thoughts?

Food Crime and Punishment

2011-04-07T14:03:00.001-04:00

(*Disclosure: If you're a first time reader, bathroom humour is something I do NOT consider to be funny ever, so bare with me here. I'm going to try to be as proper as possible.)

After kicking ass for a few weeks before the wedding I was feeling super fit. So fit, I felt I could slack on working out and eating right for the nine days Nat and I were in the Outer Banks. I put things in my body I wouldn't dream of consuming all in one week like oreos and french fries. (Don't get me wrong, I know how to splurge, but I splurged ALL week.) We snack on fruits and veggies on a regular basis and speaking of regular, when we got back...let's just say I wasn't.

I was feeling pretty bloated, soft and remorseful about my unhealthy week of eating when we got back from the honeymoon and when I realized that things weren't um,..getting out of my system, I started wondering how far my belly could continue to expand. (It seems there is no way around doing this post without typing the word "constipation" so let's get that out of the way. Back to the story.)

Not accustomed to such stop-ups, I figured eventually things would work out, but I decided to go for some Campbell's Bean with Bacon soup to help speed things along. That night, while perusing the plethora of book purchase possibilities at Borders, the time to hesitate was through. Much to my chagrin, I was forced to use their public bathroom. Approximately half a second too late I realized there was no toilet paper in my stall. I stared at the empty roll trying to manifest a new one. I considered the likelihood of someone walking in if I switched stalls before realizing it was my only option anyway. I bare-assed it into the next stall in perfect shimmy form. Miraculously nothing disastrously embarrassing happened.

The story could end there. Except I felt so much better. I felt lighter! I had so share my ordeal with Nat. The following exchange took place on our car ride home.

Julie: Hey Nat...
Nat: Yeah.
Julie: Have you ever, um, been constipated?
Nat: (looks at me weird.) Yes...why?
Julie: Well, I was. But now I'm not. I had to go in Borders while you were in the military section and I feel so much better and way happier now.
Nat: I could never do that in a public bathroom.
Julie: I HAD to. I had no choice. The time to hesitate? It was through!!!.....Do you think the romance is dead in our relationship?
Nat: No. We're good. (Makes reference to Cosby Show episode we saw the night prior where Cliff, Martin and Elvin have a romance competition.) ....Now if you told me to come in and look at it, THEN the romance would be dead.
Julie: (in absolute horror!) I would never do that! ...I don't even look at it myself!
Nat: (says nothing. initiates look that says a thousand words.)
Julie: ...What?

It takes a lot of work to be helpful...AND do it right

2011-04-06T10:51:00.000-04:00

After a few failed attempts at dropping off clothes at the local goodwill (it's a task that seems easy, but always takes me weeks to physically do after my clothes have been collected), I received a postcard in the mail from the Purple Heart Pick-Up stating they pick up unwanted items. From your house! It almost sounded too easy. I went online and scheduled for a pick-up to come this morning. They requested the bags be clearly marked. Wanting to make it as easy as possible on them, I tied my bags shut with pretty purple ribbon, found my purple sharpie and wrote, "PURPLE HEART, THANK YOU," and drew a purple heart in hopes that it would make them smile because I was so clever.

I left them on the front porch steps last night. For some reason I looked out the window after Nat got in and noticed they were by the trash. I thanked him for his attempted helpfulness, but told him they actually needed to be on the porch. He offered to go them right away, but he had just taken off his work clothes and felt so warm in bed I told him to get them later.

When I woke up at 7 a.m. they were gone. So was the trash that never gets picked-up until after 8 a.m. Nat said he had not remembered to go get the Purple Heart bags. F! Now, while I was upset that my donation of clothes, (some rather nice work clothes at that) had been thrown away, I was more upset about the Purple Heart peeps making a wasted trip and never trusting me again and getting black balled from their pick-up list for life. (I planned to use them exclusively.) My day was starting in Hate Spiral of unfortunate events. What to do. It was too late to cancel the pick-up.

That's when Nat said he had clothes to donate. Brilliant. In my half asleep daze, this would never have occurred to me. He quickly went through his closet while I showered and felt smug that this forced him to have to go through his clothes which I had wanted him to do for quite some time. When I left, the bag was on the porch. He just used a regular pen and he didn't use ribbon to tie the bag but he did write "Thank You."

And just like that, I loved my husband even more!

Silent Sunday, Honeymoon Highlights

2011-04-03T08:19:00.000-04:00

Five mile walk in Hatteras. I love a man in rolled up jeans on the beach. Especially when the man is my husband!

Is anyone else upset that there is a picture of a whole lobster on the Crock-Pot at our beach house? I feel that was in poor taste. We did use the crock, but NOT for a lobster!

OMG. Seven course wine paired meal. This was chilean sea bass if I recall correctly and one of the most amazing things I've ever consumed.

"Potted Berries" for desert in what else? A terra-cotta pot. I was in heaven. (Also, clearly I will never be a food photographer, but I blame part of my bad food photography on all the wine consumed. What you see on the table is just a tease of what they brought us!)

Ocean sunrises. Absolutely worth getting up early!

He only pretends he doesn't love me.

This is why I'm (not) Hot

2011-03-30T22:52:00.001-04:00

It's a proven fact that you get a better workout in when you're wearing cute workout clothes. Not only was I stoked to be wearing my new Nike's to the gym for the first time, but it seemed fitting that "Let's Dance" was playing on the radio when I was on the way to "Cardio Dance Party."

I've never purchased black gym shoes before, but it's always this huge ordeal finding the pair that feels good and looks cute, so I just gave up this time and bought the first pair that felt right. They happened to be jet black with neon green accents. Oh well.

Once changed, I discovered that my white ankle socks came looked really nerdy with my new black shoes. Which also clashed with my blue yoga pants. That I had somehow managed to pair with a grey, "Work Hard, Play Hard," tank. Oh, and I've got five extra pounds of honeymoon weight right on my thighs. (But more on that later.)

While I can rock out to some "Zumba," "Cardio Dance Party" is a lot more hip hop and a lot less Latin which seems to be my strong point when dancing. So, there I am in my dork clothes, flailing about trying "get that dirt off my shoulder" and this 50 year old woman with a perfect waist, luscious brown hair and rhythm in front of me is killing it! But not only that, she is invading my territory. I did my best to shoot "get out of my dance space daggers" at her in the mirror, but it's really not that effective in a get-up such as mine.

Let's take a look shall we?

This is really what I look like in the class. I swear I'm much better at Zumba.

Do you think my socks are sexy? Do they even sell black gym socks for girls?

Might look OK if it weren't for the sock factor. (Also, might not.)

10 things to know about honeymoons..

2011-03-24T23:22:00.000-04:00

...or mini-moons. Or life.

1. Going places during the "off" season is good. Who likes other people? NOT me.

2. If you're into good food, (but like, for real good food, "Apple Bees" and "Olive Garden"or ANY chain do not count) if the wine list isn't good, the food won't be either. Ie:, FROZEN veggies.

3. You can knock out a lot of good books and rack up a lot of good hours sleeping...and also, "sleeping." Happy.

4. If you have had a massage, and your husband-friend has not, you should be more clear on "they will massage everything" during your couples massage lest confusion/alarm may ensue. (IE, they WILL touch your bare butt, hee hee hee.)

5. When you finally find a respectable place to dine, and opt for the seven course wine paired dinner, do NOT choose to mention you are on your "honeymoon" after the fact. Otherwise, you may find yourself somehow with an impromptu complimentary champagne course when you have no business consuming anything for the next um...lot of hours.

6. Even if you have had like nineteen courses of wine and food, and put on all the clothes you packed, (ALL of them) going for a walk on windy beach with a glass of beer is still going to leave you chilled and running for cover even though you swore you wouldn't be cold at all.

7. That is all.

8. Yes. The million course wine meal is still in effect. I could post pics of the sunset on the sound or of the fab food pics I took, but I can't. All the steps, OMG the steps.

9. Also, million course wine meals are interesting after not drinking for 4 four months to assure looking good in the "big white dress."

10. Good night.

And the mini-moon starts...with a LIE!!!

2011-03-20T09:23:00.000-04:00

Before we get to how Nat LIED to me, I'll clarify how the term mini-moon came about and why it's actually a week long. We initially planned to take just a few days right after the wedding and go somewhere local. Mini-moon! We would take a more adventurous honeymoon in a few months. Then Nat's wine rep friend offered his Outer Banks house for us for a week for free. We both love the Outer Banks so it was perfect for us to do this now and take a year to decide where we want to go next. Added bonus? If we keep the name mini-moon, then we have our (ok, another) honeymoon to look forward to next February. Italy? Spain? Who knows! Decisions are hard. Anyway....

We left Annapolis at 2 o'clock yesterday hoping to beat the Hampton Roads traffic in Virginia. EPIC fail. Northern Virginia was a nightmare instead. We were so delayed at the beginning of our trip we made a romantic 45 minute honeymoon pit stop in Target to kill time. (You're supposed to make everything romantic on your honeymoon right?) Smart move because we then sailed into Norfolk, VA, and had a late dinner with Nat's Dad where I got to see the house where he grew up. The town was adorable and nothing like what I expected.

On the road again, we arrived in the Outer Banks around 11 p.m. Friday night. We checked out our new digs, opened a few beers and took a late night walk on the beach immediately. Crazy big moon shadows. Sometime around 2 a.m. Nat decided he wanted to get in the hot tub on the deck. I was exhausted. Having seen one too many horror movies, I was also not keen on the idea of Nat going alone. I made him PROMISE to not go while I was asleep.

When he came to bed around 6 a.m. ish, he said, "Man, I want to get the hot tub." While he brushed his teeth, it occurred to me that we might be able to watch a killer sunrise from the hot tub, so I got up to investigate. As I opened one of our many sliding glass doors, I realized the not only was the sun pretty much up, but the rug seemed suspiciously cold. Looking down I realized it just cold, it was wet! And were those water foot prints?

"YOU WENT IN THE HOT TUB!!!" I said as he lazily climbed in bed.

"What?" he replied.

"You did,... didn't you?"

"I don't know what your talking about."

"I was going to be all romantic and suggest we watch the sunrise and you already did."

"What's a hot tub?" (Note by this point he actually never once has said that he did not get in.)

"The rug by the door is wet. You LIED to me! You even pre-meditated a guilt trip and pretended you were waiting patiently for me!"

At this point he confessed his evil deed but also pointed out the fact that never actually said he didn't get in. He had thrown his bathing suit under a chair, wouldn't reveal where he had hidden his guilty wet towel and consciously not turned on the jets in efforts to never be found out! Eh, I think I'll keep him anyway.

Yesterday's morning walk.

Wedding Pic

2011-03-17T19:21:00.000-04:00

Just one for now! We're leaving tomorrow after work to go on our mini-moon and I've got to pack and eat some corned beef and cabbage tonight. More later!

Silent Sunday

2011-03-13T13:03:00.001-04:00

Coming out of the "post wedding depression...."

Life is good!

2011-03-12T09:45:00.000-05:00

I know you're just interested in official wedding photo's and that post should come in the next two weeks or so because I'm waiting for the good stuff for the BIG reveal.

However, life does go on and to be honest, it IS quite shocking. I didn't painstakingly plan lots of tiny details, but post wedding depression I've found is a real thing. For the most part, I'm busy giggling over saying "husband" and "remember that time we got married," and being stoked to come home and snuggle in bed watching The Cosby Show, (our new favorite past time) but I have definitely been overwhelmed by it just being over. Personally, I had been so excited to see everyone I love all in one room together for so long and it was so amazing that sometimes I wake up and just can't believe we already did it! I guess all brides experience this?

On the VERY bright side, we are leaving in a week for our "mini-moon." We decided to wait and take bigger honeymoon this time next year, but for now, we're headed south for a week of rest and relaxation.

Today's to do list, (we all know how I love lists!) includes, but is not limited to:

In other things to look forward to, there IS a Night Note from the wedding coming! No, I didn't take the time to write things down, but there was a table at our wedding called "Table 2" that will forever go down in history for various reasons. That story later!

Ok, Ok, here's another little mini-preview-tease. Please note the KILLER shoes!

Hee hee. Bride tank and robe! What?!?

Remember I mentioned the amazing sun we had that day? I wasn't kidding!

Remember that time I got married?!?!

2011-03-03T19:53:00.000-05:00

"You're so calm you're making me nervous," my friend Kristi said as she curled my hair.

We were in the bridal suite casually chatting with my Mom, sister and two of my best friends whilst sipping champagne. The windows were open and the sun was shining in so brightly, it even seemed happy! Nat was sending up clementines for me to snack on and April was sending down wedding rings ect., to the room below. What was there to be nervous about?

I can't describe how brilliant the sun was as we met outside with our amazing photographer Jason for our "first look." The Antrim 1844 was full of fabulous photo ops and the only dilemma was which ones to use. We could see our friends starting to enter the main house and I guessed some others might be watching us from the rooms within. Let's just say Nat doesn't love having his photo taken but we had lots to talk about considering it was "go time" in less than an hour and Jason was so fun and casual, he made it easy!

Though I always cry or my mouth shakes violently as I try to smile walking down the aisle at the many weddings I've been in, I managed to keep it together at my own. Honestly, I was so ecstatic I probably would have skipped down that aisle had I had the sense to plan it out with my Dad! My best friends husband played the music, one of Nat's best friends married us and only 50 of our most closest friends and family that we both know attended. There was no one there that one of us didn't know and it was exactly like I imagined it never could be!

We laughed during the ceremony and fumbled over words. Danny broke into the Rhythm of Love by "The Plain White T's" as we walked back down the aisle and were immediately presented with champagne. There was no need for anyone to relocate yet as champagne and hors d'oeuvres immediately appeared in the room for everyone else. In what seemed like no time we were escorted to the main dining room for a six course dinner. We have eccentric tastes in food and at first we worried people wouldn't like it, but in the end decided to do it anyway because it was our wedding and we wanted to share what we love with everyone! We heard only compliments and no one appeared to leave hungry so it seems to have been a hit.

Nat and I agreed early in our planning that we wanted to have a sweetheart table and I'm so glad we did. We talked to each other, but found ourselves just watching everyone else in awe. What is it about watching the people you love all in one room getting to know each other? My cheeks hurt from smiling only halfway through the night!

After dinner we had another treat in mind. Not only is Nat a wine connoisseur, but so are many of our friends. We ventured downstairs to the wine cellar for wine samplings and cheese platters. It was dark, slightly chilly and super romantic. (The many, many layers of my dress kept me very warm though!)

Just like everyone said, the dream was quickly over. I still can't believe we did it! So many told us to just sit back and take it all in and we definitely did.

I'm waiting for official professional shots to post, but here is the tiniest of previews!

I cook...but don't tell anyone.

2011-02-23T21:00:00.000-05:00

Well friends, we are on the homestretch! Big white dress day is fast approaching. The favors are finished, the seats are settled and the hair is highlighted!

I know most of you enjoy coming here to read stories about a girl who is basically a hot mess and has to write things down on napkins so as not to forget the happenings of an evening out on the town. That's not going to change all together, but there's no hiding the fact that I've happily mellowed in the last year or so. I've deliberately spent more time devoted to my creative side and less time on hangover recovery and content is an understatement on how I feel about this.

On the topic of cooking, I do have some staples such as crock pot chicken, corned beef and cabbage, split pea and ham soup, southern comfort mashed sweet potatos, and a few others, but mostly since Nat and I don't usually get to eat dinner together, I call the local salad bar my dinner most night.

Last week, I impulse purchased Rachel Ray's magazine in hopes of finding some quick healthy meals and pretending to be a cute and proper wife type in the near future. (Which by no stretch of the imagination should you take that be mean I'll be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen ever!) I found this recipe and it looked so easy I couldn't resist trying it out straight away! Nat and I both loved it. Go ahead! Click the link. You won't be sorry.

Pork, Apple and Cheddar Meatballs (Oh, and I'm not suggesting this is or is not actually healthy)

Ok, domestic housewife stuff is over. I know why you all come here! Just to satisfy the need, please enjoy this undated, uncredited, sephia'd (to make it appear older than it really is) photo of our night time shenanigans! You're welcome.

Now, go ahead and caption it yourself since I'm not offering an explanation.

a lull in the action, until...

2011-02-21T10:30:00.000-05:00

In the last blog, I had gotten a little action from Nat. I really liked him, but the ideal of "self-preservation" was like my bible. I wasn't going to call him, but when he didn't call me, I wasn't going to mope about it either. We had just shared a fun kiss so their was no reason for the girls and I not to frequent Harry Browne's every weekend as per usual.

Sometime that summer Nat and I met up for drinks. There were other people there. After, he walked me to my car, shut the door and walked away. W.T.F.?!?! What had just happened? Were we officially in friend territory? Was he playing game? Oh, I can play a game! (Wait are we playing a game, or does he just not like me?)

I slipped into old habits, IE; seeing people I probably shouldn't have, but liked and had fun with, and I'm pretty sure Nat was doing the same/taking care of unfinished business himself. It was summer. Things in the summer should be light hearted right?

One night towards the end of August after the girls and I had been to HB's, Nat called me in the wee hours of the morning after he had left work. He wanted me to come over. In a risky move, I went downstairs to wait for him to pick me up. I really liked him and didn't want him to get the wrong impression but my want to spend time with him overruled. Much like "The Situation" puts his lady ~~friends~~ conquests in his pajamas, I was soon in Nat's and while there was significant kissing, the pajamas stayed on.  Thinking I had played my card right, I still almost wrote Nat off entirely when things did not progress yet again.

Was he just looking for sex? Did he think I was a tease? What was his deal? Having decided to not worry about boys at all for a while I hung out with my girls. Maybe still seeing "Casual Boy," on the side was keeping me from moving on. That's not to say we stopped going to HB's all together of course.  I wanted to stay on Nat's radar.

One night, Nat asked me to go to the movies with him later in the week. I said, "No." It was a scary movie and I really just didn't want to see it! (And besides, I couldn't have him thinking I would hang out with him only on his terms.) As we left that night, he called after me, "I'll see you Tuesday." I looked at my friend Chrissi and said, "Mark my words. I'm not going."

Tuesday came and Nat called and told me he was coming to get me. I truly had not planned on going out with him. Fortunately, he didn't take "No" for an answer. Standard dinner/movie date, but from that night on, we went out every night he had off, and I ended up back at his house every weekend.

A slow blooming romance it was, but it was perfectly "us." While I do think love at first sight is a great story I love that ours is not one. Our friends joke that we were both so into "the game" they don't know how we ever ended up together.   Fortunately, we did.

Continued Shenanigans - Julie and Kristen are Accosted!

2011-02-15T08:00:00.007-05:00

We left with Nat kissing me. Fireworks. Good stuff. But you know, I am a lady. That and, Kristen was sleeping on the couch next to us, so before long Nat and I innocently drifted off to sleep as well. When we awoke a short while later, Kristen and I realized we had to get ready to go to an afternoon party. On our barely two hours of sleep, when Nat asked us if we needed a ride home we said we were fine and could get home just fine.

I'll never be sure why we said that because as we walked out in the early morning sunlight we both looked at each other and suddenly remembered we didn't have a car. I only had our personal cab driver Momado's cell phone number and he worked nights so he wasn't answering. My roommates were hungover or sleeping or both so they didn't answer. Luckily, it was May and warm outside, so we walked a few blocks to a coffee shop to devise a plan. We sipped coffee and realized we needed to bake a cake, get ready and be 2 hours away in like 3 hours. Whoops. On the bright side, I'd finally kissed Nat!

Sidetracked as we were, we didn't notice Scuba Shawn diving in for the kill. Scuba Shawn was a late forties fellow who also hung out at HB's and was known for diving into everyone's conversations uninvited and repeatedly asking me out despite our twenty plus year age difference. We definitely had seen him the night before and it was very apparent by our day old eye make-up and same clothes we had not been home yet. With perfect stalker skill, he quickly had our sleep deprived brains admitting we were downtown without a ride home. In an attempt to be our knight in shining armour he suggested HE take us home.

"NO!!!" we both replied a little too quickly. He was not deterred.

"My neice is in town and needs friends. Let's go to the ballet. Here, put your number in my phone and I'll call you." -----Whaaaa?!?! I couldn't make that up if I tried. I was beyond trapped as I stared at his phone in horror. We ran into him frequently and not wanting to be rude or make things more awkward in the future I reluctantly typed in my number.

Fortunately, my cell finally rang and it was Momado telling us he was sending someone to get us! Rescued at last.

I did spend the next few months avoided calls from Scuba though. They would stop eventually when I started telling him I had plans with Nat...but again. It would be a few more months...

On the Topic of Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:10:00.000-05:00

I may be lucky in love now, but from the series I posted this fall on my dating history as you'll recall, it wasn't always so. Besides, I have been way too mushy the last few posts. You guys want to hear the tale of my most ridiculous drunken and awkward Valentines Day ever right? That's what I thought.

*Sidenote: Nat and I were discussing a topic of what could be a hilarious blog last night that we later deamed "too much info." On that note, I once wrote a little more g-rated version of this on the old myspace blog and decided I could be more forth telling on what all really happened this time around.*

I had just moved to Annapolis in January of 2004 and was living with Ramsay and Eli. The three of us had actually gone to High School together, but never knew each other well. Valentines Day fell on a Saturday that year and Ram was taking his girlfriend out. My friends Brandon and Becca were also single so we joined up with Eli and proceeded to consume alcohol. Lots of it. Becca and I were coming out of a love affair with Malibu Rum and into one with a nice bottle of Vodka. We downed shots like the effect would be the same. This is the night when I learned Rum and Vodka are not the same. The boys were drinking just as much as we were and I have vague memories of us all wandering around the house from room to room and having a grand old time. It was an interesting mix of new friendships and fun was in the air. We weren't drinking away our single sorrows, we just happened single, in our 20's, and it was Saturday night!

The four of us left in a cab for McGarvey's downtown alarmingly intoxicated. While Becca and Eli caught up from High School, (we all actually went to high school together) three friendly bar-goers offered to share their booth with Brandon and me. Two guys and a girl. It turned out, they grew up not too far from where we did so we instantly had something in common. They were so nice and kept buying us beers even before we ran out or had the opportunity to return the favor. Although, it was a little odd that the girl had her hand on my leg...

In our pregaming vodka haze we failed to realize we were fratenizing with swingers until they invited us back to their house after the round of shots they had just treated us to and simultaniously suggested I make out with the chick. Realizing they thought Brandon and I were together, I started inching his way in hopes he had a plan to escape. Not quickly enough though. Before I knew it, the girl started kissing me and I was suddenly in a slow motion time warp of how did my life get to this? My eyes were open and the bar was sort of spinning around me (not just because of the alchohol) and I wasn't sure how remove myself from the situation. I must have caught the confused look of Becca, or Eli, or maybe Brandon helped me out of the debacle in progress. Regardless, I think I was greeted by a "Were you just kissing that girl?" from one of them.

It was a hazy night. I'm fairly confident we did not gracefully extract ourselves from the situation, but rather slinked away from the table, hailed a cab and passed out in preperation for vicious hangovers never to discuss the night again. Well, until I decided to share it on my blog of course.

Night Notes did not exist yet back then, but nights like this are exactly the reason they do now.

Silent(ish) Sunday

2011-02-13T08:00:00.006-05:00

April and me in the early days of the beginning of the Harry Browne's era. We ventured to the home of some new friends just down the street from the bar and it ended up being one of the most interesting and favorite night's of mine ever in history! Nat was not quite on my radar just yet...

Nat and Julie, The Love Story, Pt 2.

2011-02-11T11:51:00.000-05:00

I left off at walking into Harry Browne's with April for the third time in one night and seeing Nat. He was behind the bar and friendly and cute, but I already knew HB's was going to be our new spot. I didn't want a repeat of the shenanigans from our last watering hole, so I kept him and everyone else at a distance for a while. (Ok, at least I was subtle about it and/or saw people who were not HB's regulars. Ahem.)

A few months went by and we got to know Nat a little bit. He was fun to joke around with and maybe even flirt with a little bit. Somewhere along the line the girls and I started hanging out after the bar closed. Nat and Patrick would drive us home and drop us off so we didn't have to pay for a cab. Entirely innocent.

I was starting to get curious though. He was fun. (And could make a mean dirty martini!) Late night drives home turned into joking text messages, running into each other on the street and hanging out before he headed into work. He was becoming more and more attractive as time passed. One night, Mel, April and I went to his house instead of home and a novel concept occurred to me. Maybe he was datable? Perhaps, I should go out with someone I was friends with. How did that work? Then again, why hadn't he made a move on me in 6 months?!?! I felt a little insulted! Or maybe I was in his friend category. This needed to be remedied immediately.

The next weekend after an unusually low key night at HB's, Kristen and I ventured back to Nat's. April was on her honeymoon, Mel was otherwise occupied and we were feeling a little lost without them. Sometime after watching movies until the wee hours in the morning, the sun was starting to rise and I got the distinct feeling Nat might have intentions to kiss me. An unfamiliar feeling of panic set it and I suddenly realized I really liked him! I would have to make sure NOT to kiss him under any circumstances!

Where this rationale came from I have no clue. I randomly looked away whenever he had an opening and when we went for an early morning sunrise walk down by the water, I wouldn't come near him so as to thwart his obvious mission. What was wrong with me?!?! I wanted to kiss him, but the fear of growing feelings was imminent.

Back in the house, I decided I was being silly. On the next opportunity, I would kiss him! Except, before I knew it, HE was kissing me. I suppose he had grown tired of my antics and took charge of the situation. And it was good. Very good.

But we didn't fall in love yet. In fact, it would be several months before we even kissed again...

Julie VS "Her Inner Monica"

2011-02-04T13:19:00.000-05:00

When I arrived home last night, there were three big packages on my doorstop. I brought them inside and stared at them. They were clearly gifts off of our bridal registry and I wanted to open them immediately. It was 6:30 and Nat would not be home until 10:30...four hours. Could I really wait that long?

I thought of Monica on Friends when she opened ALL the gifts without Chandler. That wasn't nice. Let's be honest. I had a pretty good idea what was in those boxes. I had glimpsed at the registry the day prior, but only because I was taking something off and adding something different. Swears! I did not however have ANY idea who the packages were from and honestly, that was just as exciting!

Maybe I could just open one box? After much consideration I sent the following text to Nat:

We got packages! Want me to open them to tell you what is inside so you don't have to wait in agony until you get home!?! (I also included a picture for emphasis to really spike his curiosity!)

When he did not respond immediately, I sent another:
I know I would not want anyone to be in suspenseful agony!

He did not respond. ON PURPOSE! When he got home hours later, with smug smile he said, "You didn't open them!" I tackled him and told him how hard it had been and how I had looked at those boxes a lot in the last four hours and we must open them straight way!!!

Place settings, wine glasses and decanters galore from his aunt and uncle! After I reveled in our new dishes and Nat happily inspected the wine stuff, we piled all the giant bubble wrap in the biggest box and jumped in it together! Clearly, just as much fun as our new house stuff!

Getting married is fun! I think everyone should do it!

Monica Opens The Gifts!

It wasn't a forgotten Night Note

2011-02-03T15:53:00.000-05:00

What seems like a long time ago, (because I had the flu for many, many days) there was a Night Note. And I never posted it. But alas, I am almost fully recovered, so we may now cover last Tuesday night.

Nat and I had a romantic dinner and briefly discussed our still not yet planned honeymoon. (It's so hard to decide! It hurts my brain.) Then we met up with Katie and Neman for beverages late night at Treaty of Paris. From there it was standard procedure in that Newman and I made fun of each other all night, followed by Nat and Newman reminising about old times, while Katie and I made fun of people who ask you questions and then turn away and don't listen to the answer. NOT a story for another day because its stupid and boring. Anyway, here are the Notes of the Night.

01/25/2011 Treaty of Paris

Newman: You're a both eye winker...also known as a blinker.
Julie: Finding Newman
Newman: myfaceisdrunk @ hotmess.com ***
Julie: That IS a hot mess

In other news, before I had fallen ill, I'd started the working on thesecond part of the tale of Nat and me. I'm not sure that it's all interesting or funny, but I'm working on it. It's coming.

*** I have no idea if that is a real website or not and refuse any to take any responsibility for anything that may happen if you go to it. Or email it or whatever.

Bride on a Boat, I'm on a BOAT!!!!

2011-01-26T15:10:00.002-05:00

After our pun filled round of "Pin the Junk on the Hunk," my girls and I headed to one of my favorite Annapolis bars. Level. Cucumber Collins, (best drink ever!) music, dancing, my girls and of course the Night Notes continued. There were free shots and drinks a plenty, but my amazing sister and maid of honor was blast who not only danced, made new friends and entertained all, also kept me hydrated and hangover free the next day.

Speaking of new friends, we met a great group who's ring leader was Norm. One of his lady friends bought me a drink because they were doing a scavenger hunt...or something. For some reason they liked us a lot and when they asked if we would like to go on their boat with them, I said, "Yes. I would very much like to go on your boat!"

Let's have a look at the Nights Notes with Photo's to see how the night unfolded shall we?

All: Don't stop till you get it up!

Julie: Who?!?!
Kristen: The original shotter.

Cheryl: I don't know. I couldn't look at them because they were looking at me.
Cheryl: Bride on a Boat!
Kristen: Heeeeeeey Norrrrm.... We're ready to go on the boat now Norrrrrmmmmm!!
Katie: We don't have flippy floppies, we have coaty woaties!

This is actually Kristen calling Norm. We're no fools. We obviously had security take us to the boat.

So there we all are on a boat.

"It's a quarter after one and I neeeeed you nowwwww!!!!!"

It was definitely a dance party. I have no idea why that one girl is wearing a murderer mask, but she seemed nice and like I said, we brought along security!

See? Security even has a black eye! That's how you know he's bad ass!

It was like 2 degrees outside. I was in denial. But more importantly, on a boat.

***OMG, forgive the terrible photo formatting. Blogger is NOT being user friendly today and formatting things how it pleases.

Bachelorette Night Notes!

2011-01-26T11:37:00.000-05:00

Saturday night marked the much anticipated bachelorette party portion of my wedding events! Words can't describe how fun the night was, but the Night Notes can! Please enjoy the game of "Pin the Junk on the Hunk" Night Note style with photo's.

Kristen: Are you picking penis's?
Erika: Mr. Inchly Wormster
Julie: Look! Jen has a firecrotch.

Vic: I greased my penis.

Jules: It looks really hard now! (no pun intended)
Vicki: Thats the penis story.

Cheryl: Is it on?
Jen: It's on. You're crossing swords.

Next up? The party leaves home for downtown Annapolis and here's here's a preview.

Kristen: Heeeey Norrrrm!!! We're ready to go on the boat now Norrrrrrm.

(For the record, we did not have any boat excursions booked for the evening, and we don't know any "Norm's"...)

Wedding Rings and Night Notes

2011-01-23T10:10:00.000-05:00

I am one who has never wanted a big wedding, nor the hassles and stresses of planning all the minor details of one. I don't believe I manifested trouble because I went into my planning stages very light-heartedly, but I had big issues with the only things I did have to plan initially including the venue, dress and shoes. The most important things! Well, the time to hesitate is through and my brain suddenly turned into a bride's brain and I'm experiencing what Kristen's mom calls "The Wedding Frenzy." I've got tons ideas and not a lot of time to make them happen. But I'm still going to! (That last sentence is a grammar enthusiasts nightmare!)

Nat and I went to pick up our wedding bands on Tuesday. I was so excited that I suggested we go out to dinner and wear them! (Don't even try to give me some that's bad luck nonsense, because I don't believe in that!) We had sushi and champagne at our favorite restaurant downtown and then met up with Katie and Newman for drinks. Funny things were said. Obviously. We like to make fun of each other.

Night Notes at Castle Bay

Newman: P does not love J and N.
Nat: I look really slim in this shirt in the changing mirror in the bathroom.
Katie: You can baby proof!
Julie: I can't even Julie-proof!

Spontaneous Trips South and Night Notes

2011-01-22T10:03:00.000-05:00

I bet you didn't know I was in Savannah last weekend! You couldn't have because I didn't even know it was going to happen. Mel, April and I realized there were big changes ahead of us and decided the time to hesitate was through. It was a long weekend so Mel and I hopped on a plane to Jacksonville to meet April and then drove immediately to Savannah, Georgia. We enjoyed massages, facials, shopping, Moroccan food, one shameful fried Moon Pie and brunch at Tybee Island before heading back to Jacksonville to attend to some very important business. And by that, I mean, wedding stuff for me.

I will get back to the love story that is Nat and Julie, but in the meantime, here are a few pictures and even a Night Note!

Mel

The face of Night Notes on Napkins (But don't I look evil and serene at the same time?! Weird!)

Apey staging the Night Note.

Speaking of the Night Note at The Distillery. Here it is. (My current sober notes in blue)

The Difference's Between April and Julie: Night Notes aren't always random things people say. Sometimes, they're crucial lists that need to be made known.

April likes Mariah Carrey.

Julie does not.

April likes Tyra Banks.

Julie does not.

Julie likes low fat veggie cream cheese.

April does not.

Ape likes Tosh. O. and I don't. But I extra like Joel McHale. (You have to pick one. You can't have it both ways. One or the other!)

Similarites:

NOT into samurai.

DO NOT like the creeper. (Bad James) <---Weeble Wobbler.

Ape- ~~Drunk~~ Designated Walker.

(Right, because the designated walker was not drunk.) (Apey really wasn't drunk. Clearly, somebody who was drunk made this note and then came back and corrected their error. Somebody probably named Julie.)

Mel: You can light a match around me.

Mel: I wouldn't stick my face in a vat of mayonnaise.

Julie: My face. It's dry.

Good John: I won't try to ruffee you like Bad James. aka "weeble wobler," aka "the creeper, " aka "won't bother you with the hand dryer." (Good John was a guy we met who reminded us in appearance of somebody we call "Bad V#&$." He turned out to be really cool and joined forces in disliking the guy to our other side and coined "Bad James." Both the bartender and Good John saw Bad James standing in front of the urinal asleep, peen out and "weeble wobbling." When he woke up, he could not figure out how to use the hand dryer, but denied help and decided to stare out it instead. Maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious to us and our new friends at the time.)

My girls at Tybee Island.

The End.

As promised, How I met Nat

2011-01-17T21:44:00.000-05:00

We know I kissed a lot frogs. So many, I may have been starting to become jaded. I didn't even tell you about the guy who tried to smoosh in my car, frat boy who lived with parents, the guy I really liked but knew I had to keep at arms length, or the guy who turned out to be married. (Actually, married guy might of tipped me over the edge.)

Our nights at the meat market known as O'Brien's were becoming tiresome. There were the same faces every weekend and I'd started making nice with the bouncers, which got awkward when two who were friends started calling me.

My boss took us to a nice lunch one day at Harry Browne's and told me I was wasting my time at those downtown places. I needed to hang out at a classier place like this one if I wanted to meet a boy worthwhile. I looked around at my surroundings and judged the place as stiff and probably too classy for me. Not to mention boring. None the less, I told him I would give it a shot. (No pun intended.) That Friday, April and I went to happy hour.

It was a stark contrast from our usual haunt. It was quiet. A few business men in their 40's chatted with us, but not in a creepy way. The bartender Patrick was totally chill and we had no idea he would quickly become our friend.

The business men told us while HB's was great for happy hour, if we wanted to meet some people our own age, come back around 11:30. We had a good feeling about this, so we went home had dinner and changed into our party clothes. It was only about 9, but we liked our new friends so we headed back to HB's had another drink and chatted with Patrick.

For some reason, we still felt the need to just see what was going on at O'Brien's. It was lame. For the third time that night we headed back into what had in a few hours become our regular spot. We were greeted by name. There were young guys in their twenties who were very interested in who we were and eager to buy us beverages.

There was also cute new bartender behind the bar...named Nat.

But more on that later. This is what we all looked like back in those early days of HB's. ;-)

The first of many Christmas celebrations to come at Harry Browne's.

One crazy night.

He wasn't my lobster yet, but he would be...

As one dress debacle is solved, another is born...

2011-01-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

Before we get carried away with a title like that, let me assure you, the dress is perfect! For the first time, it fits perfectly, and it is everything I hoped it would be.

After calming down a bit from Saturdays shenanigans, I called the bridal store on Monday and requested the dress be pressed before I arrived and that an overly floppy flower be remedied. I'm confident the lady thought I was crazy, but I was one mishap away from Bridezilla-town and needed to avoid getting on that bus. It was worth the probable judgement because when I saw the dress tonight it looked perfect! I held my breath as I was zipped in. And? Perfection! It looked exactly how I had envisioned it would six months ago when I picked it out.

Have I mentioned I have a weird tall girl complex? I am tall. I also enjoy heels. When I see girls taller than me, I feel a little stressed out. Almost like I put in a lot of effort to be tall and then failed. I know that is silly. The original shoes I picked were the most fabulous pair of five inch platforms I ever laid eyes on. They were beyond perfect for my dress...Aside from the fact that they made the hem hang awkwardly several inches from the ground. Not cool.

After much thought I decided to keep those shoes for picture purposes and wear hot red two inch heels from when I was in my friend Chrissi's wedding several years ago. I felt this was clever and would be a sweet gesture since they have been so happy together. Unfortunately, still too high. Now that the dress was not too big, or too small and I could walk with my hands free, it became apparent the dress was the perfect length for my exact height.

No problem. I'll just wear comfy slippers. Maybe even a sneaky funny animal pair.

This was a splendid idea for a good two hours. Then it dawned on me. I ALWAYS wear heels. I've been saying I'm 5 '10 for years. Most of Nat's friends have never even seen me without my beloved stilettos. They even joked that I slept in my heels and actually had Barbie feet that never lost their shape. And OMG all of my female friends and family are going to be wearing heels leaving me...shorter than them?!?! Oh, the horror!!!

But in all actuality, I'm ecstatic about the dress. Even if I will be short in it!

Night Notes on Napkins!

2011-01-11T08:30:00.001-05:00

I had what was supposed to be my final dress fitting on Saturday. It did not go well. My dress, which had started out significantly too large, was taken in too much leaving my chest with a muffin top. One thing led to another and on the way out I was gazing at a dress I thought maybe I should have instead.

Sensing my trepidation my Dad said to me, "Penny for your thoughts." This is when the tears threatening to spill over my lids flooded and I burst into sobs in the bridal shop. My mom was off making final arrangements for her dress so my Dad was left standing in the middle of yards and yards of white tulle, satin and lace trying to figure out how to console me as I hid my face in his shirt and I assure you sniffed and snotted all over him while dress consultants aplenty pretended not to notice the overly emotional bride to be.

You know what my Dad said? "So you might not have the right dress. You have the right guy don't you?" Just like that, everything was back in perspective.

I still may have hyperventilated my fears to Kristen a few hours later, but we got together, hashed it out and finished my wedding favors over several bottles of Cold Duck that evening. Cold Duck is like the female equivalent of Miller Lite. It's a tasty inexpensive sparkling wine that we adore. Between the talk with my Dad and Kristen, (and poor Newman who happened to call me before I talked to Kristen and got the slightly less hysterical version of my woes and told me I was only panicking because we are getting so close,) I am confident and excited to go get my dress Wednesday night!

Here's what people said Saturday night at Harry Browne's. (I'll include a little commentary. I think people like it.)

NIGHT NOTES ON NAPKINS

Kristen: We're ducked up. (The result of too much Cold Duck consumption.)

Ian: You've underestimated my sneakiness.

Ian: You're like a three headed, six-eyed monster of trust. (Kristen, Katie and me trying to stare down and influence Ian.)

Katie: Gravity happens. (Ian fell. On purpose. Probably.)

Julie: What happened?
Kristen: I laughed a little too hard. (Spilled beverage on Kristen's knee)

Ian: Julie? The one with the crazy finger? (Apparently, my fingers are extra bendy in some places. Apparently)

Eric: What the f@%$! That's some Blair Witch $#@t!! (Again, in regard to my fingers. I'm starting to get a complex here!)

Julie: I wonder if she feels threatened?
Katie: Well now she has the smelly girl and the #*$ girl. (Katie and me gossiping "Mean Girl" style in regard to insecure women who are easily intimidated. By us. )

Late Night Haiku Monday

2011-01-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

I was back at Sephora again on Sunday. Our relationship is getting serious. In one word, my visit was extensive. I told my color specialist there was no need to commit to any brand. Here's a Haiku to name only a few who came home with me.

Smashbox and Stila
Too Faced, Mars, Urban Decay,
Sephora, it's love.

I was told this product would change my life. Will report back later, but so far so good.

And tomorrow, we've got Night Notes AND the tale of my meltdown at my ~~final~~ dress fitting.

A Morning at Grandmere's

2011-01-09T10:32:00.001-05:00

I woke in a dark room this morning on an air mattress under a luxuriously warm *faux fur blanket. The familiar sound of a spoon tinkling against a delicate correlle tea cup was heard. I suspected the precise smell associated with this gentle noise was Earl Grey. Slightly orange-y with just a touch of cream and sugar.

I was at Grandmere's house. Twenty-some years have past since I have grown accustomed to waking to this sound first thing in the morning and it's comforting that some things never change. I reveled in my cozy blanket for twenty minutes before joining her in the kitchen.

"Did you look outside?" she asked.

A light dusting of snow covered her neighborhood. Her new kitty Quill sat perched on an end table intently eyeing the squirrels stealing treats from the bird feeder outside. The ground looked hard and frozen. As for the three of us? We were warm and happy inside.

*And by "faux," I probably mean real.

This Outfit, Better in Theory...

2011-01-06T22:34:00.000-05:00

One of the worst things in life is having an uncomfortable outfit day. (Seriously, in life!)

I composed this assemble a few weeks ago in my head but had yet to orchestrate it in real life until today. Checking myself out in the mirror this morning, I knew I looked good. Right?

And a closer look...

Unfortunately, only so long as I stood still. What I failed to factor in was the lace skirt trim to textured tight relationship. It is basically the equivalent of velcro. Moving at all resulted in this look:

I really didn't have time to produce a new outfit so I pulled and tugged on my creeping skirt all day long. On the bright side, this will still work as a fall or spring outfit sans tights.

No anti-climax this year...

2011-01-02T09:28:00.003-05:00

The turkey is consumed, the trees away and the ball as dropped. Normally, this time of year I am left feeling depressed that it is all over. The short days of winter will drag on and spring won't come soon enough.

You know what that feeling has been replaced with this year? OMG, I am getting married. Next month. That's right. Not only this year, but next month!

My official invites went out on Thursday and the next day people were telling me they received them! As much as I feel I have left to do, I don't feel a sense of panic, but a sense of excitement! (And not just about getting to wear the dress.)

Nat said to me yesterday out of the blue, "We're getting married this year." And it was the sweetest, most sincere moment.

My soon to be mother-in-law invited me over for some good-luck black eyed peas to start the new year right. It's a tradition my Mom always follows too. I really do feel like I am entering this year with a clean slate. My month of unemployment, which started out like this.

Ooops. Julie + Lot's of Vodka = This

ended like this. (Me back in touch with my creative and productive side.)

Custom made snuggie for sista!

I had really wanted to accomplish more in my time off, but I honestly thought I would be out of work for longer. I was really getting into the swing of things when a wonderful opportunity presented itself.

So here we are, with a new year, job, wardrobe, coffee addiction, motivation and soon to be husband upon us. What is left to say?

I finally took a picture on my new camera! Last nights crock pot dinner! Karma is in check all around. Let's do this thing 2011!

Camera Karma II

2011-01-01T08:00:00.001-05:00

You may remember this brief post from slightly over a year ago. Well, it's happening again. As much as I love my Canon camera, it is BIG and cumbersome and not for random nights out. I needed something tiny and cool. If I have learned anything from the ever influential Ashton Kutcher it's that the Nikon CoolPix camera is what I needed in my possession. For Christmas this year, that's just what I got!

The only problem is, I'm afraid to take that first shot. My sister was all, "Oh, you're doing that again? Just take a picture!" And risk ruining my camera karma?!?! Unheard of! I scoffed and and told her everybody knows about camera karma and you have to be very careful with that first shot. She's actually a very good photographer so maybe I'm being slightly superstitious, but I don't what to take any chances. So until further notice, here is me with my camera.

New Years to a New Tune...

2010-12-31T09:12:00.000-05:00

For the last few years, New Years Eve has been a big drunken night of shenanigans! I've loved it. My friends and I take it very seriously. Last year, I had a major meltdown the day before the NYE, cancelled my party, and then began to feel better and promptly hosted it anyway. (Doesn't everyone get the holiday blues though?)

This year has been ever changing with plans to visit my Grandmother, snow storms hindering such visits and me having random violent allergy attacks. In the end, I decided the big New Years to do, was not in the cards for me. I'm going to have a quiet evening in and see if it sets the tune for a relaxed and zen year for me.

How about a photo party of New Years Eve Past?

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

Happy New Year to all!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T06:00:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Happy Birthday to my Grandmother. She is an AMAZING and strong-willed woman, that I can't help but idolize! I am so lucky.

NIGHT NOTES!!!

2010-12-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't love a good Night Note on a Wednesday? I impromptu went to Kristen and Jud's last night after Kristen offered to pick up some make-up for me. I desperately needed to make a Sephora run, but even more desperately did not want to brave the mall three days before Christmas. Since she had the day off to go shopping, she offered to grab it for me. Is she not the best friend ever?

Well, about thirty seconds after I entered her house I found myself sipping a glass of wine and chilling on the couch. Oops. I stumbled home around 2:30 a.m. Here's what happened in between.

***Bonus. I rarely add commentary to the Night Notes, but I think we have some new readers, so just to ease you guys into the nonsense of a Night Note, I'll offer a little commentary (in blue) as best as I can. Though the beauty of it is that I have no idea about the last ones...***

NIGHT NOTES ON A WEDNESDAY

Jud: Our friends would break the shit out of some china.
(On how none of us have registered for china on our wedding registries.)

Jud: She's taking a half day.
Kristen: I'm taking a half day.
Julie:...which half?
(Jud and I didn't have to work in the morning. We were questioning Kristen's decision to drink more.)

Julie: I'm going to have a severe bout of anorexia now.
(Jud making fun of my second slice of pizza. There was no malice or actual harm done to my mental status based on his comment.)

Julie: No! If you guys were the same age, you would be a year older!!!
(It made sense in my head at the time...ish.)

Kristen: I feel like they should charge me extra.
Julie: No. But their suction...it's like nothing to them.
(This is classic Night Note material. We were talking about her getting the dog hair vacuumed out of her car. Get your minds out of the gutter!)

Julie: I was not formiddle with the pickadiddle.
(Um--yeah, I actually don't know.)

Julie: It doesn't work when I don't swallow.
(The SHOT I was taking. Again, get your minds out of the gutter. Also, if this wasn't followed by a "That's what she said," we missed an obvious one!)

Jud: Sorry Jules, we don't normally have prince-sy! (sai)
(It was probably really late at this point. I have no idea what this means. Kristen?)

Julie: Wasted on a Wednesday. (Yup.)

Ice Ice Baby...

2010-12-23T10:09:00.000-05:00

Smirnoff Icing. According to wikipedia, the rules are as follows:

Icing is a drinking game in which certain individuals or groups of individuals are required to drink a bottle of Smirnoff Ice... (while down on one knee) Participants are encouraged to come up with elaborate ways to present the Smirnoff Ice to their targets by hiding bottles in inconspicuous locations. Failure to drink, no matter the circumstance, results in the humiliation of the victim, and players are encouraged to mistreat those who refuse to play.

Ok, so those rules are kind of hilarious. I had not consumed a Smirnoff Ice since I was like 22 and all of a sudden this year this phenomenon of being "iced" started. From what I remembered, the ice wasn't good. The only thing you can do to avoid being iced, is to have a bottle on you at all times. This "blocks" the ice and requires the "icer" to drink both bottles.

Until Halloween, my friends had not been involved in icings. But it only takes one you know! Our friend Brianne took it to a whole new level and rocked out an amazing Smirnoff Ice costume. Someone cleverly iced her pretty much immediately.

She was a great sport. How can you not be with that kind of stealth presentation?

And around 4 a.m., either Kristen or myself was iced. I don't know the official rules on "sharing an icing," but it happened.

Smirnoff apparently denies any involvement with starting the game as a marketing ploy. I guess we will never know. On the bright side, while I won't be purchasing this drink to consume ever, I think changes have been made since my early twenties and it was not as awful as I remembered.

Baby it's cold inside...

2010-12-19T13:30:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to save money, Nat and I had the heat on to the bare minimum. Just enough to take the edge off and then I'd hide under an electric blanket. It really started when the light bulb to the television downstairs burnt out and we never replaced it. At this point, we moved the XBox (and netflix) into the bedroom and for the last month we have lived entirely there. With a space heater.

This has been very eye opening. In the past, we had decided a one bedroom apartment while excellent for saving money was not the way to go for fear we would annoy each other in such limited living quarters. We somehow ended up in a three bedroom house which is kind of silly for just us. After the whole basement flood debacle we determined a nice condo will be the way to go when we purchase. Camping in our bedroom for the last month has taught us that we could probably even tolerate each other in a studio even. (Well a studio with two bathrooms.)

Yesterday my parents were coming up and I decided 60 degrees in the whole house was not acceptable. It was then that the heat decided to stop working entirely. Fantastic. We pushed on and Mom and I addressed wedding invitations in the dining room with a snuggie and a space heater. Dad just chilled. (Pun intended.)

I woke this morning and the thermostat reads 50. And there is snow on the ground with the potential for more to fall from they sky. Bother. I'll be in the bedroom also known as the sauna if you need me. (Working on getting the heat fixed of course.)

Some people pray for babies. Mostly, I am the opposite of that. What I do pray for, is a puppy. Really, I want to kind of happen upon a puppy hiding under a car, or save it dramatically in a not too traumatic fashion for the little fella. I'm really on the lookout now because A.) it's cold and I need something to keep me warm when Nat is not around and B.) I'm about to have a proper job again which means a proper paycheck.

In conclusion, heat and puppies. Yes, we've wrapped this up nicely now haven't we? Oye.

Invites, Name Changes, and Googling Myself

2010-12-19T08:00:00.002-05:00

We are FAST approaching my pending nuptials. (For anyone keeping record, we are one month closer to the big white dress day and all systems are go! The closer we get, the least knocked-up I can possibly be, and the more likely my dress will still look awesome.) My parents came up today and we addressed official invites. O.M.G. It was just as stressful as I thought it would be but my Mom kept me calm. I'm not sure if I should wait until after Christmas and New Years to mail them. Will people lose them in the holiday chaos?

I do not like the term "B List." Unfortunately, we have a "B-List." It's just the way it is when you decide to have a small wedding, secure a location that only holds 50 people, and then realize your family is not as small as you thought. I hate to think of our friends getting an invite only a month before the wedding and them thinking we think they are "low budget" or would prefer for them to be "less publicized." And how do you pick who comes off the B-List first? Who we both know the most as a couple? At random from a hat? Who we have known the longest? Alphabetical? Send them all a "Test About Us" now and invite the highest scores?

For anyone planning a wedding I have only one piece of advice for you. Do not think that planning a 50 person wedding is ANY easier than planning one for 250 people. Do not think that planning ANY wedding is easier than ANYTHING IN LIFE.

How do you determine your married name? This has been stressing me out for my whole life. I like my last name. It is very... me. Although, it would be very fun and cute to be "Mrs. S." But then there is all that paper work that you have to do to change it all around. So maybe I'll legally just stay the same but recreationally answer to Julie S. If I become a successful writer soon, I'm going to have to make a choice. On that note, I googled myself. And something terrible happened. I was halfway through typing my name, and THIS is what popped up:

Are you kidding me? Who is Julie Moult? I don't want to be confused with her. People think she is an idiot! They do not like her. If I keep my current name, people might think I'm that idiot and just added a few more letters to my name. So, I might have to change it for that fact.

*Sidenote* I really am loving the wedding planning process... Sort of.

The Fashion Gods Heard Me!

2010-12-17T12:05:00.002-05:00

Well it appears as though I'll be coming out of my "early retirement" sooner than I thought. This is good and bad for various reasons.

Let's start with the clothes. As previously discussed, my current work clothes were crap. This is mostly due to the fact that my last place of employment was an ice box and my sole goal in attire was to stay warm while I sat on a heating pad when possible. Upon being offered my new job, I determined I had to do something about my wardrobe. One important thing I discovered about my soon to be new office? It is climate controlled!!! I'll be able to wear professional clothes again. You seriously can not imagine how miserable it is for a person who loves clothes as much as I do to be limited so much by temperature.

Kohl's is a store where I rarely shop. Oh, but did I on Wednesday. I found suits, and pencil skirts and sweaters with the backs cut out and replaced with lace. (Classy lace, not country lace!) I scored mega bonus points with the fellow because I presented him with super warm gloves, and now he loves me even more than he did. Kohl's is a silly place really. Everything was like one million percent off and my total savings amount was $198. Well over the amount I actually spent.

In addition to having new clothes, there are other pro's to having a job again. I have given up on giving up coffee. I think. I gave it up as a habit sometime shortly after starting the last job, partially because no one else drank it there. Also, I was feeling all self impotant like, "Oh I don't NEED coffee anymore. I am above that." But I missed it desperately the whole time. Sometime in my month of unemployment I picked up the habit again. And it is fantastic. I don't WANT to stop.

I'm looking forward to communicating with people who have personalities. I can't wait to have a sense of accomplishment again.

As for the bad. I was rather starting to enjoy my time off. It is just too weird and surreal to enjoy it at first but then you get into it. You organize, you write, you make your sister a custom snuggie (with "features") for Christmas, and you make curtains, and refurbish random furniture that was left at your house from previous tenants. You sing what you're doing and talk to yourself because no one else is home and you can. "I'm goooing down the staaaaaairs! I'm going to make bean with baaacon soup. Forrrrr. Myyy. LUUUNNNCH!!!" (Big theatrical ending on "lunch.")

I'll have to get up early. What is interesting is that I did not revert to a crazy up until 3 a.m. and sleep until noon schedule. Really, I only shifted about an hour, but I still find it fascinating that my body HATES getting up at 7:30 a.m., but happily rises at 8:30 a.m.

In the end, I'm looking forward to a new beginning. (And lot's of pretty clothes and delicious coffee.)

Clothes and Karma

2010-12-15T11:52:00.001-05:00

I adore girly stuff! Sky high heels, clothes and make-up make me incredibly happy. It has occurred to me recently that I have a superstitious and possibly unhealthy attachment/relationship to clothes. We just went over a brief history of my dating life in the last few weeks and I didn't mention that I had to have a new outfit for each date. Not just because it's what you do, but because I truly felt that karma from one bad date, might roll over to the next date and sabotage it! Almost like cheating. Therefore, new clothes for each guy. (I could wear the clothes after, just not on a new date.)

Sometimes, if you want to know the truth, I've been known to almost personify clothes. There was one shirt that I used to wear and without fail, the night would end in total debauchery every time! I eventually got rid of it after saying, "The SHIRT made me do it!" one to many times.

And don't get me started on the whole underwear thing. But for the record, in the past week, I did solve the "underwear under the wedding dress" dilemma and they are certainly not white!

Let's talk about work clothes. Does anybody remember this post? It's moderately humorous, but if you don't have time to read it, basically it covered the most extreme of adventures in my work history and ended with the hope that when I moved on from my (at the time) current job, it would be a smooth and "peaceful" transition. Ha! Well, let's just say that didn't happen. The good news is that when when people say things like, "Oh, it's a blessing in disguise," I can honestly say, there is no disguise. This is flat out the best thing that could have happened.

(Sidenote: You know how you look back at a job you hated at the time and you think to yourself, was it really that bad? You can't quite remember. This is the opposite of that. I look back at my most recent job and more and more things become apparent that were unacceptable.)

So here's the deal. My previous work clothes have bad work karma! The simple solution is to go out and buy all new clothes. Which would be all well and good if this had not officially become the fashion season from hell! (that was my attempt at a scary font, epic fail) All of my friends and I have bitched about how we've attempted shopping trips numerous times this fall for clothes and come back empty handed. (It's all plaid or neutrals!) Monday night I finished my Christmas shopping and actually found a couple of very cute items to start afresh. Not a total new wardrobe but some solid pieces to mix and match.

Where are you guys shopping this year? Is everyone having fashion, wardrobe trouble? Am I missing something?

Today's To Do List? Rid myself of all evil clothes...(and "sage" the rest again, just to be safe!)

The dating stories are over, but the sage cleanse begins...

2010-12-13T23:56:00.000-05:00

Oh, hi! Guess what? Dating stories are over. After many drafts and versions, I couldn't figure out a short version of "Seattle," so we are done with that. How about as a consolation gift I won't post a random Christmas list of all my wants that nobody cares about? In the near future I do plan to write about how I met Nat and how sickeningly in love I fell and how when people can't believe we only have a double bed I tell them we only sleep directly in the middle anyway, and wouldn't dream of a bigger bed because we like to cuddle and then they scoff and say, "Oh, just you wait, we used to be like that too." But I know we're not going to change because we've made it five years sleeping in the middle of the bed all snugly sweet and things aren't going to change. (And before you go getting on your high horse about "once you have kids," I'm one step ahead of you. We're not having kids.) Plus, I hippie sage cleansed the bed this weekend.

(If I were a comedian on stage I would be totally panicking right now because I have no idea where this blog is going, or what I'm writing about and I feel like I'm totally grasping at life trying to keep your attention.)

Ever since Nat and I moved to this house, I had planned to do a "sage cleanse." It basically entails burning a bundle of sage and smoking out every room in the house and saying things like, "I cleanse this room of any impurities, negativity, or anything that does not suit or support the people that live here." The ritual is to rid the house of all bad energy and keep it from inviting bad things in and I believed it would give me a clean slate. Now, I didn't sense any ghosts or anything like that going on, but felt a new and calmer vibe needed to be invited into our home. When I got to our (double) bed I invited lots of continued hot sex for the future! (It's important to make these rituals your own.)

The next day I felt motivated and my mind was much clearer. I focused on the tasks at hand all day. It may have just been that in my head, the night prior was symbolic of a new beginning for me and I couldn't let it down, or maybe the cleanse really worked.

In any event, I had an epiphany on how to make my wedding shoes work that are too tall for my dress. It came to me clear as day and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

Today, I finished my Christmas shopping AND I finally found clothes that make me happy. Has everyone else had a terrible time finding clothes this season? They are just awful this year and I LOVE clothes! I have a job interview this week and needed clothes with a fresh slate and not prior work karma associated with them.

The real comedian panic is setting in. This is me stepping away from the blog.

Saturday...

2010-12-11T16:55:00.000-05:00

I like Saturday updates. Here is where we stand.

1. The writing process of Seattle is not going well. I am no longer promising this story, but I'm trying.
2. Duo blogging should be coming soon.
3. The mouse has been captured. It is safe to enter the kitchen again.
4. I'm in domestic diva mode hardcore. I've completed sisters "Personalized Glamour Snuggie," with features and sewed pair of curtains for an oddly sized window in our bedroom.
5. Only gift cards to buy and a few gifts left to wrap for Christmas this year!
6. Am satisfied that Karma is in full effect.
7. BIG plans for the evening. The official sage cleanse for my house goes down. The energy is changing here starting tonight.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends to the full effect!!!

Of mice and cupcakes

2010-12-10T08:00:00.005-05:00

(I'm working on the final dating story now and debating if I really want to tell it or not. Until then, a short story.)

After a lovely Sunday afternoon at my friends Doug and Dana's house, I was sent home with two delicious chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter filling. The top was covered with chocolate icing and just a dollop of the peanut butter icing. Divine. I ate cupcake one for breakfast on Monday. Later that evening, the remaining cupcake was calling my name. As I approached the cupcake, I discovered the "dollop" was not longer there. I had my suspicions. I did. Nat doesn't particularly enjoy sweets. It was unlikely he consumed the small bit of icing while I had been out. My desire to devour the remaining cake beat out my fear. I enjoyed that sweet.

Yesterday, I entered the kitchen. A dark flash lunged from the counter to behind the oven, all four feet in the air, tail flailing behind. I stood frozen in fury. Why must there always be rodent issues wherever we move? (Last house it was the intolerable squirrels.) A sick feeling overcame me. That cupcake had rodent saliva and paws on it. Oh. My. God. I immediately googled "mouse disease." Then I saw something that said "fatal" and I decided that was scary and I had better not search further.

Our last in counter was him terrorizing me by appear on the top of the stove and then peering at me from below. My only hope is that he ventures to the other side of that adjoining wall where three frisky cats live. I'm now upstairs because while putting dishes away, he scampered right by my foot and disappeared under the sink. The most alarming part of this is that there is no gap whatsoever between our linoleum and sink. HOW did he do it. I watched him magically disappear like some crazy Harry Potter Platform 9 3/4 nonsense.

Night Note!

2010-12-09T08:00:00.002-05:00

I have plenty more dating stories, but I'm at a crossroads on where to end. A few of my close friends would like me to post the story of "Seattle S," but as I previously mentioned, (possibly only in my head though) I didn't want to write about anyone too serious or about heartbreak. But we will see. Until I decide, please enjoy Saturday Nights Night Note.

11/4/10 My House and Harry Browne's

Jason: Two Chips and a Dorito
Cindy: I Looove Jack Johnson.
Nat: If you can do that with arugula...
(These are actually written on my wall downstairs.)

Jud: Wedding juices were flowing.
Jason: FUCK FAIR!
Jud: Develop the resentment.
Jud: I love their love. I have to pack my car now.
Julie: Where are Jud and Kristen? They're loving Jack Johnson.
Spencer: You live in Bernie's house?!
Jason: I love Harry Browne's

This bed isn't big enough for the three of us...*Updated

2010-12-08T08:00:00.015-05:00

Have you ever experienced reverse beer goggles? It's a pleasant surprise. After a hard night of drinking at Cancun Cantina, (yes, again) I had met Dylan and a few nights later while I sat outside a restaurant waiting for him it occurred to me I was not sure what he looked like. But hot damn there was a hottie coming my way! I tried to divert my eyes but the guy was actually smiling at me! Could it be?

"Julie!" he said giving me a hug. I could hardly believe my luck. He was way hotter than I had remembered! Though he called me out on not recognizing him, he was laughing and didn't judge. We continued on to have a relaxed and fun date. I was left wondering what he thought of me when the date ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Not to worry as the next day he asked me to go out with all his friends the following weekend. His friends were visiting from New York and had never been to D.C. We spent a lovely yet chilly evening in the city and I was getting along very well with everyone. I liked this Dylan and he was looking like an attractive date to secure for my best friends upcoming wedding.

When we all got back to his house that night, I noticed he seemed to have an overabundance of couches. One of his friends questioned this and it turned out, the extra belonged to his ex-girlfriend and he was still trying to get her to pick it up. (Insert record player skip noises here.) Just how recently had they split? Further, they had lived together? I was quickly sidetracked from my concerns when he asked me to come outside with him while he walked the **dog. (The not very manly dog, I was starting to notice. Hmm.) That didn't matter after he finally kissed me outside under the stars and after such a great date. It was super late so I decided to just spend the night.

In the morning, I was awakened by growling and toe nails in my back. "Ariel! Stop it!" ---WHAT?!?! The dog was freaking named after a Disney princess, clearly not only belonged to this seemingly ever present so called "ex" and did not want me in their bed. "So how long has it been since you broke up with your girlfriend?" I wasn't sure what an acceptable answer was, but sensing my displeasure with the situation, "Ariel" was put outside. (And don't get me wrong, we all know I LOVE dogs, but this was just not going to work.)

I was unsure of Dylan, but I had fun with him. (and I really wanted a date for Sarah's wedding.) The next week things were looking up. He called and casually mentioned he was not looking forward to having to see the ex when they sorted out the couch situation that day. Nice! But then he did something almost deal breaking to a commitment-phobic girl such as myself. (Did I mention that I was finding I was absolutely terrified of relationships at this point in my life? In my head, I was really trying to see myself with this guy.) So what did he do? He gave me his work number!!! What the hell was I going to do with his work number?!?! For what reason would I need to call him there? I wailed to my friends in agony over what I was supposed to do with this information? Was I required to call him there and check in on a daily basis? I didn't know, but I did go to his house again. That damn dog still was a problem. Dylan was still fun. For the life of me I can not remember what we did on that date.

Then it was Easter. I spent the day with my family. I had only been seeing Dylan for a few weeks. We were on a daily phone call basis, but I surely wasn't going to bring him to meet the fam yet. Sitting on my couch that evening, my two male roommates looked at me in dismay hearing the end of my phone conversation with Dylan. "No. I'm not mad at you. I was just with my family all day." Another tidbit? He had definitely questioned my living situation and was clearly not comfortable with my having male roommates. (Though I was supposed to be comfortable with his girlfriends couch and bitter dog?!)

I discussed the matter with the boys. They called him a douche and said no guy should be starting a conversation with, "Are you mad at me?" less than a month in. I was really liking the idea of him though. He owned a house, had his act together, was nice looking and we did have fun together.

Again, all about the self preservation I waited for three days before calling Dylan again. I would give it one more shot. He didn't answer and he didn't call back.

Lesson Learned? Don't date boys who still have their ex's couches and dogs. Or suggest they call you at work. Or are whiny little bitches. Or just because you are looking for a date to Sarah's wedding.

**Update** Ariel was some sort of Beagel/Corgi mix. Not large, but sturdy you could say.

What was I thinking?

2010-12-07T08:00:00.005-05:00

Can we just post a great big disclaimer on this one? Just disclaimers all around. I don't even know.

Once upon a time, my girls and I found a classy bar. We liked it a lot. On our first excursion, I met Vinnie. He was...nice. But this place had promise. Looking back, it has occurred to me that we seemed to go to only one location until we wore it out and then we moved on. We had been frequenting the last bar for a solid year or so and there were no new faces so it was time to move on. I had a feeling I wanted to be careful with who I agreed to go out with at this place since everyone knew everyone and they all accepted us straight away. (Think Cheers.) So I kindly told Vinnie that I did not care to go out with him but I was sure I would see him again. Which I did over the next few months. He would ask me out every weekend and every weekend I would respectfully say no. It's not that he wasn't a nice enough fellow, perhaps just too aggressive? I like a challenge.

One night, when all my girls were unavailable, my roommate, his girlfriend and I headed to said bar. They lost interest after about an hour or so, but since I'd made friends with so many of the regulars there, I decided to stay. At the end of the night, I further decided to go to an "after party" with Vinnie. Aside from a lot of shots, I'm not sure what had gotten into me. I mixed and mingled until it was definitely time to go. Not playing close attention to what was going on, I was suddenly in a cab with Vinnie and he was suggesting we go back to my place. "No! We can't go back to my place!" I told him my roommates would judge me, but really I was finding I just wasn't that into him. I thought we were in the clear when he said he was "temporarily" living with his parents but then he suggested we go to a hotel. I was trying to work this out in my drunken head and rationalized I would just go to sleep when we got there.

Luckily, at 3 a.m. the hotel would not check us in. That didn't stop us from chatting up a teenaged/young twenties athletic team who were hanging out in the lobby area. I immediately broke into a british accent and told them I was a gymnast and had traveled here to train for the next olympics. Yeah, I don't even know, but they believed me and they loved it. Vinnie was looking at me in disbelief as I started discussing my love for the uneven bars and hatred of the balance beam. In my drunken british accent mind you.

I guess he was amused by my antics because 5 minutes, an elevator ride and a dark hotel hallway later he was kissing me and I was considering this prospect. The night had been fun, and he did have nice muscles. (Not as big at TJ's, but nice.) Suddenly, I snapped out of the fun moment grabbed his hand and said I was starving. We had coffee and such at a diner and chatted until it was almost bright outside.

My roommate definitely called me out of my late night shenanigans, but I think I told him he was crazy and just didn't remember me coming in earlier than I did because HE was drunk. Oops.

Lesson Learned: Go with your instinct. If it's not there, it's never going to be there.

Everybody comes off crazy sometimes. Even me.

2010-12-06T08:00:00.021-05:00

But it wasn't my fault. I swear. (*Disclaimer, it IS a long post. Bear with me, it's worth it...I hope.)

My new boss had a VIP box at the Redskins Stadium and had invited me to a game. I didn't (and still don't) care about football, but I did know this was an opportunity not to pass up. A box at a football stadium is kind of like being in someone's house with just the living room, dining room, and kitchen part. Except you don't know them, or the people in the house.

I met and was immediately smitten with Derek. He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome. We chatted and flirted a bit at the game and a few weeks later he stopped by the office. When he needed something he would always ask to speak to me and of course I was more than willing to help. On Valentine's Day when he asked what I was doing I replied, "Nothing." The truth was that I was actually still sort of seeing that "nice guy," and I did have plans, but I would worry about that later if Derek was hinting at something. He didn't ask.

When I switched jobs again, Derek tracked me down and continued to send me business. This is when we finally decided to go out. I fretted on what to wear. On our first date (which he picked me up in his BMW) he did confess that he had meant to ask me out for Valentine's Day but chickened out at the last moment. (Oh, and for the record, I finally stopped seeing "nice guy" by this point and I will neither confirm nor deny for how long I actually saw him, but he was absolutely lovely and I wish him nothing but love, happiness and success.) Now where was I? Oh yes. In the BMW. Date One, not much to tell.

Date Two, he met me at my office. Embarrassing start when two of my co-workers were spying from an upstairs window making a ton of racket. He called me out on it, and I claimed to have no idea what was going on. Do you know what else is awkward? When you go to the Japanese steakhouse with a guy you are trying to impress and you are at a table with people you don't know and it's suddenly somebody's birthday and you have to sing, and you are mortified because you don't even sing Happy Birthday well, so you lip-sync because it would be rude to the Birthday person to not wish them a good year and just when you think you are in the clear, the Chef starts throwing pieces of food at you because for some reason the Chef's think you like it even though everybody really hates that part, so there you are with your mouth hanging open desperately trying to catch flying pieces of shrimp and you know it's going to inevitably bounce off your face, which is already burning red from the singing debacle, and now it's going to have a huge grease spot as well if you're lucky because the alternative is that it's going to get stuck in your eye because there is no chance in hell you are ever going to gracefully catch the damn thing in your mouth, but the chef is going to keep saying "almost, almost" and throwing more and more pieces to further the spectacle you're making of yourself and just...don't go to the Japanese Steakhouse on a date...and maybe not ever.

We finally left there and somehow ended up at my elementary school playground. It was all very romantic and terribly cliche at the same time. Under the stars and leaning against some jungle gym apparatus, I finally got to know Derek a little better.** He had muscles too you know.

I may have come off cold after that or he may have been deterred by my living two hours away, but nothing happened. My favorite movie is was "Sweetest Thing" and I lived by their rule of "self-preservation" so I surely wasn't going to pursue him. There was a chance of a rekindle when I relocated to Annapolis. We were still doing business, but here is where things got tricky. In a marketing attempt our office held a raffle where each deal that a client sent to us was entered for a chance to win a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant conveniently located in our area. Derek had sent us two deals. His name was picked. "NOOOOOO," I groaned. "We CAN'T give it to him. He's going to think I rigged it. " Cindy said we could draw again just to see. His name was picked AGAIN. I'm pretty sure I threw a work tantrum of epic proportions but fair was fair and just like that time Rachel was wearing the wedding dress and answered the door to that blonde guy and scared the living hell out of him, I knew my fate was sealed. "That oughtta do it," I said and surely, never heard from Derek again.

Lesson Learned? Don't date people you do business with.

**PG guys! This isn't that sort of a blog! What kind of girl do you think I am?!

Random musings and what to look forward to..

2010-12-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

So the dating stories are not nearly over. Actually, the best is yet to come. We've barely broke ground and I've got some crazy ones coming up next week.

Following that, I'm going to be doing a little bit of duo-blogging. A good friend of mine, (and fellow blogger) has been so amused by my dating antics, he wants to call me out on some of my.... moments? adventures? I don't know what we should call them, but for the sake of being real I've decided to let him do it. Reliving my dating past has been therapeutic and eye opening. Maybe this will be as well.

And now here is a list of things on my mind/current gripes.

1. Where does the google analytics code go? I used to have it and now I can't make it work again. It's much better than the standard blogger stats.

2. Lack of a set schedule makes me less productive. I have so much time to do things, that I'll do them later, and then I run out of time.

3. I'm back on coffee again. New side effect? Paranoia.

4. I want to see karma in action NOW! (But I'm not worried at all. Karma is a bitch, ever present and that's why I love it!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

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