Sunday, July 14, 2013

It's like we just got married...

Nat and I have been married for two and half years now. When we first started dating, I got off of work at five and he went in at five. He was bar-tending and I was drinking so I saw him a lot. Throughout the years, his hours have drifted a little closer to mine, but he's always worked weekends,  and I've always boasted part of the reason why we get along so well is because I have most of my weeknights to myself.

Last week, Nat started his "fancy new job" as a wine rep. This means, he sells wine and works pretty close to normal business hours and has most weekends free. It also means we eat dinner together every night just like a real married couple! We can go to brunch on Sundays and I can give him "man-stuff" to do on the weekends such as, taking down light fixtures so I can spray-paint them, and rotating mattresses. I was a little fearful that by Thursday we would be sitting on the couch looking at each other like, "YOU again?" but so far, so good.

I have discovered just one downside. I no longer have time for my SSB.  Secret Single Behavior as first described in Sex in the City.  For example, if I want to eat a slice of watermelon, a few spoonfuls of peanut butter and an entire bowl of guacamole (hold the chips-just because) somebody's going to be there to give me the side eye.  If I don't want to dry my hair at night, but instead try the latest pinterest craze which will inevitable NOT leave me with the beach waves I desired in the morning and I'll have to straighten it anyway, hubs is going to see the unsightly million braids, or sock bun or headband roll around before bed while we hunker down on the couch debating the worth of the Garbage Pail sticker collection some crazy is trying to convince Chumlee and Rick to buy for thousands of dollars.
The ONE time the weird night-time hairdo translated to proper day hair. 
This morning while Nat was in the shower, I tried to Nair my legs while sitting half naked in my bathroom removing polish from my finger nails with the door open because all those chemicals smelled terrible. Of course this is the one time hubs showered more quickly than I anticipated. He walked by the open door,  took one look at me with my hair piled on top of my head, green cream all over my legs and an atrocious odor permeating into the hall and just kept going.

He is going to KNOW all my secrets. I mean, he knows I not so secretly watch Snooki and JWoww and will even deal with Chelsea Lately occasionally, but he has NO IDEA about my Breaking Amish obsession much less Sister Wives and The Vanilla Ice project! How am I going to keep up with all my trash television? Trash television is when I do my squats and crunches and lunges, ect., so this could actually be a huge problem.

In closing, I'm two and a half years into marriage and feeling like what newlyweds must have experienced in the 50's. I'll now be accepting your best marriage advice in regard to keeping my SSB!

Until then, Nat just went to Home Depot to get supplies for man-stuff, IE fixing the front porch steps, (I didn't even know he knew how to do that! What else is HE hiding?!?!) so I have to catch up on my squats and Sister Wives.

3 comments:

LL said...

SSB makes you fun. Unless you want to devolve into a frumpy old housewife with greasy lackluster hair, gain 114 lbs and go around all day in a filthy housecoat and fuzzy slippers.

HE needs to keep up his own SSB to remain interesting. Otherwise you'll end up throwing him over for a professional wrestler or you'll move to Pennsylvania and become Amish or something (so you can then BREAK from being Amish and star on the show).

There are all sorts of cascading failures that can happen in a relationship where you're no longer fun and interesting.

Eva Gallant said...

I know what you mean...for years I worked days and MR. Eva worked evenings; then he retired, and I changed jobs and was working 60+ hours each week. then I retired and all of a sudden I was home with him all the time. It's why I started blogging!

PorkStar said...

In regards to keeping your SSB, probably should give him some more often so as to soften the blow of the things he is yet to discover :)