When Hef and the original three split, I boycotted the new show staying loyal to my girls and scoffing at the gold digging twins and wannabe Crystal Harris. "TEAM HOLLY," I secretly rallied in my head. I truly believe with all my heart and soul she loved him.
Hef and Crystal split days before their wedding and Crystal was quickly replaced with new entertainment. Realizing her fame was ending and how replaceable she was, in a recent Howard Stern interview Crystal described an unfortunate sex life with her ex. Ungrateful bitch. I felt enraged. (No, really I did.) The following conversation occurred.
Julie: I loath that Crystal Harris.
Kristen: Yeah, she's an idiot.
Julie: NO class.
Kristen: Hef is a very rich and powerful man. You don't want to mess with him.
Julie: So ungrateful. You have your perks from Hef and you keep your mouth shut!
Kristen: ...Can you imagine sleeping with Hef?
Julie: .....I mean, I don't really want to. But it probably wouldn't be that bad.
Kristen: He's not bad looking.
Julie: He's not! He used to be really cute. Ohmygod I have a game.
Julie: Who would you rather sleep with? Ok. Hef or.... Cee Lo Green?
Julie: ME too. Ce Lo has very nice teeth, but he looks kind of sweaty.
Kristen: Hef or Bill Gates? One of the richest men on earth.
Julie:.....Hef. He's still cuter and seems like more fun.
Kristen: Me too.
Julie: Hef or Donald Trump.
Julie and Kristen: HEF!
Julie: Donald looks like he would have bad breath. Maybe I do want to sleep with Hef?
Kristen: Ha ha. We would have made awesome "Girls Next Door."
Julie: We would have. And we wouldn't have trash talked Hef when it was over!
I've set it before and I'll say it again. We are a huge asset to society.
|No disrespect is meant to Kendra. I lover her but clicked the wrong photo and Hubs said it was funny and better to put his pic than to keep a real Girl Next Door.|
In a recent crafting adventure, Kristen introduced me to Mod Podge. We were Mod Podging planets onto a chair when the following completely serious conversation occurred:
Julie: If I were a planet I would be Jupiter. Those rings are the best.
Kristen: So would I...but with diamond rings.
Julie: Yeah and a lot of moons too. Jupiter is a high maintenance bitch.
Kristen: I think the Mod Podge fumes are getting to us.