Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Trying to sort it all out

With the first truly hot days of summer upon us, I broke down and turned on the air conditioning after a long walk with Brubeck.  Sticky with sweat and physically and emotionally beat after my tear filled walk I took a cool soothing shower.  The air had kicked in by the time I got out and my muscles had relaxed. I felt comforted by the familiar relief. It reminded me of summers spent with my Mom while my sister was working or out with friends.We would swing by the Amish farm and pick up homemade ginger bread. She would take me to the library and being the odd kid that I was, I would often read books under my bed thinking my hideaway was most clever.  It was cool and dark while I read Sweet Valley and Babysitters Club books by the armful.   This weekend I wished I could go back to those more simple, innocent, carefree times if only for a few days when all was right with the world.

My beloved Grandmother passed away on May 27th.  After an impressive battle with numerous forms of cancer over the last decade, I'm searching for comfort in that she is at peace. She taught me more than I could ever share, and I love her more than words could ever fully express. She never stopped living life to the absolute fullest, teaching polka dance, crocheting elaborate blankets, helping me plan my wedding and being an inspiration to everyone she met. Family, her friends, my friends, even her doctors fell in love with her instantly. It seems the whole world should stop moving and morn this tremendous loss. I don't know how long it will feel take for me to stop feeling like the breath is repeatedly knocked out of me all day long and wondering how it is even possible that she is gone.  I do know I am so lucky to have had her as my Grandmother.



jill hamilton said...

hmm, well judging by this gorgeous tribute, she was lucky to have you as well.


TB said...

I'm so sorry you lost your grandmother, but it sounds like she lived a full life and left a very positive mark on this world.

PorkStar said...

Such a beautifully written post. So sorry to hear about your loss.

Colleen said...

I am so sorry.

I lost my Grandpa shortly after my wedding, and I felt the same way. he was an amazing man.


Anonymous said...

May she rest in peace.