Friday, June 24, 2011

AM I losing my mind?

My friend Jen and I have been trying to get our pups together for the once monthly "Yappy Hour" event downtown.   This week after we confirmed we could both go, she realized that she had to drop her boy off at boarding since she was going away in the morning but decided she would still go with me and Bru anyway.  Last night I noticed Bru's eye was a little red.  We decided it must be from swimming and we would keep our own eyes on his.  Morning time? He's fine.

I rushed in the door at 5:15 this evening exclaimed, "Let's go Bruby!!!!  We're going to Yappy hour! You're going to love it!"  He was really excited. We thought it was best to walk since I would be drinking and he can't drive.

Twenty minutes later we were there and I got in line for my beverage but Bru was being all weird and pawing at his face.  I told him to stop embarrassing me. He got distracted and mingled with an enormous Newfoundland for a bit.  We made our way through the crowd and this lady was all, "Oh, he's so sweet.  And look at that winky eye?" Everyone tells me he is so cute and while I was confused about the wink thing I figured she just had too much to drink already.  She seemed a little drunk.

I went inside to get some cash and that's when I really looked at Bru's face for the first time this evening. His eye was swollen almost shut! I completely panicked and started talking to him about how we had to leave immediately and I was SO sorry I hadn't noticed sooner.  A sweet man walked by and told me I had a good looking dog.  Near tears, I told him we had to go because he had an eye infection and I can't believe I hadn't noticed sooner.  The man seemed really concerned, (about me, not Bru) and assured me Bru would be ok. I started to cry.

Bru and I ran outside and I called Jen telling her she wasn't going to believe this.  She said not to worry and we kind of laughed since she had in fact made an emergency vet run with her guy this week too.  I tried to jog with Bru but it was like 85 degrees outside and I basically had to tug him along which is when I realized it was clearly a viral infection and he probably had a temperature and was bordering on having a seizure. (Obviously.) I called my mother in law to get the vets number to call on our walk home, but they would not see him until morning and had the audacity to say they could tell I was upset and if it seemed to get worse I could take him to the emergency vet. I mentally started writing the scathing letter I planned to send to them in my head.

My mother in law called a few minutes later and said to bring him by and she would take a look to see if she thought he could wait or not.  I felt relieved to have help in my fur-babies fate.  But what's that?  His face looked kind of back to normal.  In fact,  had I imagined it?  No, the other happy hour people were commenting.  Pat took one look at him and said it looked slightly pink but other than that he seemed fine.

Seriously. I have no idea how he went from total half shut swollen wonk eye, seriously illness dog to perfectly healthy two eyed dog in a matter of of 20 minutes.  My biggest concern now? What am I going to tell the vet now? I've already called them once, (ahem three other times) for random questions.  Clearly, I come off as a total nut job.

And this my friends, is only one of the reasons I could never have a real kid.



Saturday, June 18, 2011

Do these look like Mom pants?

After an overly successful shopping trip at good old Marshall's earlier this week, the following interaction occurred between the cashier and me.


Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Do you think it would be appropriate to get a green lantern for my 7 year old son?

Me: (looks around to see if she is really talking to me.) : Um,...what?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo:  Do you think it would be appropriate to take my son to see the movie "Green Lantern?"

Me: (Brief image of Ryan Reynolds all green runs through my mind. Becomes side tracked with thoughts of Ryan's wash board abs. Quickly jerks back to reality as ample bosom lady has stopped ringing up my items and is waiting for an answer. ) Oh...What is it rated?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: PG-13.

Me: And your son is 7?

Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Yes.

Me: (Wonders if this lady is serious. Why is she asking me parenting advice?  Start to question my purchases. Did I accidently buy Mom khakis? No, that's surely not it.  Is she just making small talk? Why didn't she just ask about the weather or tell me how non-mommy my khaki capris are like a normal person?  She's being so nice it would be bitchy to say it would probably be fine to take her son to see the movie in 6 years when he is 13 because isn't that what PG-13 means after all?  Realize I haven't said anything for an extended period of time. ) Well I'm sure it would be fine if you are going to be with him. Then if he has any questions you can discuss it with him afterwards. (There! That sounded very intelligent and reasonable. I feel pretty proud of my answer.)


Cashier with ample bosom adorned with tattoo: Yeah. That's true.


Me: Yeah. He'll be fine. Good luck!  (I have no idea what that movie is about.  )

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Deep Conversations with Julie and April

The following is an actual g-chat conversation between my best friend and me a few weeks ago where we discuss the complexities of making it big on the tails of the youtube hit, "Friday."  It's clear to me that we are a big asset to society...

April: I seriously need to work but have you seen this? Rebecca Black, Friday   It's ridic, hilar, and catchy

me : been knowing about that, SO catchy

April: i figured --I don't do the youtube thing but this is just so freaking funny

me: even though its SOOOO bad

April: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!

me:damn, but now its going to be in my head again

April:couldn't be worse, i wanted to share the torture

me: that video was mad drama like a month ago, there are just so many questions, ok, mostly just the one, why is she driving around with her 13 year old friends...in a car?

April: and which seat do I choose??

me: on a fridaaay, fridaaay,...after she ate her cereal?
ok, my other question is why is it so catchy when its SOOOOO bad...you know her parents spent a couple thousand for her to make the video? Oh, and that rap guy?

April: ......Because its Friday!!!!

me :oh right, it IS because its Friday

April: and really everyone does look forward to the weekend! so everyone can relate!

me: especially ON a Friday

April:  esp! she's had like 150 million views! ....I guess I've been like 5 tho

me: and I've been a couple as well. *hangs head in shame....maybe we can come up with somethign catchy

April: maybe we can, that everyone can relate to

me: so...Wednesday is out?

April: hump day?

me:"WTF Wednesday?" - it used to be a big deal until I got old and was no longer able to hang on Wednesdays, and "throw in the towel thursday" got real.

April: It can't be negative or pessimistic or it won't work, everyone looks forward to summer,or spring, flowers blooming,  the beach? Friday is every week tho,.....seriously every week people look forward to Friday. It can't be beat

me: what about....SATURDAY?!?! Saturday is WAY better than friday...unless you are hungover from Friday

April: Friday is all about the anticipation

me: thats where it gets tricky, you are right, there is NO anticipation for Saturday

April: by the time Saturday is here you're over it

me: people always be saying, "is it Friday yet?"

April: Okay I seriously need to do some work or I won't be able to leave!on FRIDAY! FRIDAY

me:not on FRIDAY? but you must leave early on Friday friday

April: ...maybe we can make an adult version

me: yeah, adult mostly just means alcohol prob,right?

April: I'm pretty sure they had alcohol...

me: they did? oh dear. how will we upstage them then?

April: i mean how do you "party" without alcohol

me: did they have the sex?

April: I didn't see sex

me: we'll the add sex!

April: leaving work early and sex --we got it!

me: oooooh, that IS it

"leaving early, early, early
going to have some sex"

same beat and everything!

(i feel a blog coming on.)

April: we have to stop I'm looking like a fool cracking up at my desk

me: ha ha ha, but it doesnt matter, we're about tomake it big!

April: not rofl but cuamd

me: wait...what is cuamd?

April: cracking up at my desk

me: ha ha ha, me too

April's new status message - MUST. DO. WORK! 10:30 AM

April:okay. don't talk to me or you might interrupt my working.

Friday, June 10, 2011

PIVOT!!!

Nat and I are getting rid of basically every big item we own.  The couches, the kitchen table, dressers, ect.  If you read the last post you can pretty much put the pieces together and guess that we're inheriting all of Grandmere's furniture. It's bittersweet obviously, but I'm trying to focus on the upgrade. The current project/distraction is moving everything out. This means posting things on craigslist to sell on the cheap and hope the people don't chop you up when they come to get them. 

It's hard to coordinate mine and Nat's schedules and well, my four legged friend isn't exactly intimidating just yet so he would be of no protection.  The first guy came this evening and I was sure right away I was going to get out alive and he wasn't going to steal all the rest of my things. We had great luck with the first dresser.  By the second we had chatted a little and I'd even sold him on the futon. The relocation of the long dresser proved to be tricky. It was a "pivot" situation.  I put on my best Ross from Friend's impersonation and was all  "Pivot, Pivot, PIVOT!!!" And the guy was like, "Turn, Turn, Turn!" Fortunately, we had much better luck than Ross and nobody got stuck or crushed, and the best part was that nobody got chopped up!

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around things and come to terms with life and death and all that.  In the not so far back on my mind, it's right there every minute of everyday.  The weekend plan is a day at the pool with my best friend. Sun, wine, vit d and a little down time are starting to warm my spirits just thinking about it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Trying to sort it all out

With the first truly hot days of summer upon us, I broke down and turned on the air conditioning after a long walk with Brubeck.  Sticky with sweat and physically and emotionally beat after my tear filled walk I took a cool soothing shower.  The air had kicked in by the time I got out and my muscles had relaxed. I felt comforted by the familiar relief. It reminded me of summers spent with my Mom while my sister was working or out with friends.We would swing by the Amish farm and pick up homemade ginger bread. She would take me to the library and being the odd kid that I was, I would often read books under my bed thinking my hideaway was most clever.  It was cool and dark while I read Sweet Valley and Babysitters Club books by the armful.   This weekend I wished I could go back to those more simple, innocent, carefree times if only for a few days when all was right with the world.

My beloved Grandmother passed away on May 27th.  After an impressive battle with numerous forms of cancer over the last decade, I'm searching for comfort in that she is at peace. She taught me more than I could ever share, and I love her more than words could ever fully express. She never stopped living life to the absolute fullest, teaching polka dance, crocheting elaborate blankets, helping me plan my wedding and being an inspiration to everyone she met. Family, her friends, my friends, even her doctors fell in love with her instantly. It seems the whole world should stop moving and morn this tremendous loss. I don't know how long it will feel take for me to stop feeling like the breath is repeatedly knocked out of me all day long and wondering how it is even possible that she is gone.  I do know I am so lucky to have had her as my Grandmother.

Grandmere