Wednesday, December 8, 2010

This bed isn't big enough for the three of us...*Updated

Have you ever experienced reverse beer goggles?  It's a pleasant surprise. After a hard night of drinking at Cancun Cantina, (yes, again) I had met Dylan and a few nights later while I sat outside a restaurant waiting for him it occurred to me I was not sure what he looked like. But hot damn there was a hottie coming my way! I tried to divert my eyes but the guy was actually smiling at me! Could it be?

"Julie!" he said giving me a hug.  I could hardly believe my luck.  He was way hotter than I had remembered! Though he called me out on not recognizing him, he was laughing and didn't judge. We continued on to have a relaxed and fun date. I was left wondering what he thought of me when the date ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Not to worry as the next day he asked me to go out with all his friends the following weekend.  His friends were visiting from New York and had never been to D.C.  We spent a lovely yet chilly evening in the city and I was getting along very well with everyone.  I liked this Dylan and he was looking like an attractive date to secure for my best friends upcoming wedding.

When we all got back to his house that night, I noticed he seemed to have an overabundance of couches.  One of his friends questioned this and it turned out, the extra belonged to his ex-girlfriend and he was still trying to get her to pick it up.  (Insert record player skip noises here.) Just how recently had they split? Further, they had lived together? I was quickly sidetracked from my concerns when he asked me to come outside with him while he walked the **dog. (The not very manly dog, I was starting to notice. Hmm.)  That didn't matter after he finally kissed me outside under the stars and after such a great date.  It was super late so I decided to just spend the night.

In the morning, I was awakened by growling and toe nails in my back. "Ariel! Stop it!" ---WHAT?!?! The dog was freaking named after a Disney princess, clearly not only belonged to this seemingly ever present so called "ex" and did not want me in their bed. "So how long has it been since you broke up with your girlfriend?" I wasn't sure what an acceptable answer was, but sensing my displeasure with the situation, "Ariel" was put outside.  (And don't get me wrong, we all know I LOVE dogs, but this was just not going to work.)

I was unsure of Dylan, but I had fun with him. (and I really wanted a date for Sarah's wedding.) The next week things were looking up. He called and casually mentioned he was not looking forward to having to see the ex when they sorted out the couch situation that day. Nice!  But then he did something almost deal breaking to a commitment-phobic girl such as myself. (Did I mention that I was finding I was absolutely terrified of relationships at this point in my life?  In my head, I was really trying to see myself with this guy.) So what did he do? He gave me his work number!!! What the hell was I going to do with his work number?!?! For what reason would I need to call him there? I wailed to my friends in agony over what I was supposed to do with this information? Was I required to call him there and check in on a daily basis? I didn't know, but I did go to his house again. That damn dog still was a problem.  Dylan was still fun. For the life of me I can not remember what we did on that date.

Then it was Easter.  I spent the day with my family.  I had only been seeing Dylan for a few weeks. We were on a daily phone call basis, but  I surely wasn't going to bring him to meet the fam yet.  Sitting on my couch that evening, my two male roommates looked at me in dismay hearing the end of my phone conversation with Dylan. "No. I'm not mad at you. I was just with my family all day." Another tidbit? He had definitely questioned my living situation and was clearly not comfortable with my having male roommates.  (Though I was supposed to be comfortable with his girlfriends couch and bitter dog?!)

I discussed the matter with the boys. They called him a douche and said no guy should be starting a conversation with, "Are you mad at me?" less than a month in. I was really liking the idea of him though. He owned a house, had his act together, was nice looking and we did have fun together.

Again, all about the self preservation I waited for three days before calling Dylan again. I would give it one more shot.  He didn't answer and he didn't call back.

Lesson Learned?  Don't date boys who still have their ex's couches and dogs. Or suggest they call you at work.  Or are whiny little bitches.  Or just because you are looking for a date to Sarah's wedding.

**Update** Ariel was some sort of Beagel/Corgi mix. Not large, but sturdy you could say.


asj said...

these are my new favorite posts to read.... LOVE 'em. What kind of dog was Ariel... and seriously, who names their dog Ariel...

Marlene said...

Lemme guess....Ariel was a freaking YORKIE!!!! RIGHT? Am I right?

jules said...

Ha ha. It wasn't a yorkie, but same coloring. As best as I can remember it was something along the lines of a nonspecific beagel/corgi mix. It was long , shortish and heavy and black and brown. I most remembered it did not like me! And like, all dogs like me.

The Lady Board said...

"Don't date boys who are whiny little bitches."

Never have truer words been spoken. :D

--Meredith :)

Anonymous said...

The girlfriend's couch and dog definitely seem like attachment issues. No doubt.

As for the corgi-beagle mix, the first word that comes to mind is Industrious. How lucky.