Monday, December 6, 2010

Everybody comes off crazy sometimes. Even me.

But it wasn't my fault. I swear. (*Disclaimer, it IS a long post. Bear with me, it's worth it...I hope.)

My new boss had a VIP box at the Redskins Stadium and had invited me to a game.  I didn't (and still don't) care about football, but I did know this was an opportunity not to pass up.  A box at a football stadium is kind of like being in someone's house with just the living room, dining room, and kitchen part. Except you don't know them, or the people in the house.

I met and was immediately smitten with Derek.  He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome.  We chatted and flirted a bit at the game and a few weeks later he stopped by the office.  When he needed something he would always ask to speak to me and of course I was more than willing to help.  On Valentine's Day when he asked what I was doing I replied, "Nothing." The truth was that I was actually still sort of seeing that "nice guy," and I did have plans, but I would worry about that later if Derek was hinting at something.  He didn't ask.

When I switched jobs again, Derek tracked me down and continued to send me business.  This is when we finally decided to go out.  I fretted on what to wear.  On our first date (which he picked me up in his BMW) he did confess that he had meant to ask me out for Valentine's Day but chickened out at the last moment. (Oh, and for the record, I finally stopped seeing "nice guy" by this point and I will neither confirm nor deny for how long I actually saw him, but he was absolutely lovely and I wish him nothing but love, happiness and success.) Now where was I? Oh yes. In the BMW.  Date One, not much to tell.

Date Two, he met me at my office.  Embarrassing start when two of my co-workers were spying from an upstairs window making a ton of racket.  He called me out on it, and I claimed to have no idea what was going on.  Do you know what else is awkward? When you go to the Japanese steakhouse with a guy you are trying to impress and you are at a table with people you don't know and it's suddenly somebody's birthday and you have to sing, and you are mortified because you don't even sing Happy Birthday well, so you lip-sync because it would be rude to the Birthday person to not wish them a good year and just when you think you are in the clear, the Chef starts throwing pieces of food at you because for some reason the Chef's think you like it even though everybody really hates that part, so there you are with your mouth hanging open desperately trying to catch flying pieces of shrimp and you know it's going to inevitably bounce off your face, which is already burning red from the singing debacle, and now it's going to have a huge grease spot as well if you're lucky because the alternative is that it's going to get stuck in your eye because there is no chance in hell you are ever going to gracefully catch the damn thing in your mouth, but the chef is going to keep saying "almost, almost" and throwing more and more pieces to further the spectacle you're making of yourself and just...don't go to the Japanese Steakhouse on a date...and maybe not ever.

We finally left there and somehow ended up at my elementary school playground.  It was all very romantic and terribly cliche at the same time. Under the stars and leaning against some jungle gym apparatus, I finally got to know Derek a little better.**  He had muscles too you know.

I may have come off cold after that or he may have been deterred by my living two hours away, but nothing happened.  My favorite movie is was "Sweetest Thing" and I lived by their rule of "self-preservation" so I surely wasn't going to pursue him.  There was a chance of a rekindle when I relocated to Annapolis. We were still doing business, but here is where things got tricky. In a marketing attempt our office held a raffle where each deal that a client sent to us was entered for a chance to win a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant conveniently located in our area.  Derek had sent us two deals.  His name was picked. "NOOOOOO," I groaned.  "We CAN'T  give it to him.  He's going to think I rigged it. " Cindy said we could draw again just to see.  His name was picked AGAIN. I'm pretty sure I threw a work tantrum of epic proportions but fair was fair and just like that time Rachel was wearing the wedding dress and answered the door to that blonde guy and scared the living hell out of him, I knew my fate was sealed.  "That oughtta do it," I said and surely, never heard from Derek again.

Lesson Learned? Don't date people you do business with. 

**PG guys! This isn't that sort of a blog! What kind of girl do you think I am?!


asj said...

haha love it... can't wait to hear about more "frogs" :)

Jeff said...

After a very long day at the office what better way to take 5 to relax than a Jules dating story. Ahhhh the sweet...errrrrr nightmarish memories of dating someone I worked with or did business with. I knew it...I should have written a dating book and I could have saved you Jules...LOL :-)

The Lady Board said...

Hahaha- love it.

Marlene said...

Whoa...I have never been to a restaurant where they throw food at ya! LOL!!! Now there is a local Japanese Hibachi restaurant here, and they do squirt water at ya from a squeezable Chef. (The water comes out his weewee).

Chapter Two said...

love story time

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

LOL I hate when they fling the shrimp at my face too, I don't even like shrimp and miss on purpose