Monday, December 13, 2010

The dating stories are over, but the sage cleanse begins...

Oh, hi! Guess what?  Dating stories are over.  After many drafts and versions, I couldn't figure out a short version of "Seattle," so we are done with that.  How about as a consolation gift I won't post a random Christmas list of all my wants that nobody cares about?  In the near future I do plan to write about how I met Nat and how sickeningly in love I fell and how when people can't believe we only have a double bed I tell them we only sleep directly in the middle anyway, and wouldn't dream of a bigger bed because we like to cuddle and then they scoff and say, "Oh, just you wait, we used to be like that too." But I know we're not going to change because we've made it five years sleeping in the middle of the bed all snugly sweet and things aren't going to change.  (And before you go getting on your high horse about "once you have kids," I'm one step ahead of you. We're not having kids.)  Plus, I hippie sage cleansed the bed this weekend.

(If I were a comedian on stage I would be totally panicking right now because I have no idea where this blog is going, or what I'm writing about and I feel like I'm totally grasping at life trying to keep your attention.)

Ever since Nat and I moved to this house, I had planned to do a "sage cleanse."  It basically entails burning a bundle of sage and smoking out every room in the house and saying things like, "I cleanse this room of any impurities, negativity, or anything that does not suit or support the people that live here." The ritual is to rid the house of all bad energy and keep it from inviting bad things in and I believed it would give me a clean slate.  Now, I didn't sense any ghosts or anything like that going on, but felt a new and calmer vibe needed to be invited into our home. When I got to our (double) bed I invited lots of continued hot sex for the future! (It's important to make these rituals your own.)

The next day I felt motivated and my mind was much clearer. I focused on the tasks at hand all day.  It may have just been that in my head, the night prior was symbolic of a new beginning for me and I couldn't let it down, or maybe the cleanse really worked.

In any event, I had an epiphany on how to make my wedding shoes work that are too tall for my dress.  It came to me clear as day and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

Today, I finished my Christmas shopping AND I finally found clothes that make me happy. Has everyone else had a terrible time finding clothes this season? They are just awful this year and I LOVE clothes!  I have a job interview this week and needed clothes with a fresh slate and not prior work karma associated with them.

The real comedian panic is setting in.  This is me stepping away from the blog.

10 comments:

Sandra said...

Yes, I'm quite certain 'continued hot sex' is the way to keep the ghosts away :)
You'll have to share your secret, after 9 years, there isn't too much continued hot sex, and I'm pretty sure I hear ghosts carrying chains around...laughing at me!

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Awww I can't wait to see pictures of you in your wedding dress! I bet it's pretty and small beds are really comfy, and so are big ones.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

Chrissi said...

My husband is sort of an insomniac, but when we're in bed together, we sleep in the middle too! That's 6 years of marriage, telling you it's okay, and it's not just you!

Renee said...

I do the sage thing pretty routinely, & it absolutely works. Maybe I'll have to try "continued hot sex" too!

Annah said...

Burning a bundle of sage eh? I should REALLY do this in my place. Hmmmm.

You're my XXX button holder this week! FYI.

alovelylittleworld said...

You're posts are hilarious! Love them

FreeFlying said...

I'm SO glad you commented on my blog because now I've found yours and I can already tell that I'm going to love it! I can't wait to read the back story!

Jennah Watters said...

Will and I slept in a double bed in college and I loved it because it was forced cuddling. Now we have a queen and it's a little sads. Kings are ridic, though. Whenever we get one in a hotel or something, I feel like I have to telephone him if we need to talk.

ellen abbott said...

thanks for visiting my blog and just to let you know, 34 years later me and mine still sleep in a double bed.

International Woman of Mystery said...

I totally want to hear the Nat story.

And so cute and sweet that you sleep in the double bed in the middle. I wish I could find a guy like that!

And what did you figure out to do with your shoes? No fun to tease and not tell!