Fresh out of my first long term relationship, I had a lot of making
out-up to do. Life was quickly changing for the better and I was meeting new people all the time. A new friend of mine introduced me to a fellow that was super cute and fun, but too young for her. I met Shawn at a bar with a bunch of her friends. We hit it off and decided to go out the next weekend. I was 21, still living at home and was a little anxious that the first fellow my parents were going to inevitably meet after three years had bleached blonde hair, tattoos on his neck and drove a souped up electric blue Honda civic. What can ya do? Fast and Furious was just out and I thought his car and tattoos were hot. Plus, he was super cute minus the fact that he was an inch shorter than me.
We went for Mexican a good hour drive away and began ordering margaritas. I was pretty innocent, new to the drinking scene and a little nervous about the quantity consumed after our swift drive there in the "fancy" car. (Ok, actually I might have also been dating a VERY sweet fellow already but wasn't ready for anything serious so I was concerned about having to explain an accident to him. Technically, I was not cheating though.) When it was time to leave his card was denied. This was a red flag, but I let it slide and paid the bill. Red Flag #2 was when I realized he was smuggling a margarita glass out in his oversized North Face jacket. I don't know how I let him get away with Red Flag #3 and let him convince me to partake in the stealing and place a glass in my purse.
But I did. Not only that, but I brought all my friends with me to the bonfire he invited me to the next night. I kind of wanted to show him off partially because he was really cute, but I think mostly I knew this would not be going anywhere but I wanted their opinion. He was on good behavior and didn't steal anything and I didn't have to pay for anything so there was that.
On date number three I met his Mom. We went to his house to watch movies. I was a little gun shy from trashy Mom's of relationships past and when she arrived home, refused to acknowledge me and picked a fight with him in front of me, I knew I was done. I would have gotten out of there sooner, but his little niece arrived to question "Uncle Shawn," on why every time she used the bathroom after him, the toilet was clogged. I laughed out loud. She cut her eyes, shook her neck and head with alarming nine year old skill and threatened to cut me. I did not return his calls.