Sunday, November 28, 2010

In the beginning...(ish)

I promised a dating story a day.  The hard part is to know where to begin.  I could start at the beginning, but I think it may be best to start with a disclaimer.  I dated a lot of people in my twenties.  Some good, some bad.  I don't condone all the things I did and for that, I'm keeping this lighthearted and I'm not going to get into actual relationships. Oh, and of course names will be changed.  Who KNOWS who may be linked up on my facebook and reading this.

Fresh out of my first long term relationship, I had a lot of makingout-up to do.  Life was quickly changing for the better and I was meeting new people all the time.  A new friend of mine introduced me to a fellow that was super cute and fun, but too young for her.  I met Shawn at a bar with a bunch of her friends. We hit it off and decided to go out the next weekend. I was 21, still living at home and was a little anxious that the first fellow my parents were going to inevitably meet after three years had bleached blonde hair, tattoos on his neck and drove a souped up electric blue Honda civic.  What can ya do? Fast and Furious was just out and I thought his car and tattoos were hot.  Plus, he was super cute minus the fact that he was an inch shorter than me.  

We went for Mexican a good hour drive away and began ordering margaritas.  I was pretty innocent, new to the drinking scene and a little nervous about the quantity consumed after our swift drive there in the "fancy" car.  (Ok, actually I might have also been dating a VERY sweet fellow already but wasn't ready for anything serious so I was concerned about having to explain an accident to him. Technically, I was not cheating though.) When it was time to leave his card was denied.  This was a red flag, but I let it slide and paid the bill.  Red Flag #2 was when I realized he was smuggling a margarita glass out in his oversized North Face jacket. I don't know how I let him get away with Red Flag #3 and let him convince me to partake in the stealing and place a glass in my purse.  

But I did.  Not only that, but I brought all my friends with me to the bonfire he invited me to the next night.  I kind of wanted to show him off partially because he was really cute, but I think mostly I knew this would not be going anywhere but I wanted their opinion.  He was on good behavior and didn't steal anything and I didn't have to pay for anything so there was that.  

On date number three I met his Mom.  We went to his house to watch movies.  I was a little gun shy from trashy Mom's of relationships past and when she arrived home, refused to acknowledge me and picked a fight with him in front of me, I knew I was done.  I would have gotten out of there sooner, but his little niece arrived to question "Uncle Shawn," on why every time she used the bathroom after him, the toilet was clogged. I laughed out loud.  She cut her eyes, shook her neck and head with alarming nine year old skill and threatened to cut me.  I did not return his calls. 

8 comments:

Mr. Condescending said...

I am such a girl for reading and enjoying this.

Brian Miller said...

oh man...yeah gotta watch those flags...makes for a rather funny story though...

Marlene said...

A real winner, there! Ha.

tattytiara said...

I almost admire his having the guts to bring a date home with that kind of family dynamic going on.

Jeff said...

Whew thank goodness I don't have any of those red flags attached to me :-)

asj said...

HILARIOUS.

The Leigh said...

OMG!!! I REMEMBER HIM!! I remember that bonfire too lol I dont think he was gone for good as fast as it seemed. I think there was a re-run with him in it...but it was short lived. Im dying laughing ahahahahahahha

jules said...

YES HE WAS!!!! There was NO rerun with Shawn I assure you! (I'm admitting to these things!)