Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Night Note Confession

I'm going to start this post with a visual.  This is me hanging my head in shame not only about the story in question, but the fact that I didn't admit to it a few months ago when it happened.  Partly, but not entirely due to the fact that the details are very fuzzy.  As was the Night Note. Between Kristen, Jud and myself, not one of us could write a proper sentence. This took place way too soon after the whole Snowbliterated incident.

The night started as many Annapolis nights do, with margaritas at El Torro Bravo.  From there, we headed on over to The Lounge.  It was to be one of Nat's last nights working there, and I want to say we consumed a bottle of bubbly and some vodka tonics before decided to visit Harry Browne's.  Except, we seem to have headed in the other direction because I have bleary memories of sitting at the Tsunami bar doing shots with the staff from El Torro Bravo.  Now, we have been known to socialize with plenty of bartenders and further fraternize until the point of actual friendship and most recently even to the point of blissful engagement, but all of those people spoke English.  Don't get me wrong,  a good time was had by all, but even in my drunken state it was a tad awkward when they kissed Kristen and me goodbye on our cheeks and said something along the lines of "Aye Mommy!"

So yeah, all that happened and some more before 2 a.m. when we decided to stumble back to my place.  But what's that?  A never before seen ivy patch just begging to have a photo shoot taken in it?  Well, who am I to deny an Ivy patch it's destiny in life?  Kristen and I stabbed our stilettos' into the brick wall housing the foliage and flung ourselves face first into that patch and began to dramatically roll around and pose in our most seductive of ways.  We knew these were going to be the best shots ever.  Jud was totally on board giving helpful guidance and suggestions for just the classy look we were aiming to achieve.

I could have sworn we were only involved in our shoot for a few minutes when a grouchy neighbor came out and rudely asked us to leave.  We weren't even going to protest because we were sure we had got the shot anyway when an unnerving sound was heard.  "Whoop, whoop!"  Uh, oh.  Telltale flashing lights were aimed in our direction and an officer of the law was fast approaching. (Like out of nowhere!)  I slinked off the wall, pulling ivy out of my hair and Kristen and Jud ever so gracefully did the same.

"Where are you guys going tonight?"
"We weres juss leaving now, right now, Sir," Jud agreeably said.
"Juss rights around that corner.  Lesh than a block away.  We'llsh goes straight insides officsherrr," I assured him.

We acted very sober and good citizen-y.  I don't believe Kristen said a word.

"Just go straight home." We nodded and told him to have a lovely night and said "Sir" several more times.  "And go inside," he called after us!  I think he may have been stifling a laugh though.

The moment we rounded the corner to my house (about 45 seconds later,) I spotted a couple of my neighbors chatting.  I picked up the speed and barreled down the street (past my house) towards them,  ecstatic to partake in a nice neighborly bonding session.  They were definitely pleased to have their gathering grow and I even offered them to come into my place for a nice quiet beer. When they both politely declined, we busied ourselves by wrestling with a random Jack Russell Terrier.

Eventually, we made it inside.  At least, we must have at some point.  Things are a bit sketchy, but the next thing I remember is Jud telling Kristen it was time go.  We weren't inside though.  We were sipping wine out of my favorite wine glasses overlooking the water at a park at the end of my street.  At 4 a.m.  Good thing the officer didn't come back.

I did NOT feel well the next day.  Or the next.  Kristen informed me that sixty seven Ivy Patch pictures had been taken.  That's right. Sixty seven.  And the Night Note?  Yup.  Not a single sentence was legible.

Now, I'm not saying Night Notes will be retired.  I will NEVER say that.  But this was an all time low to be taken seriously.  Nat and I have safely moved about a mile away, and I haven't consumed more than two (three max!) beverages in a sitting since.  This is a calmer, subdued Julie in the making.  I'll be taking more time for my artistic side in the future.


Eva Gallant said...

Glad to hear you are turning the corner. I was getting seriously concerned about you.

McGriddle Pants said...

Sounds vaguely familiar to many nights I've had before!! And I believe I too have had a "night shoot" in the ivy somewheres :)

Kristen said...

bah ha ha ha ha. We are so classy.

MrsDixon said...

Oh my gosh! This is so great! Nothing like a beautiful never before seen "ivy patch' to inspire a drunken photo shoot!

Barefoot Dreamer said...

I blame the ivy!!!!!

Christopher said...

I would blame the ivy too. That shit is subversive. I look forward to reading about you embracing your inner artist.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Disgraceful behaviour, missy. You'd never catch me getting rubberized on spirits then sassing some cops, like the time I was riding my bike home from the pub, three sheets to the wind, on a deserted sidewalk by a busy highway only to have cops stop me and say, "Do you know it's illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk, miss?" To which I snorted fitfully and said, "Do you expect me to ride on the ROAD with all those big scary CARS, officer? I AM WASTED!"

Turns out, riding your bike intoxicated isn't legal either. Fuckers gave me a ticket.

I'm proud of you.

Stephanie Faris said...


I drank a lot when I was younger...but I only got sick once. I know I had plenty of cruddy day-afters, though! I did find, as I got older, that water made a HUGE difference in how I felt the next day, since hangovers are basically caused by dehydration. When you get old like I am, all drinking does is make you sleepy! Or maybe that's just me.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Haha, I use to have nights like this!

Aaron Gray said...

The booty shot was my favorite. Watch out for those Mexican servers ... they're still loopy from the World Cup games.

buffalodick said...

Drunk is like the Twilight Zone sometimes...I know these things... Crap you wouldn't even think of sober, happens- and seems fairly normal at the time! You two looked like you had made it to the Magic Kingdom when you hit the ivy...