Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years to a New Tune...

For the last few years, New Years Eve has been a big drunken night of shenanigans!  I've loved it.  My friends and I take it very seriously.  Last year, I had a major meltdown the day before the NYE, cancelled my party, and then began to feel better and promptly hosted it anyway.  (Doesn't everyone get the holiday blues though?)

This year has been ever changing with plans to visit my Grandmother, snow storms hindering such visits and me having random violent allergy attacks.  In the end, I decided the big New Years to do, was not in the cards for me. I'm going to have a quiet evening in and see if it sets the tune for a relaxed and zen year for me.

How about a photo party of New Years Eve Past?

2006

2007

2008


2009

2010

Happy New Year to all!


Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Happy Birthday to my Grandmother.  She is an AMAZING and strong-willed woman, that I can't help but idolize!  I am so lucky.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

NIGHT NOTES!!!

Who doesn't love a good Night Note on a Wednesday?  I impromptu went to Kristen and Jud's last night after Kristen offered to pick up some make-up for me.  I desperately needed to make a Sephora run, but even more desperately did not want to brave the mall three days before Christmas.  Since she had the day off to go shopping, she offered to grab it for me.  Is she not the best friend ever?

Well, about thirty seconds after I entered her house I found myself sipping a glass of wine and chilling on the couch. Oops.  I stumbled home around 2:30 a.m.  Here's what happened in between.

***Bonus. I rarely add commentary to the Night Notes, but I think we have some new readers, so just to ease you guys into the nonsense of a Night Note, I'll offer a little commentary (in blue)  as best as I can.  Though the beauty of it is that I have no idea about the last ones...***

NIGHT NOTES ON A WEDNESDAY

Jud:  Our friends would break the shit out of some china.
(On how none of us have registered for china on our wedding registries.) 

Jud:  She's taking a half day.
Kristen:  I'm taking a half day.
Julie:...which half?
(Jud and I didn't have to work in the morning.  We were questioning Kristen's decision to drink more.)

Julie: I'm going to have a severe bout of anorexia now.
(Jud making fun of my second slice of pizza.  There was no malice or actual harm done to my mental status based on his comment.)


Julie:  No! If you guys were the same age, you would be a year older!!!
(It made sense in my head at the time...ish.)

Kristen: I feel like they should charge me extra.
Julie: No. But their suction...it's like nothing to them.
(This is classic Night Note material.  We were talking about her getting the dog hair vacuumed out of her car.  Get your minds out of the gutter!) 

Julie: I was not formiddle with the pickadiddle.
(Um--yeah, I actually don't know.)

Julie: It doesn't work when I don't swallow.
(The SHOT I was taking. Again, get your minds out of the gutter.  Also, if this wasn't followed by a "That's what she said," we missed an obvious one!) 

Jud: Sorry Jules, we don't normally have prince-sy! (sai)
(It was probably really late at this point. I have no idea what this means.  Kristen?)

Julie: Wasted on a Wednesday.  (Yup.)

Ice Ice Baby...

Smirnoff Icing.   According to wikipedia, the rules are as follows:

Icing is a drinking game in which certain individuals or groups of individuals are required to drink a bottle of Smirnoff Ice... (while down on one knee) Participants are encouraged to come up with elaborate ways to present the Smirnoff Ice to their targets by hiding bottles in inconspicuous locations. Failure to drink, no matter the circumstance, results in the humiliation of the victim, and players are encouraged to mistreat those who refuse to play. 


Ok, so those rules are kind of hilarious. I had not consumed a Smirnoff Ice since I was like 22 and all of a sudden this year this phenomenon of being "iced" started.  From what I remembered, the ice wasn't good.  The only thing you can do to avoid being iced, is to have a bottle on you at all times.  This "blocks" the ice and requires the "icer" to drink both bottles.


Until Halloween, my friends had not been involved in icings.  But it only takes one you know!  Our friend Brianne took it to a whole new level and rocked out an amazing Smirnoff Ice costume.  Someone cleverly iced her pretty much immediately.


She was a great sport.  How can you not be with that kind of stealth presentation?



And around 4 a.m.,  either Kristen or myself was iced.  I don't know the official rules on "sharing an icing," but it happened.




Smirnoff apparently denies any involvement with starting the game as a marketing ploy. I guess we will never know.  On the bright side, while I won't be purchasing this drink to consume ever,  I think changes have been made since my early twenties and it was not as awful as I remembered. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Baby it's cold inside...

In an attempt to save money, Nat and I had the heat on to the bare minimum.  Just enough to take the edge off and then I'd hide under an electric blanket.  It really started when the light bulb to the television downstairs burnt out and we never replaced it.  At this point, we moved the XBox (and netflix) into the bedroom and for the last month we have lived entirely there. With a space heater.

This has been very eye opening.  In the past, we had decided a one bedroom apartment while excellent for saving money was not the way to go for fear we would annoy each other in such limited living quarters.  We somehow ended up in a three bedroom house which is kind of silly for just us.  After the whole basement flood debacle we determined a nice condo will be the way to go when we purchase.  Camping in our bedroom for the last month has taught us that we could probably even tolerate each other in a studio even.  (Well a studio with two bathrooms.)

Yesterday my parents were coming up and I decided 60 degrees in the whole house was not acceptable. It was then that the heat decided to stop working entirely.  Fantastic.  We pushed on and Mom and I addressed wedding invitations in the dining room with a snuggie and a space heater.  Dad just chilled. (Pun intended.)

I woke this morning and the thermostat reads 50.  And there is snow on the ground with the potential for more to fall from they sky.  Bother.  I'll be in the bedroom also known as the sauna if you need me. (Working on getting the heat fixed of course.)

Some people pray for babies.  Mostly, I am the opposite of that. What I do pray for, is a puppy.  Really, I want to kind of happen upon a puppy hiding under a car, or save it dramatically in a not too traumatic fashion for the little fella. I'm really on the lookout now because A.) it's cold and I need something to keep me warm when Nat is not around and B.) I'm about to have a proper job again which means a proper paycheck.

In conclusion, heat and puppies.  Yes, we've wrapped this up nicely now haven't we? Oye.

Invites, Name Changes, and Googling Myself

We are FAST approaching my pending nuptials.  (For anyone keeping record, we are one month closer to the big white dress day and all systems are go! The closer we get, the least knocked-up I can possibly be, and the more likely my dress will still look awesome.) My parents came up today and we addressed official invites.  O.M.G. It was just as stressful as I thought it would be but my Mom kept me calm.  I'm not sure if I should wait until after Christmas and New Years to mail them. Will people lose them in the holiday chaos?

I do not like the term "B List."  Unfortunately, we have a "B-List." It's just the way it is when you decide to have a small wedding, secure a location that only holds 50 people, and then realize your family is not as small as you thought.  I hate to think of our friends getting an invite only a month before the wedding and them thinking we think they are "low budget" or would prefer for them to be "less publicized." And how do you pick who comes off the B-List first?  Who we both know the most as a couple? At random from a hat?  Who we have known the longest? Alphabetical? Send them all a "Test About Us" now and invite the highest scores?

For anyone planning a wedding I have only one piece of advice for you.  Do not think that planning a 50 person wedding is ANY easier than planning one for 250 people.  Do not think that planning ANY wedding is easier than ANYTHING IN LIFE.

How do you determine your married name?  This has been stressing me out for my whole life. I like my last name. It is very... me.  Although, it would be very fun and cute to be "Mrs. S." But then there is all that paper work that you have to do to change it all around. So maybe I'll legally just stay the same but recreationally answer to Julie S.  If I become a successful writer soon, I'm going to have to make a choice.  On that note, I googled myself. And something terrible happened. I was halfway through typing my name, and THIS is what popped up:



Are you kidding me?  Who is Julie Moult?  I don't want to be confused with her.  People think she is an idiot! They do not like her.  If I keep my current name, people might think I'm that idiot and just added a few more letters to my name.  So, I might have to change it for that fact.

*Sidenote* I really am loving the wedding planning process...  Sort of.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Fashion Gods Heard Me!

Well it appears as though I'll be coming out of my "early retirement" sooner than I thought. This is good and bad for various reasons.

Let's start with the clothes.  As previously discussed, my current work clothes were crap. This is mostly due to the fact that my last place of employment was an ice box and my sole goal in attire was to stay warm while I sat on a heating pad when possible.  Upon being offered my new job, I determined I had to do something about my wardrobe.  One important thing I discovered about my soon to be new office?  It is climate controlled!!! I'll be able to wear professional clothes again.  You seriously can not imagine how miserable it is for a person who loves clothes as much as I do to be limited so much by temperature.

Kohl's is a store where I rarely shop.  Oh, but did I on Wednesday.  I found suits, and pencil skirts and sweaters with the backs cut out and replaced with lace. (Classy lace, not country lace!)  I scored mega bonus points with the fellow because I presented him with super warm gloves, and now he loves me even more than he did.  Kohl's is a silly place really.  Everything was like one million percent off and my total savings amount was $198. Well over the amount I  actually spent.

In addition to having new clothes, there are other pro's to having a job again.  I have given up on giving up coffee.  I think.  I gave it up as a habit sometime shortly after starting the last job, partially because no one else drank it there.  Also, I was feeling all self impotant like, "Oh I don't NEED coffee anymore. I am above that."  But I missed it desperately the whole time.  Sometime in my month of unemployment I picked up the habit again.  And it is fantastic.  I don't WANT to stop.

I'm looking forward to communicating with people who have personalities.  I can't wait to have a sense of accomplishment again.

As for the bad.  I was rather starting to enjoy my time off.  It is just too weird and surreal to enjoy it at first but then you get into it.  You organize, you write, you make your sister a custom snuggie (with "features") for Christmas, and you make curtains, and refurbish random furniture that was left at your house from previous tenants.  You sing what you're doing and talk to yourself because no one else is home and you can. "I'm goooing down the staaaaaairs! I'm going to make bean with baaacon soup.  Forrrrr. Myyy. LUUUNNNCH!!!" (Big theatrical ending on "lunch.")

I'll have to get up early.  What is interesting is that I did not revert to a crazy up until 3 a.m. and sleep until noon schedule.  Really,  I only shifted about an hour, but I still find it fascinating that my body HATES getting up at 7:30 a.m., but happily rises at 8:30 a.m.

In the end, I'm looking forward to a new beginning.  (And lot's of pretty clothes and delicious coffee.)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Clothes and Karma

I adore girly stuff!  Sky high heels, clothes and make-up make me incredibly happy.  It has occurred to me recently that I have a superstitious and possibly unhealthy attachment/relationship to clothes.  We just went over a brief history of my dating life in the last few weeks and I didn't mention that I had to have a new outfit for each date.  Not just because it's what you do, but because I truly felt that karma from one bad date, might roll over to the next date and sabotage it! Almost like cheating. Therefore, new clothes for each guy.  (I could wear the clothes after, just not on a new date.)

Sometimes, if you want to know the truth, I've been known to almost personify clothes. There was one shirt that I used to wear and without fail, the night would end in total debauchery every time! I eventually got rid of it after saying, "The SHIRT made me do it!" one to many times.

And don't get me started on the whole underwear thing.  But for the record, in the past week, I did solve the "underwear under the wedding dress" dilemma and they are certainly not white!

Let's talk about work clothes.  Does anybody remember this post? It's moderately humorous, but if you don't have time to read it, basically it covered the most extreme of adventures in my work history and ended with the hope that when I moved on from my (at the time) current job,  it would be a smooth and "peaceful" transition.  Ha! Well, let's just say that didn't happen.  The good news is that when when people say things like, "Oh, it's a blessing in disguise," I can honestly say, there is no disguise.  This is flat out the best thing that could have happened.

(Sidenote:  You know how you look back at a job you hated at the time and you think to yourself, was it really that bad?  You can't quite remember.  This is the opposite of that.  I look back at my most recent job and more and more things become apparent that were unacceptable.)

So here's the deal.  My previous work clothes have bad work karma! The simple solution is to go out and buy all new clothes.  Which would be all well and good if this had not officially become the fashion season from hell! (that was my attempt at a scary font, epic fail)  All of my friends and I have bitched about how we've attempted shopping trips numerous times this fall for clothes and come back empty handed. (It's all plaid or neutrals!)  Monday night I finished my Christmas shopping and actually found a couple of very cute items to start afresh. Not a total new wardrobe but some solid pieces to mix and match.

Where are you guys shopping this year?  Is everyone having fashion, wardrobe trouble? Am I missing something?

Today's To Do List?  Rid myself of all evil clothes...(and "sage" the rest again, just to be safe!)

Monday, December 13, 2010

The dating stories are over, but the sage cleanse begins...

Oh, hi! Guess what?  Dating stories are over.  After many drafts and versions, I couldn't figure out a short version of "Seattle," so we are done with that.  How about as a consolation gift I won't post a random Christmas list of all my wants that nobody cares about?  In the near future I do plan to write about how I met Nat and how sickeningly in love I fell and how when people can't believe we only have a double bed I tell them we only sleep directly in the middle anyway, and wouldn't dream of a bigger bed because we like to cuddle and then they scoff and say, "Oh, just you wait, we used to be like that too." But I know we're not going to change because we've made it five years sleeping in the middle of the bed all snugly sweet and things aren't going to change.  (And before you go getting on your high horse about "once you have kids," I'm one step ahead of you. We're not having kids.)  Plus, I hippie sage cleansed the bed this weekend.

(If I were a comedian on stage I would be totally panicking right now because I have no idea where this blog is going, or what I'm writing about and I feel like I'm totally grasping at life trying to keep your attention.)

Ever since Nat and I moved to this house, I had planned to do a "sage cleanse."  It basically entails burning a bundle of sage and smoking out every room in the house and saying things like, "I cleanse this room of any impurities, negativity, or anything that does not suit or support the people that live here." The ritual is to rid the house of all bad energy and keep it from inviting bad things in and I believed it would give me a clean slate.  Now, I didn't sense any ghosts or anything like that going on, but felt a new and calmer vibe needed to be invited into our home. When I got to our (double) bed I invited lots of continued hot sex for the future! (It's important to make these rituals your own.)

The next day I felt motivated and my mind was much clearer. I focused on the tasks at hand all day.  It may have just been that in my head, the night prior was symbolic of a new beginning for me and I couldn't let it down, or maybe the cleanse really worked.

In any event, I had an epiphany on how to make my wedding shoes work that are too tall for my dress.  It came to me clear as day and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

Today, I finished my Christmas shopping AND I finally found clothes that make me happy. Has everyone else had a terrible time finding clothes this season? They are just awful this year and I LOVE clothes!  I have a job interview this week and needed clothes with a fresh slate and not prior work karma associated with them.

The real comedian panic is setting in.  This is me stepping away from the blog.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Saturday...

I like Saturday updates.  Here is where we stand.

1. The writing process of Seattle is not going well.  I am no longer promising this story, but I'm trying.
2.  Duo blogging should be coming soon.
3.  The mouse has been captured.  It is safe to enter the kitchen again.
4.  I'm in domestic diva mode hardcore.  I've completed sisters "Personalized Glamour Snuggie," with features and sewed pair of curtains for an oddly sized window in our bedroom.
5.  Only gift cards to buy and a few gifts left to wrap for Christmas this year!
6.  Am satisfied that Karma is in full effect.
7.  BIG plans for the evening.  The official sage cleanse for my house goes down.  The energy is changing here starting tonight.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends to the full effect!!!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Of mice and cupcakes

(I'm working on the final dating story now and debating if I really want to tell it or not. Until then, a short story.)

After a lovely Sunday afternoon at my friends Doug and Dana's house, I was sent home with two delicious chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter filling.  The top was covered with chocolate icing and just a dollop of the peanut butter icing.  Divine.  I ate cupcake one for breakfast on Monday.  Later that evening, the remaining cupcake was calling my name.  As I approached the cupcake, I discovered the "dollop" was not longer there.  I had my suspicions. I did. Nat doesn't particularly enjoy sweets.  It was unlikely he consumed the small bit of icing while I had been out.  My desire to devour the remaining cake beat out my fear.  I enjoyed that sweet.

Yesterday, I entered the kitchen.  A dark flash lunged from the counter to behind the oven, all four feet in the air, tail flailing behind. I stood frozen in fury. Why must there always be rodent issues wherever we move?  (Last house it was the intolerable squirrels.) A sick feeling overcame me.  That cupcake had rodent saliva and paws on it. Oh. My. God.  I immediately googled "mouse disease." Then I saw something that said "fatal" and I decided that was scary and I had better not search further.

Our last in counter was him terrorizing me by appear on the top of the stove and then peering at me from below.  My only hope is that he ventures to the other side of that adjoining wall where three frisky cats live.  I'm now upstairs because while putting dishes away, he scampered right by my foot and disappeared under the sink. The most alarming part of this is that there is no gap whatsoever between our linoleum and sink. HOW did he do it.  I watched him magically disappear like some crazy Harry Potter Platform 9 3/4 nonsense.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Night Note!

I have plenty more dating stories, but I'm at a crossroads on where to end.  A few of my close friends would like me to post the story of "Seattle S," but as I previously mentioned, (possibly only in my head though) I didn't want to write about anyone too serious or about heartbreak. But we will see.  Until I decide, please enjoy Saturday Nights Night Note.

11/4/10 My House and Harry Browne's

Jason: Two Chips and a Dorito
Cindy: I Looove Jack Johnson.
Nat: If you can do that with arugula...
(These are actually written on my wall downstairs.)

Jud: Wedding juices were flowing.
Jason: FUCK FAIR!
Jud: Develop the resentment.
Jud: I love their love. I have to pack my car now.
Julie:  Where are Jud and Kristen? They're loving Jack Johnson.
Spencer: You live in Bernie's house?!
Jason: I love Harry Browne's

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

This bed isn't big enough for the three of us...*Updated

Have you ever experienced reverse beer goggles?  It's a pleasant surprise. After a hard night of drinking at Cancun Cantina, (yes, again) I had met Dylan and a few nights later while I sat outside a restaurant waiting for him it occurred to me I was not sure what he looked like. But hot damn there was a hottie coming my way! I tried to divert my eyes but the guy was actually smiling at me! Could it be?

"Julie!" he said giving me a hug.  I could hardly believe my luck.  He was way hotter than I had remembered! Though he called me out on not recognizing him, he was laughing and didn't judge. We continued on to have a relaxed and fun date. I was left wondering what he thought of me when the date ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Not to worry as the next day he asked me to go out with all his friends the following weekend.  His friends were visiting from New York and had never been to D.C.  We spent a lovely yet chilly evening in the city and I was getting along very well with everyone.  I liked this Dylan and he was looking like an attractive date to secure for my best friends upcoming wedding.

When we all got back to his house that night, I noticed he seemed to have an overabundance of couches.  One of his friends questioned this and it turned out, the extra belonged to his ex-girlfriend and he was still trying to get her to pick it up.  (Insert record player skip noises here.) Just how recently had they split? Further, they had lived together? I was quickly sidetracked from my concerns when he asked me to come outside with him while he walked the **dog. (The not very manly dog, I was starting to notice. Hmm.)  That didn't matter after he finally kissed me outside under the stars and after such a great date.  It was super late so I decided to just spend the night.

In the morning, I was awakened by growling and toe nails in my back. "Ariel! Stop it!" ---WHAT?!?! The dog was freaking named after a Disney princess, clearly not only belonged to this seemingly ever present so called "ex" and did not want me in their bed. "So how long has it been since you broke up with your girlfriend?" I wasn't sure what an acceptable answer was, but sensing my displeasure with the situation, "Ariel" was put outside.  (And don't get me wrong, we all know I LOVE dogs, but this was just not going to work.)

I was unsure of Dylan, but I had fun with him. (and I really wanted a date for Sarah's wedding.) The next week things were looking up. He called and casually mentioned he was not looking forward to having to see the ex when they sorted out the couch situation that day. Nice!  But then he did something almost deal breaking to a commitment-phobic girl such as myself. (Did I mention that I was finding I was absolutely terrified of relationships at this point in my life?  In my head, I was really trying to see myself with this guy.) So what did he do? He gave me his work number!!! What the hell was I going to do with his work number?!?! For what reason would I need to call him there? I wailed to my friends in agony over what I was supposed to do with this information? Was I required to call him there and check in on a daily basis? I didn't know, but I did go to his house again. That damn dog still was a problem.  Dylan was still fun. For the life of me I can not remember what we did on that date.

Then it was Easter.  I spent the day with my family.  I had only been seeing Dylan for a few weeks. We were on a daily phone call basis, but  I surely wasn't going to bring him to meet the fam yet.  Sitting on my couch that evening, my two male roommates looked at me in dismay hearing the end of my phone conversation with Dylan. "No. I'm not mad at you. I was just with my family all day." Another tidbit? He had definitely questioned my living situation and was clearly not comfortable with my having male roommates.  (Though I was supposed to be comfortable with his girlfriends couch and bitter dog?!)

I discussed the matter with the boys. They called him a douche and said no guy should be starting a conversation with, "Are you mad at me?" less than a month in. I was really liking the idea of him though. He owned a house, had his act together, was nice looking and we did have fun together.

Again, all about the self preservation I waited for three days before calling Dylan again. I would give it one more shot.  He didn't answer and he didn't call back.

Lesson Learned?  Don't date boys who still have their ex's couches and dogs. Or suggest they call you at work.  Or are whiny little bitches.  Or just because you are looking for a date to Sarah's wedding.

**Update** Ariel was some sort of Beagel/Corgi mix. Not large, but sturdy you could say.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

What was I thinking?

Can we just post a great big disclaimer on this one?  Just disclaimers all around. I don't even know.

Once upon a time, my girls and I found a classy bar.  We liked it a lot.  On our first excursion, I met Vinnie.  He was...nice. But this place had promise.  Looking back, it has occurred to me that we seemed to go to only one location until we wore it out and then we moved on.  We had been frequenting the last bar for a solid year or so and there were no new faces so it was time to move on.  I had a feeling I wanted to be careful with who I agreed to go out with at this place since everyone knew everyone and they all accepted us straight away. (Think Cheers.)  So I kindly told Vinnie that I did not care to go out with him but I was sure I would see him again.  Which I did over the next few months.  He would ask me out every weekend and every weekend I would respectfully say no.  It's not that he wasn't a nice enough fellow, perhaps just too aggressive?  I like a challenge.

One night, when all my girls were unavailable, my roommate, his girlfriend and I headed to said bar.  They lost interest after about an hour or so, but since I'd made friends with so many of the regulars there, I decided to stay.  At the end of the night, I further decided to go to an "after party" with Vinnie. Aside from a lot of shots, I'm not sure what had gotten into me.  I mixed and mingled until it was definitely time to go.  Not playing close attention to what was going on, I was suddenly in a cab with Vinnie and he was suggesting we go back to my place.  "No! We can't go back to my place!" I told him my roommates would judge me, but really I was finding I just wasn't that into him.  I thought we were in the clear when he said he was "temporarily" living with his parents but then he suggested we go to a hotel.  I was trying to work this out in my drunken head and rationalized I would just go to sleep when we got there.

Luckily, at 3 a.m. the hotel would not check us in.  That didn't stop us from chatting up a teenaged/young twenties athletic team who were hanging out in the lobby area.  I immediately broke into a british accent and told them I was a gymnast and had traveled here to train for the next olympics. Yeah, I don't even know, but they believed me and they loved it.  Vinnie was looking at me in disbelief as I started discussing my love for the uneven bars and hatred of the balance beam.  In my drunken british accent mind you.

I guess he was amused by my antics because 5 minutes, an elevator ride and a dark hotel hallway later he was kissing me and I was considering this prospect.  The night had been fun, and he did have nice muscles.  (Not as big at TJ's, but nice.) Suddenly, I snapped out of the fun moment grabbed his hand and said I was starving.  We had coffee and such at a diner and chatted until it was almost bright outside.

My roommate definitely called me out of my late night shenanigans, but I think I told him he was crazy and just didn't remember me coming in earlier than I did because HE was drunk. Oops.

Lesson Learned:  Go with your instinct. If it's not there, it's never going to be there.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Everybody comes off crazy sometimes. Even me.

But it wasn't my fault. I swear. (*Disclaimer, it IS a long post. Bear with me, it's worth it...I hope.)

My new boss had a VIP box at the Redskins Stadium and had invited me to a game.  I didn't (and still don't) care about football, but I did know this was an opportunity not to pass up.  A box at a football stadium is kind of like being in someone's house with just the living room, dining room, and kitchen part. Except you don't know them, or the people in the house.

I met and was immediately smitten with Derek.  He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome.  We chatted and flirted a bit at the game and a few weeks later he stopped by the office.  When he needed something he would always ask to speak to me and of course I was more than willing to help.  On Valentine's Day when he asked what I was doing I replied, "Nothing." The truth was that I was actually still sort of seeing that "nice guy," and I did have plans, but I would worry about that later if Derek was hinting at something.  He didn't ask.

When I switched jobs again, Derek tracked me down and continued to send me business.  This is when we finally decided to go out.  I fretted on what to wear.  On our first date (which he picked me up in his BMW) he did confess that he had meant to ask me out for Valentine's Day but chickened out at the last moment. (Oh, and for the record, I finally stopped seeing "nice guy" by this point and I will neither confirm nor deny for how long I actually saw him, but he was absolutely lovely and I wish him nothing but love, happiness and success.) Now where was I? Oh yes. In the BMW.  Date One, not much to tell.

Date Two, he met me at my office.  Embarrassing start when two of my co-workers were spying from an upstairs window making a ton of racket.  He called me out on it, and I claimed to have no idea what was going on.  Do you know what else is awkward? When you go to the Japanese steakhouse with a guy you are trying to impress and you are at a table with people you don't know and it's suddenly somebody's birthday and you have to sing, and you are mortified because you don't even sing Happy Birthday well, so you lip-sync because it would be rude to the Birthday person to not wish them a good year and just when you think you are in the clear, the Chef starts throwing pieces of food at you because for some reason the Chef's think you like it even though everybody really hates that part, so there you are with your mouth hanging open desperately trying to catch flying pieces of shrimp and you know it's going to inevitably bounce off your face, which is already burning red from the singing debacle, and now it's going to have a huge grease spot as well if you're lucky because the alternative is that it's going to get stuck in your eye because there is no chance in hell you are ever going to gracefully catch the damn thing in your mouth, but the chef is going to keep saying "almost, almost" and throwing more and more pieces to further the spectacle you're making of yourself and just...don't go to the Japanese Steakhouse on a date...and maybe not ever.

We finally left there and somehow ended up at my elementary school playground.  It was all very romantic and terribly cliche at the same time. Under the stars and leaning against some jungle gym apparatus, I finally got to know Derek a little better.**  He had muscles too you know.

I may have come off cold after that or he may have been deterred by my living two hours away, but nothing happened.  My favorite movie is was "Sweetest Thing" and I lived by their rule of "self-preservation" so I surely wasn't going to pursue him.  There was a chance of a rekindle when I relocated to Annapolis. We were still doing business, but here is where things got tricky. In a marketing attempt our office held a raffle where each deal that a client sent to us was entered for a chance to win a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant conveniently located in our area.  Derek had sent us two deals.  His name was picked. "NOOOOOO," I groaned.  "We CAN'T  give it to him.  He's going to think I rigged it. " Cindy said we could draw again just to see.  His name was picked AGAIN. I'm pretty sure I threw a work tantrum of epic proportions but fair was fair and just like that time Rachel was wearing the wedding dress and answered the door to that blonde guy and scared the living hell out of him, I knew my fate was sealed.  "That oughtta do it," I said and surely, never heard from Derek again.


Lesson Learned? Don't date people you do business with. 

**PG guys! This isn't that sort of a blog! What kind of girl do you think I am?!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Random musings and what to look forward to..

So the dating stories are not nearly over.  Actually, the best is yet to come.  We've barely broke ground and I've got some crazy ones coming up next week.

Following that, I'm going to be doing a little bit of duo-blogging.  A good friend of mine, (and fellow blogger) has been so amused by my dating antics, he wants to call me out on some of my.... moments? adventures?  I don't know what we should call them, but for the sake of being real  I've decided to let him do it.  Reliving my dating past has been therapeutic and eye opening.  Maybe this will be as well.

And now here is a list of things on my mind/current gripes.

1. Where does the google analytics code go?  I used to have it and now I can't make it work again. It's much better than the standard blogger stats.

2. Lack of a set schedule makes me less productive.  I have so much time to do things, that I'll do them later, and then I run out of time.

3. I'm back on coffee again.  New side effect? Paranoia.

4. I want to see karma in action NOW! (But I'm not worried at all.  Karma is a bitch, ever present and that's why I love it!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Why NOT to date boys you work with

While I never went out with anyone that worked directly in my office,  there is a slippery slope when fraternizing with clients. It took me...a while to learn this lesson.  Here are a few examples.

One day our IT company sent out a new young fellow for some big software overhaul we were doing at the office.  I guess I was chatting up the guy, (seems about right) while his counterpart was in another part of the office playing matchmaker.  Things swiftly got out of control with other parties involved and before I knew it I was meeting Chris at Redwood Trust, (a techno club in a questionable part of Baltimore) with my girlfriends the next night.  I won't take full responsibility for this calamity however because for a brief period of my life, my very best girlfriends and I worked for the same company.  They thought he seemed nice and normal.  When we got to the club, he kept trying to separate me from my friends.  We were not really into that music and quickly decided it was not our scene.  Sensing our impending departure, Chris said with a shoulder shaking, hustle dance move from the 70's, totally inappropriate to the music, something the girls and I would mock for years to come. "Wanna dance?" I inched away in horror. April took over. "No, we just don't like this music.  We're going to go." His reply was that I could stay with them and sleep at their hotel that night.  WHAT?!?! So we went to Hammerjacks, (reeeeal classy) and he never came to our office again.

This is not me, or him, or the dance move in question, but is an adequate portrayal of the moment anyway.  (random internet people)

I think the first time I met Paul was at a work Happy Hour and he was a nice fellow if not a bit unsure of himself and a solid 10 years my senior.  He was fun to talk to and did a lot of business in my area. I decided to go while many of my coworkers were still wildly inebriated and for once I was not. There was a rose purchasing situation going on in the bar, (why does that happen? Seriously, I feel it's totally inappropriate) and headed out the door, Paul decided it would be a good idea to walk me to my car and present me with one of said roses.  I am not sure how this situation escalated so out of control so quickly but before I knew it he was leaning to kiss me and I was not into him in that way.  Quick on my toes and fast as lightening so he thought it was his idea I moved my face and kissed his cheek. Disaster averted.  Although, I then proceeded to hang out with him on several more occasions.  He even came to a birthday party of mine.  I guess the moral of this one is, um be quick on your toes and don't let things get awkward... and then things will be OK?

I'm not sure where I was going with these. Am I losing you? Come back Monday so I can tell you about tall, dark and handsome Derek and how I'm on HIS list of crazy dates!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Classy Guy continues..

During the course of the snowy initial meeting of TJ,  I learned he was soon to be graduating from the Annapolis Naval Academy (convenient as I was moving to Annapolis in a matter of months,) loved working out, reading and was a part of the big brother program.  What's not to love?  Not, NOT his muscles, I'll let tell you that for sure.  I will say, I was intimidated from the beginning.

Who knows if I would have heard from him ever again had I not jetted off into the night wearing his leather jacket.  But since I did, we met the next day back at the scene of the crime, exchanged the jacket, a kiss, surveyed the damage on his vehicle and planned to see each other the next weekend.  He and his friend Mike came to Becca's house where I think TJ and I got along a little better than B and Mike.  (Long story short, I think Mike was just a bit dramatic or something.)  Over the next few weeks TJ and I talked on the phone a lot.  We were living about an hour away from each other and I had a few upsetting things happen in my own life then and I guess the relationship just never fully bloomed.  But I always liked that TJ.  I can honestly say he gave me a sense of calm.

Which is probably why a few years later I instant messaged him one night when the girls and I were headed back out for a night at Cancun Cantina.  It was just one of those evenings where we knew it was going to get out of control.  I was with Melissa and Kristen and the vodka was flowing. A little too easily.

Shortly after arriving in the club I received a text from him.

"I like your hair like that."

My reply, "Where are you?"

I couldn't find him for several minutes, based on the club being packed and my ungodly consumption of vodka.  The girls had never met him so they were of no help.  To be perfectly honest, the three of us were such a train wreck that night I'm really not sure how we even recognized each other.  (See vacant stares in photos...yes, I'm including photos of this evening.  But only of us.  TJ's identity will be protected.)  Eventually, we did meet up.  He could still dance.  I still couldn't.

At the end of the evening, I found myself in his truck again without my friends. (His truck which had never been repaired. I liked to think it had been a constant reminder of me...then again, maybe that wasn't a good thing?)  And like the perfect gentleman I had grown to know, he drove me right back to my girls again, this time depositing me in their car with a "drive safe."  Which somebody did.  Not me.  The girls will say in my drunken stupor I said, "I kissed him. Hee hee," before promptly passing out.  Which I'm sure I did, but sadly do not remember.

We did meet after that for a proper date once and for all.  Just the two of us, and no alcohol.  Unfortunately, I don't recall where we dined other than it was at Arundel Mills mall.  Again, a relationship just never happened.  I'm not sure why other than, I'm sure it was me.  I was truly a bit of a mess those days and I always felt he had his act together.  One step ahead of me while I was clawing at life just trying to keep my head above water.

We've talked once or twice since then and I know he is doing well and has found his true love as I have found mine.  Obviously, we weren't meant to be.  I did however learn a lot about what I wanted from a relationship and what I needed to fix about myself.

(Please note vacant look on face. I wouldn't date me either!)
(TJ's identity protected)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A classy guy in a redneck club...

I met TJ one night when Becca and I went to Cancun Cantina, a ridiculous club that plays pop music on one side but is much more well known for it's line dancing country side. We freaking loved this place in our early twenties.  By this time,  I wasn't afraid of alcohol and my confidence was growing.  I probably still had zero rhythm in my game when I spotted well dressed TJ donning sunglasses dancing near me, but that didn't stop me from immediately approaching him.  (They were the light iridescent style sunglasses that could be worn at night, I swear. Not the Jersey Shore style)

I think I knew I was a little out of my league when I actually started dancing with him, but he was non-judgmental on my inability to move and I was so attracted to him I stayed.  Plus, I was finding he was actually interesting to talk to! Bonus.  Besides, I had no idea where Becca was.  I would in fact soon find in an interesting turn of events, she was off dancing with his friend. Convenient or what? **Disclosure. Remember when I said I didn't condone all the things I did?  If you are in a club, it may not always in fact wise to separate from your friends. Bad things could happen!**

Very luckily for me they didn't.  It was closing time and when the four of us discovered we were all paired up we decided to go for breakfast.  Finding your car is always an ordeal when leaving Cancun Cantina, and I'm guessing B and I had left our phones in her car because I suddenly realized I was again not with her, or a cell phone but in TJ's giant truck and wearing his coat....with another random friend of his. F! A moment of sobriety hit me and panic set in wondering if I had just made a huge mistake.  Fortunately, we pulled right up to B's car where I jumped into the back seat, (her new fellow Mike was in the front) and from there we headed to Denny's.  (The twenties are a time in your life where nothing bad can happen to you as long as you are with your girlfriends. Um, note that disclosure again.)

It was freezing that night.  I still had TJ's coat on and while we waited for him to arrive at the Denny's time was ticking away as fast as my buzz.  A light snow was beginning to cover the roads.  When he finally arrived there was some debacle in that he had been in a minor accident leaving the side of his previously mentioned truck significantly scratched and dented.  I don't recall the circumstances surrounding our never actually eating or the full drama about his vehicle, but we parted ways that night.  Not without exchanging numbers, but without my returning his coat.

This wouldn't be the last I would hear from TJ....

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Thai on Tuesday

Eventually, I did move out of my parents house, and in with my good friend Becca.  You may remember her from this story. (Which actually makes me think of the roofie story which we may get to later this week. Maybe.)

One night, Becca and our other bestie Chrissi (we all lived together) went to a party at a mutual friends house.  They all wanted me to meet James. James was super cute.  Tall, dark hair, light blue eyes and was cut. I don't recall all the circumstances of our initial meeting but we must have exchanged phone numbers because later that week we secured a date via home phone.  By this point, I had mastered making toast and it was a good thing because I pretty much existed on sandwiches, so when he asked me if I liked Thai food I was pretty nervous.  While my parents had always exposed me to lots of foods, I resisted. But the guy was cute, so I said, "I love it!"  We went to Terra Thai in Bethesda and I was immediately smitten by it's underwater murals and general decor.  Plus, I felt glamourous dating during the week and in Bethesda at that, even if I was just wearing a jean skirt. (What? I had like JUST moved out of my parents house.  It was a big deal!) (And yes, I do remember exactly what I was wearing.  And I do for all of these dating posts at that. Don't judge.)

I guess the date was going well.  No awkward silences. We saw "Blue Crush" afterwards. Typical dinner/movie date.  There was just one little nagging problem.  I couldn't get past his laugh. It was BAD. Cute, successful, fun, good kisser, but I found myself trying to not say funny things to prevent the inevitable, "Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh."  What was I to do?  I avoided his calls.  Pretty awkward when he came to our house the next weekend when it would seem my house was hosting a party.  Clearly, I didn't think that one out.   I hid in my room with some other friends I had invited and made a production of flirting with their guy friend until I passed out from drinking too much grain alcohol/gatorade beverages from my good friend (to this day) Jeremy. All in all, probably the best thing I could have done was go to sleep and stop making a fool of myself.

Years later, James and I crossed paths again once I had relocated to Annapolis.  By this time, I had matured (maybe?) and was a bit more direct with my approach.  I told him there was no point in trying this again as it didn't work the first time. (As I kissed him at the bar. Oops.)  His reply? "Huh, huh, huh."  But don't go feeling too sorry for him. By this point in time it was well known and all in good fun that he had a funny laugh.  I'm sure he is doing just fine these days!

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Chef in the Suit and SUV

Shortly after the whole Shawn disaster, I met Alex.  He was several inches taller than me, and was good friends with my best friend Sarah's serious boyfriend so he had people to vouch for him that he didn't steal things.  Plus, he lived in the pool house separate from his parents so I wasn't going to have to deal with any angry Mom's as far as I could tell.  We met when he hosted a birthday party complete with a full bar and of course pool for Sarah's guys 21st Birthday.  I impressed him with my ability to play a solid game of chess after drinking copious amounts of various types of alcohol.  I wasn't that into him but it seemed like it would be really convenient if I was since all our friends were friends so we made out that night.

The next week he picked me up at my parents driving a large SUV and wearing a suit to go to an Italian restaurant in DC.  (My parents were happy about the upgrade in vehicle, attire and lack of visible tattoos, but were not impressed with his stiff personality. I think they may have thought I was starting to lose it. Plus, I might have still been casually dating the "sweet fellow" they liked and Mom was getting stressed out about dodging his phone calls when I was out with other suitors. Sorry Mom!)  So at this point in my life, I could barely boil water and frequently burned toast, and this guy was an actual chef.  Like told me stories about hanging out with Emeril.  I'm pretty sure I inappropriately spread olive tapenade on my bread when I was supposed to dip it and ordered the only thing I could pronounce on the Italian menu. Halfway through dinner, I knew I was done and was longing for relaxed night with the sweet guy but we still had to go to National World War II Memorial.  It was beautiful.



It would have been the perfect romantic date had I been into him.  Honestly, there was nothing wrong with Alex.  He was an attractive guy who had a lot going for him, but I had tried to force it and it wasn't working.   I even kissed him that night, (um, did you see the above pictures?  You at least have to give it one more go in that setting!) but alas, there was no spark.

I was far too immature in those days to be honest and tell someone I did not want to see them further.  My Mom dodged his house calls and I dodged his calls on my cell phone for a good week or two before I received his last message.  "Damn girl, you are hard to get ahold of."  I think he heard it and gave up then.

All was not lost.  When Sarah and her fellow married years later, Alex and I chatted at the wedding and there were no hard feelings. I do believe I heard he found his perfect match since then.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

In the beginning...(ish)

I promised a dating story a day.  The hard part is to know where to begin.  I could start at the beginning, but I think it may be best to start with a disclaimer.  I dated a lot of people in my twenties.  Some good, some bad.  I don't condone all the things I did and for that, I'm keeping this lighthearted and I'm not going to get into actual relationships. Oh, and of course names will be changed.  Who KNOWS who may be linked up on my facebook and reading this.

Fresh out of my first long term relationship, I had a lot of makingout-up to do.  Life was quickly changing for the better and I was meeting new people all the time.  A new friend of mine introduced me to a fellow that was super cute and fun, but too young for her.  I met Shawn at a bar with a bunch of her friends. We hit it off and decided to go out the next weekend. I was 21, still living at home and was a little anxious that the first fellow my parents were going to inevitably meet after three years had bleached blonde hair, tattoos on his neck and drove a souped up electric blue Honda civic.  What can ya do? Fast and Furious was just out and I thought his car and tattoos were hot.  Plus, he was super cute minus the fact that he was an inch shorter than me.  

We went for Mexican a good hour drive away and began ordering margaritas.  I was pretty innocent, new to the drinking scene and a little nervous about the quantity consumed after our swift drive there in the "fancy" car.  (Ok, actually I might have also been dating a VERY sweet fellow already but wasn't ready for anything serious so I was concerned about having to explain an accident to him. Technically, I was not cheating though.) When it was time to leave his card was denied.  This was a red flag, but I let it slide and paid the bill.  Red Flag #2 was when I realized he was smuggling a margarita glass out in his oversized North Face jacket. I don't know how I let him get away with Red Flag #3 and let him convince me to partake in the stealing and place a glass in my purse.  

But I did.  Not only that, but I brought all my friends with me to the bonfire he invited me to the next night.  I kind of wanted to show him off partially because he was really cute, but I think mostly I knew this would not be going anywhere but I wanted their opinion.  He was on good behavior and didn't steal anything and I didn't have to pay for anything so there was that.  

On date number three I met his Mom.  We went to his house to watch movies.  I was a little gun shy from trashy Mom's of relationships past and when she arrived home, refused to acknowledge me and picked a fight with him in front of me, I knew I was done.  I would have gotten out of there sooner, but his little niece arrived to question "Uncle Shawn," on why every time she used the bathroom after him, the toilet was clogged. I laughed out loud.  She cut her eyes, shook her neck and head with alarming nine year old skill and threatened to cut me.  I did not return his calls. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Wedding Planning and Frog Kissing

I just got an email from theknot.com to inform me that I am getting married in three months.  Um, panic much?  Not about getting married of course. I know I've found my match.  There are just so many things left to be done.  Like invitations, and rings, and hair and finishing favors to name only a few. Here are a few highlights of my wedding panic issues so far:

1.  I went to Michael's and Joanne Fabric like five times trying to pick out supplies for Save the Dates and had my graphically designingly inclined friend Mel draft them before I just gave up and did them via email.

2.  Near meltdown trying to agree on dishes while registering after I had debated for months and decided to not register at all based entirely on not being able to pick dishes. (We'll have these dishes for like...the rest of our lives!!!)

3.  I have a huge fear of the "ugly cry," when I walk down the aisle.  I want to make sure I look like this:


and not this









Oye. That is not good.  So I've devised a plan.  And people aren't going to like it but it doesn't matter because it's not their wedding. We are doing a "first look." I've discussed it with a bunch of my recently married friends and my photographer and it's going to happen so don't try to talk me out of it.  I'm sure it will take the pressure off... and if not, well, I guess there will be nothing left to do but...make sure my photographer destroys the evidence. (Which I'm sure he will because he is awesome!)

4.  Do all brides fear the "engagement period knock-up?" I never thought about it until my friend Kristen expressed her fear of getting preggers before her wedding.  "You'll be fine," I assured her. "Nothing to worry about." Then I got engaged and then I purchased my dress and suddenly it's like, "OMG you've gone your whole life and managed to not get pregnant. Do NOT F it up now."  But then one day you get an email from the knot.com saying you've only got 3 months and you realize that if you can just make it through this one last month you're pretty much in the clear! I mean, except for the fact that we don't want to have kids at all, but I'd be good to go with the dress situation. Right? RIGHT?!?!

So, on that note, yeah, I've been doing some wedding planning. But how did I get here? I'm not your average 25 year old bride.  Partially, because I'm not 25 but most importantly because I never wanted to get married too early and I never really wanted to do the hard core planning/organization of a wedding.  I kissed a lot of frogs before I met Nat.  Last week I promised a blog a day and failed.  Next week, I'm promising a dating story a day.  So stay tuned next week to meet some of my Mr. Wrongs that led me to Mr. Right. 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I can't post every day this week!

I said I could yesterday, but then I realized (for the second time this week) that Thanksgiving is on Thursday. So really,  I'm going to be very busy with family things, homework, and turkey eating. I can't post everyday this week! (But maybe next week.)

I can however leave you with Night Notes not only from Saturday night, but last night as well!
(And yes, they both take place at the infamous  Harry Browne's.  (Which is officially back in full effect even though we all swore we would stop going in 2010.)

Saturday:

Julie to Kristen:  Those were your old teeth.

Jud:  Why have my ears seperated?
Julie: Separation-occur occur.

Kristen:  We all have to be The Count sometimes.


Tuesday:


Julie:  Do not mock the man's level.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A quick update

So my Christmas Cactus and I are on speaking terms again! (Sorry for the poor quality photo.  I took this using my computer camera on a whim.)  In real life, those are beautiful pink flowers just about to open!  Christmas Cactus and I had a long talk about a month ago, we repotted and now we are both happy!


I went out with Kristen and Jud on Saturday and noticed that downtown was filled with Christmas lights and garland with lots of red bows.  When did it become Christmas?  Did you know that Thanksgiving is this week?  Where have I been?  Walking around in a daze actually. There are a couple of Night Notes which I'll try to post in the next few days, but my main goal is something much bigger.  I've suddenly got a lot more free time on my hands (which I think we can all guess what that means) and my main goal is to finish a play I started a few years ago and just never have the time to complete.  I'm considering posting an excerpt on here just to get a little feed back and see what the interest level is.  We'll see.  At the same time, I'm going to try to post everyday this week. I've got some funny anecdotes from my trials of wedding planning and the fears that go with it to share. 

Hope everyone is enjoying a short week, and I'll be back!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Night Notes on Newmans Birthday

Newman insists on calling me "Fun Police" because I don't go out very much anymore.  But I think I'm a lot of fun.  I mean I called out all the stops Saturday night.  I wore my level three bump-it Snooki style and some of my most favorite and important shoes ever.   We didn't even have time to take that many notes we were having so much fun. I think.


Newman's Birthday/"Early Retirement Night" at Fado


Kristen to Ian: Whatever your heard, didn't happen.
Ian:  It'll go sideways before it goes up or down.

And apparently there is a note somewhere about me smelling like a pot pie, because I fell on Belles (the dogs) pie, or perhaps something about I dropped my blanket in it and then used it?  I don't entirely recall.
Teaching Katie the "Crab Pose." 
I have the best friends in the world!
Seriously, that was an aggressive "poof" I was wearing.  Trust me, it was necessary!


And I'm done!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Preferred method of communication...


As of late, Nat and I communicate via "Stickie Note" on my computer.  But mostly just about things we don't want to forget to tell each other.   (In case the photo does not enlarge enough, you know I've included the break down below.)  I guess we can call this photo, "Anytime Notes on Mac Stickies."




your sock is behind the couch
Can you please retrieve it for me? xoxo
Also, are you working on Sunday and if not can we go register?  I promise it will be fun.  It will be like shopping without spending money. Or instant gratification...occur.
i am working on sunday
Can you ask your mom about the addresses that I asked her for last week.  If I could get that tomorrow that would be grrrrreat. 


For the record, the sock as been retrieved, we registered last Tuesday and we will see tomorrow if I get the desired addresses from Nat's Mom. Fingers crossed!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Halloween Story



So Halloween was an eventful one.  As the evening was coming to a close seven of us piled into a car to head back to Kristen's house.  (Yes, I said seven.)  There was only one problem.  There were eight of us.  (Ok, maybe there was more than one problem.)  It's hard enough to round up seven people out of a bar as it is, so it was decided we would keep an eye out for our missing party as we headed home.  As it's less than a mile drive, it did not take long until we saw Jeff swiftly walking on the sidewalk. By the time Newman found a safe place to turn around and wait, and Kristen and I got out of the car, we had lost Jeff again.  Here is a retelling of the story at hand as written by Kristen herself.  (My notes are in italics and the cast is listed below.)


Julie: The Other Mother from Coraline
Kristen: Lucy Ricardo
Jud: Ricky Ricardo (had called it an early night and was at home)
Jeff: Defendor (Jud's [Ricky's] brother)


The Other Mother


Defendor


(Scene)


Other Mother and Lucy Ricardo run down the street, yelling for Defendor. "DEFENDOR!!" "JEFF!". No response. The girls are very distraught that they have lost Ricky's brother. (They're going to have some 'splaining to do!!!)

Just when they begin to lose hope, they spot a familiar helmet turning down an unfamiliar street, and they run after him! "DEFENDOR!!" "JEFF!" "DEFENDOR!" To their dismay, as Defendor sees them running toward him, he starts running too- but-away from them! In their heels, the girls quickly stop running after him and stand there in confusion.

Several minutes later, Defendor comes trudging back down the street, bruised and bloody. (Like giant gash on his chin and skin torn off his now bleeding fingers.) The girls usher him into the car, where they discover that he fell down while running. "But, Defendor, why were you running?" they ask.

"There was someone chasing me."



[end scene]


Yeah, that was us.  Oops.  It's easy to get confused on Halloween. With people only half in their costumes and wig-hair flailing behind them. After many cocktails. Who can blame him?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Double Header Night Notes this week...

So I was in a mood last night.  Nothing is going smoothly on the topic of wedding planning.  I came home grouchy. Then I found that Nat had prepared a hot bath for me. Like it was waiting and all I had to do was get in.  Total moment. Love him.

We decided to go to Sakura for dinner.  That was interesting.  There was a new Hibachi Chef and he had an interesting sense of humor.  When I told him my name was Julie, he said he'd call me Juliette because he was Romeo. Ok. Har de har. I see what you did there. But then he asked if I had a big mouth.  And then said "we will find out." Now I get that he was technically talking about the shrimp throwing at the end, but there was definite innuendo.  Further awkwardness ensued when he called the couple next to us fat and the little boy (granted he did have long hair) at our table Princess. Repeatedly. So uncomfortable.

In any event, we then proceeded on to meet some friends for late night drinks.  It went something like this.

Night Notes at Wild Orchid and Treaty of Paris on WTF Tuesday

Julie: So you've all hooked up with her. How does that make you feel?
Bill:...like a team.

Julie: What do you want to drink?
Newman: Redka Vodbulls.

Julie: I don't think we would like to hear, "Oh, there's your man in the boat!"
Peanut: You've never heard that term?!
Julie, Nat, Newman: NO!!!!!!