Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sometimes we do Haiku Tuesday.

The lump in my throat
is the only thing keeping
my soul from draining.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Haiku Monday...

The anti-climax
of the holiday season
is upon us now...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sometimes I write fiction...

(or do I?...)

There’s one blonde guy who looks identical to another. My friend and I look at each other. And then back at them. Without a word we leave the black and silver glittery ballroom. Tom Collins cocktails still in hand, we find ourselves in a hotel room twelve floors up in a matter of minutes. Has anyone even spoken a word? Been formally introduced? The digital clock reads 11:46. How did we end up at a hotel party?  Why is there a mirror on the air conditioning unit? Am I forgetting something downstairs? I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My borrowed little black dress is amazing. My hair is extra blonde. I smile.

 “Oh, hi there twinsie,” I say when I notice the reflection of one of the lookalikes sitting on the bed next to me. My friend coughs lightly as a brightly colored blown glass object is passed around.

“It’s so nice to meet you too Laura.---How do I know Steve? …Who’s Steve? Oh right. Steve.” Laura looks at me oddly. Her brown hair is long, wavy, shiny and she looks judgmental. The clock reads 11:52 and the nagging feeling that I’m forgetting something grows stronger.

Dick Clark appears on the TV. My friend tugs at my arm. “It’s 11:55. We have to get back downstairs.” I look blankly at her. “NOW!”

“It’s almost midnight,” says one of the twins. “They want to go back to the party.”  My friend gives me a knowing look but I don’t know what it means. Piled into the elevator there is feverish chatter. There are stops at every floor and more and more people pile on. Tension grows and the time is apparently 11:58. One of the twins kisses me and tastes like a mixture of brown liquor and smoke.

The doors finally open as the number seven is being shouted. A sudden panic sets in as I remember what I’ve forgotten. People scatter from the elevator and I yank my hand from the twins as my friend and I dash to the dance floor and into the appropriate location as the clock strikes midnight.

Golden Girls VS SATC

Dorothy = Carrie
Blanche = Samantha
Sophia   = Miranda
Rose       = Charlotte

I'm sure the general, slutty, sarcastic and innocent personalities have already be been dissected like a thousand times, but just sayin'.

And now, back to my wine, Golden Girls and last minute Christmas preparations.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Haiku Monday

Watching the Blizzard.
Chat with Neighbors. Cookies baked.
Winter Wonderland.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Haiku Monday

Two hair appointments,
Snakeskin heels, Drinks at the Lounge,
Gourmet din with Friends

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Night Notes

Another night at The Lounge with great company. We were pretty subdued and only a few Night Notes were taken.


Ben: It's like making Boones Farm in your toilet.

Kristen: According to Brandon, it wasn't the Czar, it was the ten shotes of rum.

The Resting Rat

Friday, December 11, 2009

There's no high like a shoe high.

  I should know because I just impulse purchased the crap out of some killer blue and black snakeskin stilettos. It was a little touch and go for a minute there in Aldo because this lady was totally blocking my view and then she started to reach for them and my heart stopped, but then her arm swerved left to a lesser pair and I swooped in like a seagull to a funnel cake. I really did mean to only try them on but my hair was all bouncy and fresh from the salon, and I had my new Kathy bag (complete with stolen charm) over my arm  and I was so Becky Bloomwood from Shopaholic at that moment that I knew the only thing to complete my look would be that Aldo box in hand.  I rationalized that I'd wanted blue stillets' for absolute ages so it was ok. Plus, I needed a pick me up since as it turns out, I have thin corneas and probably can't get lasik after all. Moving right along, double plus, they go with everything. (This may or may not be code for "they only go with a few select things.") The other best part is that I bought a blue sequin shirt to match at Forever 21...Ok, that is a total lie. I did not buy it at Forever 21. What I did was far worse. I bought it at...RAVE. What? I mostly don't buy disposable clothes anymore, but doing that whole cheap thing matched with expensive things is totally chic. Right?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Night Notes on Saturday

After spending Saturday afternoon enjoying the first snow fall, I met up with Kristen and Jud at The Lounge. It was a quiet night and we snagged a table looking over West Street for optimal people watching. While I rarely give any insight to what the notes mean, because I like to be mysterious, I'll add a few in italics because some deserve it.

The Lounge 12/05/2009

Jud: You wanna go to the meat mactory?!?!
Julie: Let's let them bond while we talk about our sluttiness. (Ok, let me explain...nevermind)
Kristen: Ha ha ha...OK!

"occurs and ishes"

Jud: We dun been not knowing each other.
Julie: I thought it was a dark bowl. (Discovering half way through soup at a new Japanese Steakhouse that there was seaweed in the bottom of the bowl.)
Jud:  Thought it was funny that a cocksucker named BJ thought I was uncool until I played the drums.
Jud: Closed your eyes too early did you? (Ref: Me tripping while walking with my eyes closed because there was a couple making out uncomfortably close to the bathroom)
Kristen: They called her Blue Bonnet. (Gone with the Wind)
Julie: That book has a high risk for conjunctivitis. (My fear of libraries.)
Julie: I don't know who this is, but have my enguessing... (I have no clue what this means. Kristen?)
Kristen:  If you want to prevent it, get a pile of jelly beans. (Preventing cake smashing during a wedding.)

Actually, in reference to that last one, I'm not really sure. I thought we had discussed martini glasses filled with potato chips to be thrown in a confetti like fashion to avoid the dreaded face cake smashing during a wedding reception. Perhaps Kristen will comment one what the jelly beans mean.

Just a few more days until the weekend!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Haiku Monday

More captured squirrels and
our first snow fall. Wine days and
wine nights with sushi.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

NOT sipping on

...hot chocolate with mint schnapps while watching the Golden Girls and getting ready to go out.

If I'm not careful, I'm going to have to start calling this blog, "Which fantastic shoes is that girl going to wear with those same jeans again tonight?" Just a thought.

Karma police, Please don't find me today...

The first text I sent this morning was to April at 8:20 a.m. and it said, "On my way to Zumba with a squirrel in my trunk for drop off.  Seriously, who does that?"

I'll back up. First of all. I'm a horrible person. When I got home last night, my eyes were still dilated and driving was a little tricky. I suspected we may have captured another pesky squirrel but rather than check the trap...well I didn't so I wouldn't have to deal with the little rascal. I woke from a traumatic dream (which I'll disclose in a later post) around 5 a.m. and confessed to Nat who was playing a video game. He checked and confirmed my suspicion, stating we definitely had secured a now very unhappy critter.  Since I knew I was checking out Zumba at the gym this morning, we figured at this point, the squirrel could wait a few more hours and just go with me then. His tail was all pitiful and matted when it was time to go. I felt a little sheepish when my neighbor was walking past my house with his sweet chocolate lab. I stopped for a little chat and felt the need to confess to him what I was up to while Nat loaded the squirrel into my trunk.  I'm pretty sure neighbor guy thinks I'm crazy and doesn't want me petting his dog anymore.

So off the the gym we go and the squirrel is now running free after a rough night.  Turns out Zumba started earlier than I thought, but I got a killer work out in anyway. I've never considered myself a morning person thought I think actually kind of might be now that I'm not a caffeine addict. I was on fire! Totally in the workout zone.  Plus, the few people who were there all had puffy-I-just-woke-up faces similar to mine, so I felt better about myself and less like an impostor.

Next, I went to my favorite name brand discount store since it was only 9:30 to see if I could buy stuff for myself look for Christmas gifts. And do you know what happened? I was looking at the Kathy Van Zeeland bags. They are always on sale and I've always wanted one but never splurged.  The ones missing the oh so coveted charm are a strict $10 dollars cheaper than the ones with it still attached. And you know those gems are secured to avoid swapping.  Today I found a purse I loved. Without the charm. The price was right.  I looked at every other bag. And there was one with an unsecured charm.  I made that swap.  That's right. I did it and so would anyone of you!!! I continued on with my shopping (failed attempt at finding blue stilettos) but was paranoid.  What if they were watching the tapes? What if they saw? Would they tap me on my shoulder and say, "Excuse me Miss?" That would be horrific! How would I explain? What would happen to me? People would call me Winona. I tried to remain calm but at one point during my shopping, an employee was called to "the office." Certain they were conducting a meeting about ME I almost dropped my soon to be purchases and fled. In the end, I checked out with bated confidence. The cashier was sugar sweet. I'll be carrying my new purse tonight (pen stashed inside), and ready for some Night Notes.

Until then, it's (sort of) snowing in Annapolis and I'm having a peacefully lazy afternoon snuggling with Nat and staying warm. (Due in part to the fact that there's no longer a noisy rodent banging around in our wall)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Eye can't complain

Good news. Not only are my retinas still intact,  I am also finally officially a candidate for lasik eye surgery. I'm going to sit on this information whilst forming a long list of questions compiled over the years before I make any rash final decisions in regard to lasering my corneas. For example, what happens if you have to sneeze while your eye lids are being held open? Or during surgery? What if the power goes out in the middle of the procedure? How are you positive my eye is completely numb? What if I look away from the little light?!?! Can I wear something to cover my nose to avoid the smell of burnt eye my lasered friends keep telling me about? If any of you have undergone this procedure, could you please send me an informative and lengthy minute by minute description of exactly what took place at nightnotesonnapkins@gmail.com ? I'd really appreciate it.

So after having my eyes dilated, I headed to the mall for a little Christmas shopping. Each year, I feel like I find the most perfect gift there ever was for one sole person on my gift giving list.  The rest get random things I hope they'll like, but this year the lucky fellow is my Dad. He's an amazing photographer and National Geographic magazine subscriber since the 60's. Guess who put out an image collection book this October chronicling it's picture history of the past 120 years? If you didn't guess National Geographic, I can't help you. I physically can't wait to see him open it on Christmas Day.

I was so pleased with myself when I got home, I put on my Christina Aguilera Christmas CD and started putting up the holiday appropriate decorations. (Don't judge, at least it wasn't Mariah) It didn't take long to finish since all I own is a whimsical snowman salt and pepper shaker set from my mom last year, a two foot plastic tree (lights included) and three ornaments courtesy of my bestie Chrissi. I was finished before my tree scented candle even had a chance to scent the room.

So a low key evening for me tonight.  Gearing up to finally try Zumba in the a.m and I'm expecting some Night Note action tomorrow when I go out with my girls. 'Tis the season!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Define Cleavage

Kristen: This bar is totally the new HB's.
Julie: Yeah. HB's is so last year anyway.
Kristen: Let's take pictures like old times.
Julie: OK!!! I'm going to make my seductive face.
Kristen: Really? I don't think that's your seductive face. You're trying to make a face more like mine.
Julie: YEAH! I am making that face.
Kristen: Ok, why don't you open your eyes just a little wider.
Julie: Sshhh. I'm concentrating. Are you ready?

Kristen: I can see the pattern on your bra.
Julie: Woooow. That lasik eye surgery did work really well. I can't believe you can see right though my shirt.
Kristen: (Sigh) Let's just do the cleavage shot now.
Julie: I don't think I have that.
Kristen: Sure you do. Just lean over really far....and don't forget to smile.
Julie: Dude. I've totally got this all on lock down.
Kristen: Are you smiling?
Julie: Yup!
Julie: Let's do the crab pose next.
Kristen: Um, let's not take anymore photos tonight after all.
Julie: Whatever. Have you seen my wine glass?