Sunday, October 11, 2009

1994 called...

It wants its plaid back. Seriously. Last month after purchasing a purple sweater I was forced against my will to buy a plaid shirt because every other article of clothing in the entire mall was plaid patterned. I like my trends. I wore ponchos 5 years ago when they were available in every material for 5 seasons straight. (I think it lasted 2 winters.) I wore the hell out of some groucho pants until they had fuzz balls on them before I gave them up. I even wore platform shoes in the late 90's. But this plaid phenomenon has gone far enough! While I can appreciate it for what it is, form fitting and much more polished than when paired with a Kurt Cobain t-shirt, it's still plaid, its still  country and I don't need one for everyday of the week to wear with my express editor pants and pumps. Why must every store insist on carrying 18 different cuts and colors of this trend? Plus, it's only been 15 years since it was in style the first time. I feel 30 years minimum need to pass before improving and bringing back something.

Don't even get me started on not being able to find a sweater that doesn't involve a turtle neck. Just don't.

Did someone say Vera Bradley? I'm filled with rage and must change away from the topic of fashion. (though V. Bradley is one of the most diabolically, puzzling, monstrosities of trends I have ever witnessed. Will it please die? Since when are the amish setting the style standard?!?!?! I shutter at the thought of mixing plaid with that quilt shit and you know I'm going to see it and it's going to send me into state of panic and anger and convulsions of hatred for people who don't know who to match because I thought we all learned not to mix patterns when we five unless we were Carrie Bradshaw in which we can mix and match and flash our bra-straps and halter tops all over town to our hearts content while wearing leg warmers, stilettos and a fanny pack and still make it work, and further who does this "Vera" think she is, using the name of a reputable designer. There. I've said it.... What was I talking about?)

Anyway, my cuz over at Go Redskins Go God Dammit and I had a very informative video chat when he mentioned the miracles of vitamin B-1 in association to hangover prevention. You heard it here first. Not only does cuz rocket around in a gold jet pack with a matching gold necklace because he's a busy guy, he's also a pharmacy student so you know he's a reputable source. If you have any doubts, have no fear. I'll be testing out his tried and true theory just to be certain I'm passing along valid information. I almost got good and liquored up tonight for the sole purpose of being able to post tomorrow with a full scientific report, but since I didn't have any drinking buddies available at short notice to act as a control so we will just have to wait. But believe me. Cuz wouldn't steer anyone wrong, particularly on the topic of abusing enjoying an alcoholic beverage.

Good night all. Looking forward to Haiku Monday!

5 comments:

Dutch donut girl said...

Hahaha! I hate turtle necks. I look like a dork when I wear them.
Are you drunk yet??? :)

Eva Gallant said...

Turtle necks emphasize my double chin...and who needs that???

Cheryl said...

ROFLMAO,OL at work. expecially since you KNOW I feel the same way about all that Vera crap, side-splittingly funny!

Belle said...

Plaid = vomit.
I've heard good things about B-1. If you insist, I shall try it...

Nomad said...

hahahaha