Friday, August 14, 2009

Julie's Unfortunate Dentist Visit

(This was written after an unfortunate trip to the Dentist two years ago. For the record, I was told at yesterday's visit with a different Dentist I was the ideal patient with my still sitting and clean teeth.)

I swear I'm not one of the dentist-phobic freaks. I will admit that I have an extreme aversion to the idea of having my wisdom teeth removed. Ill even go as far to admit that I actually scheduled to have them taken out at one point in my life and upon arrival flipped out, proceeded forward, and eventually the oral surgeon decided we couldn't go on because I was (ahem) ..well hysterical. As a child I had no qualms with my cleanings. Around 22, it was discovered that I had two cavities. I successfully received my fillings problem free. I have been very busy for the last five years. (what?!?!) I have failed to go to the dentist in this period of time. I am ashamed to admit that after going to the dentist finally, it was determined that I had two cavities to be attended to. I happily obliged to having them filled as the dentist visit was provoked by A, one of those horrible dreams we all have where our teeth begin falling out of our mouths at an alarming rate. (ie all at once) and B, I've decided to get invisiline.

I arrived at the dentist yesterday fairly confident. I had my pod and tunes ready. It was calming when I realized he was going to pre-numb before he gave me Novocain shots.

"You took your pre-meds right?" he questioned

"Yes." I lied. (I have a heart condition which requires me to take antibiotics before any dental procedure, surgery, piercings, tattoos ect., as to avoid unfortunate heart infections which could result in death. I just hadn't had the time to pick that up. Like I said, I've been REALLY busy these past five years)

After the first shot, I noticed I seemed to be shaking. When he aimed for the second, I noticed how far the needle seemed to be inserted into my face. Then I noticed my back muscles were very tense and I tried to relax.

"Are you certain Im completely numb?" I asked, as he got ready to start drilling.

"Sure are," he said! "Can you feel this?"

"No." I skeptically answered, suddenly realizing I had an overwhelming urge to cry. I considered admitting my failure to abide by medical instructions and run like the wind out of there, but continued on.

Drillings on the first side were non-eventful. The second side was going just fine until suddenly I could FEEL THE DRILL IN MY TOOTH! Natural reaction made me jerk away. "AWWW!!!!!!" I said. (yes, as opposed to "Oww", shut up)

"OK, you CANT move like that!" he snapped.

"ID HURD!!!!!" I snapped back in my mostly numb state. Tears immediately began to stream down my face. I swear, I walked into this feeling just fine. Novocain simply makes me crack under the pressure. The super friendly dental assistant rubbed my arm and said nice things.

"You must not be all the way numb yet." he stated as though he had figured this out.

"Oh really?" I thought angrily towards him. "REEEEEEEEALLY?????? I'm not numb???????" My favorite part was that even the next TWO shots he injected were painful. My jaw is still sore today.

At this point I had not set up my pod and had no intentions of it. I was especially glad of this as he soon said, "Hmm," I pretended I didn't hear it. "Hmmm," he repeated. "That's odd." As it turned out, I had a third cavity in an unusual spot. Great. Another spot of delicious tooth burning to attend to.

We finished up and I drove home feeling like my lip was 10 sizes too large, even though they assured me I looked normal which only made me suspicious. All also noticed that my face was numb as far north as my eye. I didn't really appreciate that either. Once at home I attempted to make faces in the mirror and my inability to form words properly prompted me to begin an irrational stream of tears that would fail to cease for the next 45 minutes. I text Kristen, unaware that she was having a stressful day herself to see how soon she would be home, stating Id had a traumatic dental experience. She text back "be home soon!" I tried to busy myself by folding clothes and cleaning but the tears wouldn't stop. I knew I was being ridic, but I couldn't pull it together.

I had been tear free for about 10 minutes when I heard the door open. I got up prepared to tell Kristen of my ordeal, and to my dismay I was faced with Jud. He paused and looked at me for a minute before asking in an alarmed fashion, "Whats wrong???" (Apparently my bottom lip immediately began to quiver but of course, I couldn't feel this)

"You're not Kristen," I replied clearly stating the obvious and began to bawl. He couldn't have been more uncomfortable trying to console me, which is really quite funny looking back on it.

When Id finally pulled myself together Kristen arrived home with Belle who was ecstatic to be visiting again, and I sobbingly retold my story from under my tear soaked blanket on our couch. She quickly offered to take me to the pharmacy to fill my prescription to avoid a heart infected death. While at the pharmacy, we decided it was a good idea to fill the time waiting by picking up some "Bella Italia" for a stress free din to end the stress filled day.

And I assure you, those tears were Novocain tears.


King of New York Hacks said...

Yeah, Dentists are a strange breed..They all creep me out.

One Sassy Girl said...

I'm an admitted freak at the dentist. Every time I go, someone yells at me and once a hygienist got oddly touchy with me. Take your arm rubbing and add a hair stroke with scary old lady smiling. I was worried she was going to try to off my granny later in "Single White Female" stalker fashion. Anyways, I hate dentists. You should hate them too :)

So glad you found my blog... is it crazy I'm from MD too?? But not living there at the moment. Anyways, I like how you write and am off to read more!

Stephanie Faris said...

I hate going to the dentist but even worse when they start drilling and you feel it. OUCH! I'm glad you made it through okay.