Saturday, April 11, 2009

Calling in the Marines...

A few years ago I posted a blog about Cheryl and I making fun of a conversation we heard in St. Mary's county at dinner. The patrons behind us were talking about bad animals to accidentally get in your house. Apparently karma didn't appreciate my poking fun at the southern folk and I've been battling a squirrel situation with a side of useless landlord ever since. Trust me, I love animals, but hearing them ungracefully crashing about in your walls at 6:30 am is only funny for so long. Humanely capturing them and releasing them into church parking lots only to have them return a few weeks later is not working.

We problem solved this situation for an embarrassingly extended period of time over drinks at Pusser's last night. I was all in a huff after picking up a larger trap yesterday afternoon and stalking behind my curtains for a good 45 min. sniper style only to see the filthy rodent and his friend gingerly creep into the cage onto the trap and back out. (Now, he decides to be light, quiet and graceful) Poison is out because you KNOW it will die in the wall and more importantly if it doesn't I don't want any bald eagles or other nice quiet animals coming along and..oh the horror of it all. Ben had his marines on text and I think "J-F-F" had some sort of a fool proof plan, but I don't recall what it was. Ultimately a B.B. gun seems like it might be the best idea.

"This squirrel is now so ugly to me, I don't have a problem shooting it," I claimed!
"You don't have the heart," said Ben.
"....I know," hangs head in defeated shame.

The good news is, I have outwitted that squirrel!!! At least, that's to say he wasn't so graceful this morning and if you want to know the truth, he is captured upstairs right now! Unfortunately, Nat is sleeping and I don't think I'm brave enough to relocate him myself. He's probably pretty pissed since he's stuck in that cage and its raining outside. (Stifles laugh. I swear I'm not evil.) OK, OK, I'm going!!! Geeez.

P.S. Does anybody know for sure if squirrels can swim?
P.P.S. And no I couldn't release him into the water myself......but if anyone else wants too. Just saying.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Squirrels swim using a "dog paddle" motion, and their tail as a rudder. Swimming is very strenuous for a squirrel, and it's not done unless absolutely necessary.

Also on this handy site, it says it is illegal to poison a squirrel. Just so you know.