Tuesday, February 24, 2009

It takes one to know one...

I am a nice person. I swear I am. People like me. But lately, can I just admit that I have had to really work at being nice to the general population? And it's exhausting particularly when they're nice. For example, sometimes when I'm walking up several flights of stairs to work in the a.m., a person in front of me will stop and hold the door open for me to exit the stairwell. This being a premature exit, I am forced to smile through gritted teeth and explain that I have more flights to climb, and to be perfectly blunt, I'm just not yet ready to be friendly. So this is bitchy and uninspiring so I'll switch another topic. (Sort of.)

There's this Scroogey fellow who lives next to Nat and me. Long story short, he likes to post obnoxious signs in his yard about stuff. Most recently he posted a big old sign right by our house stating his displeasure in a dog scratching up dirt onto his driveway. To my dismay, I kept seeing neighbors look at the sign and then up to our house as though we were the McPosterson's. I let him get away with this for a solid 4 days before we were involved in a relocation battle of the sign. (My putting it on his side of his driveway, and him basically putting it on our porch) He's got a lot of retired man time on his hands, but I'm clever and inventive and was ready to take matters to the next level if necessary, so I was a tad disappointed when he not only gave up but removed his other signs. The next level you ask? Lets just say I'd be knocking out two squirrels with one twirl.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8YZIhlWpS0 (Fast forward along to around the 3:45 min mark)

This guy at my gym is always seductively stretching in non-stretch designated areas and its so fascinating to watch. Sometimes he walks on the treadmill and boxes. Monday he did two new things. First he was on a bike with an elastic band around his shoulders doing something crazylike. Then (and I couldn't make this up) he sauntered up to a stretching post and starting dancing to his ipod music! I was a tad alarmed at his pole dancing but also couldn't believe nobody else seemed amused by his behavior. I can't even describe an accurate visual of what he did next however it involved gyrating in a sexually explicit way that left nothing to the imagination as to what happens in this guys bedroom. I urge you to visit my gym on a guest pass. The workout will fly by you'll be so engrossed watching him! He's more entertaining than manorexic's laps at my old gym. But that's a story for another day...

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